Low Days, and I'm not the UN...

Trip Start Jan 31, 2011
Trip End Dec 15, 2011

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Flag of Japan  , Kinki,
Saturday, March 12, 2011

09:00 Given the comment I got yesterday from someone who clearly thinks I'm insensitive mentioning that I have no phone reception, I have a couple of things to say. Firstly, all the people who know me, know me well enough, as Von counter commented, that I'm not making light of what has happened here in Japan remarking on my lack of Phone reception. My reason for mentioning this I think is glaringly obvious- that given this massive disaster occurred here, where I am, ON MY OWN, people I know would have a first reaction of texting me to see if I'm ok (Graham you numbskull!) and not receiving them, and being unable to reply would cause some people to worry.

Secondly, I'd like you all to know that I am not ignoring the disaster by any means. I speak as I find, and here in Osaka everyone is carrying on, as normal, there is no weeping or wailing or public demonstrations of misery and so on. The way I find Osaka is as if nothing has happened anywhere in the world at all. Although I talked about how Hiroshima made me feel, it being a manmade disaster, at the moment I am totally unable to comment on what has happened elsewhere in japan, for the simple reason that I cannot understand what is being said or written on the tv, I just see the devastation everywhere on the tv (that I very very rarely get to see anyway, never mind a newspaper). You all most likely know far more than I do about what has happened, and given that I'm not a politician I don't feel it's my place to make any sort of gut wrenching sorrowful public statement about where I am.

Of course it's bloody awful, and people have died, have lost loved ones, are homeless and have lost everything, which is horribly sad, of course it is.

Shit happens to good people every day, and I know plenty of people who have life altering events and feel their world has collapsed around them. Hell, I'm one of them!
The way I see it -What is at the core of a disaster anyway? Loss of possessions, loss of life, loss of health, loss of the future you envisaged for yourself. All those things happen to people in many ways. Maybe its in an earthquake or tsunami, maybe its finding out you have a serious disease, maybe its heartbreak, or the death of someone close, maybe its losing your job and all your money and finding you're close to being homeless. I've known some of these things myself, i know others experiencing some of these things now. All are disasters and all have a common theme, loss and grief, and it doesn't matter where you are, in the middle of a thousand other people feeling it too, or all on your own, we all feel it. So graham, you think you know so much, you know nothing about me and my life and i really don't give a monkeys what you say because i'm quite sure you haven't dealt with half the stuff i myself have been through.

I am reporting my story, from my perspective. So Graham, I'd thank you to keep your comments to yourself about whatever moral fibre you believe me to have, get off my blog and seek information elsewhere about what has happened and stop riling my friends. This is my journey, and my story, and having slept on trains, hard bunks, yurts and not slept at all, all of which was fine, it was different and part of my journey, but my god a double bed is a bloody luxury which is just one of the small things in life I now appreciate. So read the rest of my blog to gain a context before thinking I'm some high maintenance, materialistic girl who thinks of nothing but designer clothes, handbags, shoes and phone accessibility for constant Facebook access and tittering idly with my friends about nothing but shallow gossip and worrying if I'll be sleeping in luxury tonight.

Sorry to my friends for this rant, but the person I just described there is, (as you well know!!) not me! I'd quite happily look a mess everyday Sadly, the abilty to comment on this blog is either on for all or off for all, so any nitwit can leave moronic views if they so desire! I like leaving it on as I so love waking up and getting good wishes from you all, it's what makes me believe that there are still people out there who care about me! So once again, I thankyou for your encouragement and always look forward to waking up in the morning (if I have wifi handy) to see who's been reading and keeping up with my day and in some way sharing the trip with me. Even better when I get an email from friends and family too. You guys make my day, knowing you're still there, and that you care.

