The city of falling angels

Trip Start Jan 03, 2008
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17
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Trip End May 30, 2008


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Flag of China  ,
Thursday, April 24, 2008

its 12 o'clock, i'm sitting here half drunk, listening to chinese folk music, and trying hard to realize who ordered what and who has paid or not.  i've had three joints too many and i've completely lost track of how many beers i've had.  This has been life for the past couple of days.  But being a bartender can sometimes sound a lot more glamorous than it actaully is.  Nothing makes sense anymore and in a weird kind of way, it feels good, great in fact that nothing makes sense anymore.  LIfe is no longer this perfect little road map...and right now, the chaos of it all is the only thing that makes sense.  I pour myself anouther drink and go back to making small talk with the customers.  If i have to ask another person "where are you from and how long will you be staying in Dali," I think i'm going to go insane.  But wait a second, insanity, i think i'm there already. 
Dali, my currently place of residence, my home.  A place that I did not even know had existed a month ago but a place that i've decided to spend the majority of my time here in China.  A place with beautiful mountains and a breathtaking lake.  A place with 20 year old beautiful chinese girls holding hands with 50 year old Europeans.  A place still untouched...but completely destroyed.  A place that can offer you everything you can ever want or dream of, and then take it all away from you in a blink of an eye.  A place where the term "love at first sight" applies on a daily basis, but a place that will leave you heart broken and begging for more.   And i mean literally BEGGING for more.  A place where mistakes are circular and we come back to the same people and the same mistakes over and over again.  A place where nothing is consistant, where everyone is just a traveler passing through, but a place where EVERYONE is looking for a home, for a sense of security.  But security comes at a high price in this place.  We must sacrifice for security here.  Because the person you were in bed with last night, is probubly fucking someone else tonight.   
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