The Anxiety

Sometimes when everything is going so well and there's not a doubt in your mind that life is great, I sometimes get fearful that something or someone is going to come along and ruin it all. It's not ingratitude, it's simply being jumpy about things to come. I guess it's what you call anxiety. Today we were having lunch with Eduardo's family. We were chatting about our trip with Eduardo's parents and his aunt Ximena who had all travelled the world similarly when they were younger so I was attentively listening to all they had to say about their experiences, tips they had, and advice they freely gave out. At one point Eduardo's dad, Wally, turned to me an told me that anxiety can consume you and make the experience less gratifying. This really stuck to me as I tend to be anxious about everything.

Bored of waiting.....

I got to thinking and wondered if there had been situations where my anxiety had lessened the experience. I couldn't think of any, but knowing me, there were probably plenty as I was unaware of. I think at some point we inherit this type of anxiety from the fast-paced lives we lead with the stress of living in a big city, handling a job, a social life, studies, bills, duties and responsibilities : when we sit to take a breath we think about what needs to be done tomorrow or next week and what you forgot to do, instead of being grateful that you have a few minutes to set and relax. So I decided I was not ready to allow anxiety to come between my experiences travelling and living the life I wanted. The best way to do this I think is to start being totally and completely conscious on living each moment and enjoy it as it comes....as it is.

Bored....

Maybe the anxieties I will face soon will be different in essence. Maybe now instead of overdue bills I haven't paid or a doctor's appointment I forgot to go to, I will now be antsy of where I'll end up and who I'll meet and what I'll do in the next few days, and the other stuff will be unimportant and un stressful. If this is the anxiety I am to face then it doesn't sound so bad at all. As long as it doesn't prevent me from enjoying every lasting second of every breath of every moment, then I'll be ok....I'll be great. Maybe now I will start prioritizing and finally start relaxing over things that don't deserve more than 2 seconds of my brain activity. Hopefully I will be able to feed purely from the good moments and let the bad ones drift away without ruining my time. I'll have to find the self-discipline to achieve this: to concentrate on my moment, my time, my adventure.

Cleaning

So far, during the mental and technical preparation of this journey, I feel I've coped pretty well considering the changes and the pressure I've received from some people. Yes, I have been down a few times and it's been hard, but most of the time I'm just happy. And when things are looking up, there's nothing that can bring you down except yourself. I'll remember this next time I'm anxious.

Public Administrations Building