Number 1's and 2's
The good thing about having your shower drain into your toilet is that nobody scolds you when you pee while you're washing your hair.
I must admit that I've tried out the Asian style toilet a couple of times. When in Rome and all that. What I don't understand is how you're supposed to hold a cup of coffee and read the newspaper while you're "downloading" if you get my drift. Surely at least one hand should be used for grasping the wall or balancing yourself.
We generally make sure that we use the Western style facilities before we leave the apartment so that we don't get caught at the office or a restaurant being forced to go squat. I've had nightmares where I go to a public washroom, drop my pants and squat only to slip and disappear down the hole. I look up as I'm being sucked into the squalid abyss only to see a pair of cheeks poised for discharge while somebody in the background sings terrible karaoke versions of Celine Dion.
While I'm on the subject, a little more about the apartment. It's quite large, probably about 1200 sq ft. It has 2 washrooms (one Asian and one Western, previously discussed), there is a large living room off a fairly big kitchen equipped with microwave, gas cooker, rice cooker, fridge, water cooler and dish sanitizer. There are four bedrooms, one of which has become a dressing room, one of which we actually use as a bedroom, one of which has nothing more than a phone in it (there is only one phone jack) and one that we don't even go into. There are two balconies and two showers, however we only use one as it is in the Asian washroom, which neither of us is fussy about using as a toilet. Squatting over a hole in the floor just lacks a certain rudimentary civility, don't you think?
For all of the perceived features that this apartment offers it is very basic in terms of finish and craftsmanship. The walls are bare plaster, the door jambs in a couple of rooms don't meet the walls, there are round holes in the bottom of a couple of walls where A.C unit drain hoses are supposed to run outside, but there are no A.C units. The windows are single pane (there is little need for insulation value here) and the screens fit very poorly. The screens are a concern because in the summer this is one of the areas where malaria is still prevalent. It's November and there are still mosquitoes. Window locks cannot be engaged in a number of rooms due to the fact that bars fitted to the inside of the windows interfere with the full range of motion of the locks and nobody took the time to check.
However, the furniture is WAY cool. We have a couple of chairs and a sofa and they all collapse, how cool is that? You can ratchet the arms and backs to fully upright, fully flat or one of about 5 positions in between. Your basic armchair can become a chaise lounge in a matter of seconds. The bed is tiny though, only enough room for me and Cathy .....no group parties.... unless we bring in the collapsible sofa .....
This is probably one of the more expensive neighbourhoods in the city, much of the surrounding area is VERY poor. We see people sitting beside their beds watching TV with their kids in what would amount to a garage in Canada. The doors are often roll ups and open right onto the sidewalk. Tonight as we were walking home we looked up into one of the buildings under construction and saw people lying in makeshift cots and making food on their gas cookers. There were no windows and only a partial roof but the construction workers live where they work because it's free and gives them a (bit of a) roof over their heads.
Try getting Buzz Hargrove to sign off on that one for the Auto Industry,
"Yeah Buzz we reckon that the C.A.W brethren would best serve the industry by sleeping on cots at Ford, GM etc that way if we need them for some overtime we just have to go wake them up"
On second thoughts, with the exception of the cots, that IS what happens.
This area is very much under development, there are new shopping centres, new apartment buildings, new entertainment facilities and new roads under construction as we speak. With that in mind the rent for an apartment of this size is still very low by Canadian standards. It costs the equivalent of $100 Canadian per month for our unit but as part of our contract we pay nothing for it or the utilities. That takes on a whole new perspective when you remember that this is one of the poorest per capita provinces in China and that the average wage in the highest paid province is only $3000 US per YEAR.
On a different note, last week I taught my first information session solo. I've done regular lessons at the high school, but the info sessions are where you basically walk into a classroom in a school that the language consultants are trying to gain as a client and start teaching.
It was great.
I had 5 Chinese national English teachers sitting in on my class so there could have been quite a bit of pressure, however I basically just ignored them and focussed on having fun with the kids. We covered basic sentences, grammar, and (most importantly) pronunciation. The kids were great and even the teachers were having a good chuckle at my 'teaching' methods. Surprisingly they were effective though, so that was a double bonus. 1 hour is a long time to teach 'cold' without any preparation or even knowing what level of student to expect, but it went fairly quickly and the teachers all complemented me afterwards so I guess I did something right.
This week has been kinda slow as the high school students have had exams all week and English classes have been cancelled so I arranged to go and play badminton with one of the male high school English teachers and his friends. Well, I'm not in horrible shape but these guys resoundingly kicked my ass! I was dripping sweat and completely incapable of returning a simple backhand after about 20 minutes. I used to laugh at badminton, I figured it was the racquet equivalent of Tai Chi.
Not hardcore enough for 'real men'. Needless to say I've adjusted my position on that one!
My arms are still sore and I think pulled my groin (no witty remarks please..)
Today while we were in the office a couple of Shaolin Monks came by. They saw me pointing (mouth agape no doubt) and came into the office. We were trying to talk to each other without success. After a while they gave me a piece of rice paper and I realised after looking at it that they were inviting me to a martial arts demonstration. Apparently these guys are part of a troupe that has travelled all over North American and Europe doing demonstrations of Kung Fu, Healing Hands and Chi channelling, charging in excess of $100 for many shows. The price for admission to this one was 3 Yuan, about 50 cents.
I don't know how may of you can understand what a thrill that was for somebody who studied Martial Arts, but let me tell you it was comparable to the consummate housewife who tries her damndest to outdo the Joneses being invited to spend an evening with Martha Stewart (in her jail cell) and then being allowed to keep the phylo pastries.
Unfortunately between the time they handed me the invitation and the beginning of the show it was either moved or cancelled. Who knows why.....we're in China after all, maybe the demonstration was deemed a threat to the social fabric or a contravention to the Guigang edict prohibiting fun in public places. Whatever, but 'Man' was I looking forward to seeing that.
Maybe next time.
The funniest thing happened last week. I know I've regaled you all with stories of how people stop, point and stare and how we can almost literally stop traffic when we walk down the street, so I'm sure that you'll all appreciate the irony of this next anecdote.
Cathy and I were walking home past a restaurant which has an all glass frontage near our apartment building. It's hard not to look inside and see what people are doing, so as usual we glanced inside as we strolled by. Well, after seeing no more than two other white faces in a town of 350,000 people for the last month, we were astounded to see a Westerner sitting in the restaurant with a number of Chinese companions.
As a matter of fact we were so surprised that we did the inevitable.....we stared at him. We were killing ourselves laughing when we realized that our reaction to him was exactly the same as the Chinese reaction to us. Annoying as it can be for the person on the receiving end, those doing the staring are just shocked, intrigued and surprised to see someone who is so obviously different in appearance. These are not well travelled people, it's hard to afford a trip to the States or Canada when the cost of a plane ticket is double your yearly wage.
Anyway, that's about all I can type for now.
Hope every one is keeping well and that it's not too cold yet.
I was sitting on my balcony this afternoon and I think I got a bit of a sunburn.......
Chris