And on that off topic note, I shall continue with writing how I find things here.
10:24 Waking up in my lovely double bed, which as you know i appreciate massively! i put the tv on to see what's happening. A map of japan with dangerzones on it continues to flash on every channel. A lot of the channels are showing the devastation, I don't know quite where, somewhere where the tsunami hit mind as there is cars and wood all down the streets. I can't make anything out at all and just stare in bewilderment really.
I feel a bit low today and wonder if I even want to get out of bed. I'll look at my book and see what's around. The aquarium here is supposed to be one of the best in the world. The last aquarium I went to was in Cape Town last Jan, it's a lovely one there and I'd recommend it.
12:00 I've had tea, and something that could be called breakfast. It's midday, i've been awake 2 hours and can't muster the energy to do anything today. Not sure why, maybe because I feel low, or a bit tired - carrying my rucksack is quite hard work and with still having a cold I feel pretty worn out. The city outside looks so big and a bit overwhelming. I don't have a map either, although I do want a haircut. I dreamed this morning that I cut it myself, again.
Great tip from JustPassingBy about the cut, not seen one of those places yet, but will keep an eye out.
12:29 I'm out, just wandering the streets round th hotel. There are a lot of ladies dancing clubs around here, I saw them all lit up in neon last night. I'm just going to wander around for a while and see what I find.
13:52 Had a cheap haircut, he didn't speak English so I showed some pictures and he did his best, it's a bit different - shorter at the back and long on top. I don't really care, it's not too long now at least.
14:41 What is pachinko??? Everyone is sitting there with hundreds of little metal balls, putting them in a machine that is absolutely deafening, and I have no idea how the game works at all. Old and young sit there and why?
14:42 I'm walking down pedestrian areas and everyone is riding bikes!! So I have to keep looking behind me in case I get knocked over. I bought some streetfood, not sure what it is, made of eggs and ball shaped with some veg in it I think. I walked down the street and ate it, argh! It's squid tentacle surprise. Literally, the inside is mushy and there is a purple tentacle in there. Ew ew ew! I don't like it! I have 5 as that was a portion, I'm going to have to dispense of this. It's not the purple tentacle so much as the consistency and taste of the middle of the ball. I HATE mushy food!!
15:40 God, I'm in a real mood today. I know exactly why. I've had my haircut and bought a cheap pair of navy jeans, they were literally about 5, and a normal t shirt. Now I can feel a bit more like a real human again as I feel rubbish today. Am actually looking forward to going to china and meeting a new group of people.

Sorry this entry is a bit hit and miss, it's been a funny couple of days and things have got on top of me a bit.

Best thing: a new haircut perhaps - the day was that exciting

Worst- having to feel like I'm united nations compelled to give some sort of speech as to my moral fibre to a random person who doesn't know me and clearly not read anything ive written before to understand the context it in.

2nd best thing - all you guys, my friends, sticking up for me. I'm a lucky lass. ;)
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zoebuck on

Hope this wasn't over the top- as you can tell I got pretty annoyed that someone could pass judgement on me based on a single entry!
I hope this is the end of it and I can get on with telling you all about what I see and can show you photos of.
Not- what my opinions are on the state of something happening somewhere outside the vicinity of my field of view.

Lizziekins on

I can't believe you don't like squid - it's like a gift from Neptune! Delicious!

Pachinko - isn't like the 2p machines we get in the amusement arcades at the seaside

TBH Zoe you didn't need to post some kind of rebuttal to someone who has never met you.

Glad you're back where you can afford to eat real food again - get some veg inside you, all that MaccyD's can't be good for you lol


Von Adder on

Don't even think about it Zoe, get on and enjoy the journey, go go China!

Jenny Perkin on

Take care. It's understandable that people are sensitive given the scale of the disaster. It's your personal blog, make sure you keep everyone who cares updated on how you are and what you are doing. It's your adventure. Hope you're feeling better.

cpbirch on

Hi Zoe,

I agree with Lizzie, you didn't need to write the rebuttal to Graham's unfortunate and uninformed comment. However, I'm glad you did because I really enjoyed reading it! A great piece of writing, just as a generalisation, that draws parallels between large scale natural disasters and individual (personal) disasters.

I've been a bit slow keeping up with your blog but I really enjoy reading it.

If you are having a low day, just remember we all love you loads and miss you too.

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