The journey must continue...
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Manila,
Philippines
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
friends-
i miss you all soo much....
.....but, when i look into the sky i see our stars so intimately and purposely aligned, i am no longer nostalgic. i am reminded of our interconnectedness; i also know in my heart that although you may not see the stars from where you are (you know, fog and all), you, too, are reminded that we are forever connected despite our distances and independent life progjects.
i am now leaving manila, on my way to meet alice in shanghai (i cant wait to see her). i will miss all the incredible people ive met here, but the journey must continue...
i am finally alone to contemplate what i've experienced up north. my grandmother is seen as the epitamy of wealth. although she is not, she attempts to give what she can and still her family remains middle class while the rest, poor and corrupt. however, ive learned that filipinos really know how to make light of their melancholic and unsolvable situation here in the philippines. they cry for change, but simply cannot act collectively to create one. they leave everything up to the gov't, in which cries power and greed and institutional preservation like any other. as with any other place, the rich become richer; the poor, poorer. pollution is another huge problem. i can barely breath because of it.
rubbish and squatters, everywhere. recycling bins or trash cans, no where to be found. dogs beaten all the time. wives cheated on regularly.
like alice while in morocco, i could not go anywhere alone, not even across the street. my cousins and their friends watched me liked a hawk and accompanied my every move. it was fun and cool to have companions and bodyguards like that, but after awhile i started to feel a bit claustrophobic and tied down, in which you all know i deter. in this culture, you obey & never question your manongs & manangs-- i raised my voice just a little to my ate (older cousin-29) as she questioned my going ouside to be alone for just a little and i felt horrible but agitated at the same time. she watched as i crossed the street, i sat on the gravel with my notebook & pencil for 2 minutes before she had ordered my other cousins & their friends to sit with me. i smiled and sucked it up.
on a lighter note, ive never experienced such hospitable, friendly, and humorous people. everyone around me paid for everything and denied my cleaning up after myself. they washed my clothes and fed me as if i were a growing child. at the dining table, i was not allowed to move as they insisted to do everything for me, which as you all know is also another peeve of mine. everyone in the town is like family, doors were left wide open- visitors would come and go to greet the family and were always invited to eat....
i could write a novel just on the two weeks i spent in ilocos norte/sur...however, my intentions in writing this are to tell you how much i value our friendship.
you are more than my friends, you are family to me; my foundation and core.
i say unto you what my six year old niece had said a few nights ago, " i believe in my friends because they believe in me-- i love my friends." it made me a bit nostalgic for you.
i believe in each and every one of you. i believe in what you do. i believe in who you are. i believe that you will continue to spread unconditional love to everyone you encounter, especially to those wh need it most. i believe that you are fully experiencing and appreciating the journey it takes to achieve your dreams over the dream itself. i believe that you will break the chains of certitude that inhibit man from seeing the beauty and fragility of life. i believe in you because you believe in me.
...although i miss you, let our journeys continue, in which i believe will bring us together again..
til next time
ash
