Letting go
Trip Start
Oct 30, 2007
1
74
99
Trip End
Ongoing
Los Angeles,
California,
United States
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Loved ones,
Last night I purchased a one way ticket to Bangkok. I do not plan on returning to the USA after that. My intention is to attend a three months Yoga teacher training in Koh Phagnan. Afterward, the plan is to hopefully travel a bit more in SE Asia and then buy a one way ticket to Morocco, where I intend on living from then on.
By now I know that I often tend to break/change/tweak plans and I am comfortable with that, so things may change, but right now I am pretty sure Morocco is where I am going to spend the next part of my life. So for a while I will not have a postal address nor a USA phone number. To contact me, please use this email address.
Love/ Yorron
I have done this before, this business of moving to distant places. At 23 I moved from Israel to London. Then at 24 to Rochester NY. At 40 I moved to Los Angeles. And now, at 43, I'm moving once again. What I am finding out again and again that it does not get any easier with time.
The greatest opportunity that moving presents is to practice letting go. Letting go of stuff, of memories, of attachments. It isn't easy, especially when you are not planning on taking your stuff with you, as I plan to do. The process of purging can be overwhelming. What do I do with all my photos? What about those cards and letters I have saved for the past 20 years? My cowboy boots will be useless in Morocco, and yet I love them so much. What shall I do with them?
I decided to leave all my furniture, kitchen equipment, and artwork to Sean (my ex-boyfriend and now roommate and closest friend). I hope one day he will decide to join me in Morocco. I know he is going to love it there. I do not want to have to deal with selling my stuff to strangers and I do not want to leave Sean with an empty apartment, so this seems like a good idea, even though not financially savvy.
There are a few things I'll pack and have Sean ship them to me in Morocco, such as the iPod sound system, my set of knives, and a few yoga books. All the rest I'll have to let go. And boy is it challenging to let go!
I find myself doing a little at a time, get emotionally charged, sit down and breathe deeply. Relax. Distract myself by reading emails or surfing the internet, compiling to do lists, and resuming the purging process.
I am aware that I am experiencing fear of lack ("Why can't I have that?"), dealing with loss of what I've accumulated and fear that I won't have it again in the future.
I know that to remedy and release the anxiety I have be consciously generous: creating a space for "what is" to be as it is, and to share my abundance with others. So I am allowing myself to have these feelings, but I am also reminding myself that by purging I am clearing up space for new things to show up.
Amazing experiences are coming my way. I just know it!
