Trials and tribulations: the road to divorce?

Trip Start Jul 27, 2004
Trip End Dec 21, 2004

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Thursday, September 2, 2004

Ok so last Saturday we picked up Julie Andrews, our campervan for the next 3 and a bit weeks. Looks pretty wicked I think you'll agree, on the outside at least.

Drove from Brisbane down to Byron Bay in her no problems until we arrived at the campsite and had a proper shuffties. She was absolutely filthy so we spent 3 hours of the first night washing bedding, pots, pans etc and gave her a good fettle. Still not very clean but she'll do.

All was fine and dandy until driving up to Hervey Bay. Stopped at the Six Mile Creek rest area for a stretch & a bite, when we came to start her up again nothing, zilch just a rattling from the ignition. She'd broken down on us. Bum! What were we to do now? Miles from anywhere, no phones on the rest area but forunately Julie is a member of the RACQ. So we packed our day bag with essentials, put on our fleeces and headed for the 25km walk to the nearest town. After 3 hours in the outback, outwitting hunting dingoes, out running rabid kangaroos & crazy koalas we were finally in the safety of Gympie. Phewee!

Well all the above would have happened if Kerry hadn't brought her mobile, so we were able to phone the RACQ from the comfort of the van. It was still scary coz we were miles from anywhere and could have been stuck there for weeks. Fortunately the RAC man arrived within half an hour and we were on our way - afer a pit stop to fill with oil - you're supposed to check it every time you refuel, we kind of forgot but fortunately the 1mm that left did us till the next garage.

Got to Hervey Bay safely and all thoughts of Julie Andrews being a bit rubbish were forgotten. That was until Thursday morning. Paul had gone to phone Joanne to wish her happy birthday (happy birthday again by the way Jo). Whilst at the phone box Kerry (in her jim jams) had gone to wash etc. dilogently locking the van before setting off for the shower block. 15 mins later she walked to the phone box and asked Paul for the van keys, "what do you mean you want the van keys. They're on the back shelf."

"Oh!" said Kerry. "Paul."


"The keys are locked in the van."

"Jo, I've got to go."

Paul calmly put the phone down, took several deep breaths and said as calmly as possible (which wasn't very calmly at all actually) "What do you mean you locked the ******* keys in the van? You stupid *******, why the **** did you do that? I don't ****** believe this! Oh for ***** sake! What the **** are we going to do now? Well ****** phoning the RACQ. There's no way I'm looking a **** by saying that to them." And so on for several minutes.

To make things worse we had paid $160 for a whale watching trip which set off in 45mins time. After a few phone calls the RACQ turned up pdq and we made the trip.

The trip was fantastic (more to follow) after getting back Paul thought he'd try the van the van to make sure she was better. Turn of the ignition key, you guessed it, nothing, flatter than before. Sod it Paul thought, let's go for a beer. First thing Friday morning the RACQ man arrived (same one as Thurs, lovely fella and only laughed at us for a few minutes)got her started and off we went to spend a few hours in a local garage while a new battery was ordered, delivered and fitted.

Whoever said the things that go wrong will be those that you remember and laugh about the most needs a punch in the gob - we're not laughing and we're trying to forget!
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