The Alliance
Trip Start
Feb 10, 2006
1
2
32
Trip End
May 31, 2006
Buenos Aires,
Argentina
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Our relationship didn't begin with the usual first dates: movies, dinners and making out. We usually hung out with friends in common and sometimes found time to be alone. This was the point were everything is casual and you have no idea what game you're playing or what you're getting into, you go with it without knowing the rules. I learned shortly that he had just gotten over a very hard relationship and he was not inclined to start another serious one. Rather, he was looking more to have fun. At the time it sounded ok to me. I hadn't been in a serious relationship in ages and was neither looking not too interested in one. But as we spent more and more time together panic started to sink in as I realized I actually really liked him
By the poolside....
. I had dated a lot of guys previously but I could hardly remember a time I had felt so mushy over someone or if that time had ever existed at all.The more I got to know him, the clearer he made his point about not wanting a serious relationship and only wanting to have fun, meaning: going out, meeting girls and not being attached to anyone.
Paradoxically, I found that he kept spending more and more time with me. He included me in almost all his activities. This confused me so much. How could someone say he did not want to become attached to anyone yet only want to be with me? I started to allow his negative thoughts on relationships not affect me and dismiss them as reasoned thoughts one cannot control with the heart.
I think at some point, only a couple moths after we met, he noticed how much I was into him and he panicked: he told me he liked spending time with me but he was never going to commit to me. He wanted us to be friends (with benefits)and still see other people. I was crushed. At first I was so angry I didn't want to be around him or accept his stupid terms. Yet deep down I knew that he had warned me all along and the one who had not abided by the "rules" was me. Nevertheless, I didn't want to become the kind of person who patiently waits for a man to realize what he's got in front of him
Recoleta palm trees looming over us
. Yet that is exactly what I did. And just like in a Hollywood teenage-love movie, I accepted his terms and invested my time and feelings. I did this because I somehow knew he was holding back. His feelings for me were just as strong as mine, but his past experience and memories were strong enough to lead him down another path. (At least this is what I lead myself to believe).So I played along. I suffered and cried so much knowing I was getting some of him, when I really wanted all of him. At some point it must be human nature to never be content with what you've got, you're always looking for more, and the more difficult and painful it is, the more you want it. So I invested more of my time and my feelings in him, not really getting what I expected in return, always feeling unfulfilled and unhappy, yet amazingly hopeful he would one day give in.
It wasn't an automatic turn around. It was a hell of a bumpy road but it was worth every second. As cold as it may sound, my investment is now showing its profits. We have managed to establish a beautiful alliance built on trust, truth, friendship and lots of affection. He practically moved in to my apartment and we've been inseparable ever since. This is why in one short (and at the same time endless) year we've decided to go on our journey together.
He has grown so much in this relationship. He's committed to me in a way I had never thought would actually happen. One thing hasn't changed though: we are both still best of friends and I've learned the hard way that that is one of the most important things in a solid affectionate relationship.
We've explored each other endlessly, the good way and the ugly way. We've had our share of fighting but we've enjoyed each other intensely
The must-have-sunset-moment picture.
. I believe only like this could we have grown so much into each other and ultimately make the important decision to become partners in our quest.Although there are still some things that need sorting out, I've never felt so sure about someone in my short life. The trials I went through with him showed me how strong I really am and how I don't easily give up when I want something, or someone. I've learned how to compromise my emotions for an ultimate greater good. And I learned how true sacrifice and hard work always pays up.
So this is the story thus far of Eduardo and I. There will be many more to come. I am no longer hopeful, I think hoping is for the weak. You have to make things happen, that's why I know that Eduardo and I are bound for greater things to come.
