Cruising down the Nile

Trip Start Apr 01, 2001
Trip End Ongoing

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Monday, March 28, 2005

Yes we've finally cracked!

We "independent travellers" have succumbed to the tortures of organized travel... not just your run of the mill package deal... Oh no my friends, we've been subjected to the most extreme violation of an "independent travellers" rights, principles and traditions.... the Nile Cruise!

Cruise leaders intentionally inflict severe pain (Karaoke Evenings) and suffering (Fancy dress Galabaya Evenings) on anyone crazy enough to step onboard. They dehumanize their victims - seeing them as objects of curiosity and experimentation (How well can a British Beer-gut belly-dance?), and use peer pressure to make their victims accept this torture as necessary and acceptable.

Victims are confined to cell-like cabins, and subjected to sleep deprivation by the constant ringing of bells (to announce breakfast, lunch, dinner and all tours and activities on board).... not to mention the honking of the ship's horn whenever it meets, passes or overtakes another of the several hundred cruise boats which ply this part of the Nile from Luxor to Aswan. 
Victims are then subjected to an intense schedule of daily tours and activities (see below) which take place under the midday desert sun and would test the stamina of even the fittest athlete. For those victims who have succumbed to the food poisoning there is very little hope!

Another favourite method of torture, taken from the Spanish Inquisition, is "foot roasting" whereby the soles of the victim's feet are slowly barbecued over red-hot coals. On a Nile Cruise this torture is made all the more painful by the temptation of a freshwater plunge pool placed just far enough along the deck that your feet will blister before you get there!

We are now back in London recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder!

Viking Travel and Discover Egypt - Nile Cruise


Fly London Gatwick to Luxor


Valley of the Kings
Valley of the Queens
The Colossi of Memnon
The Temple of Queen Hatshipsut


Edfu Temple
Sail to Kom Ombo


Philae Temple
Aswan High Dam
The Unfinished Obelisk
Papyrus Institute
Felucca Ride
Tour to a Jewellery Factory (optional tour)


Abu Simbel by coach (with armed guards)
Nubian Village by Camel (optional tour)
Kom Ombo Temple


Sail to Esna


Karnak Temples
Luxor Temple
Perfume Factory
Sound and Light Show at Karnak

Cabin check out at 10am
Lunch included
Fly Luxor to London Gatwick
Slideshow Report as Spam
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