Where the hell did that Polar Bear come from?
Trip Start
Dec 26, 2006
1
31
90
Trip End
Dec 25, 2007
Cali and Popoyan,
Colombia
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Continuing on my journey down the Andean spine of Colombia my next stop was Cali, said to be home to hot salsa rhythms and I am only human, the most beautiful women in Colombia, "las caleņas". The 12 hour journey down did not get off to the best start, having to endure "The Hot Chick" dubbed completely in Spanish. Rob Schneider is bad enough in English let alone the dubbed Spanish version. The next movie titled "After the Promise" and starring the guy from NCIS, set in the depression, wife dies, kids sent to homes, father tries to get kids back again but they are now crazier versions of the ones that went in...yeah, my cue to check out the scenery as we rarely cracked 30 km/hr the whole trip due to the windiest roads yet, which is saying something. This time the drops seemed even higher and combined with the rain the chance of a landslide did not seem that appealing.
Once again I rocked up in town, once again it was raining and once again, accommodation was full, and the next place was full, and now it was dark, and I was wet and after a 12 hour ride on a slow moving bus the pretzels were indeed makinīme thirsty! And I know what you are thinking, why donīt you book a room, well unfortunately no-one takes a booking here, and in Panama where you could make bookings I still got booted out for those with a booking. So you canīt win either way. Finally found a place that had what I had not had in nearly five months, no not a badly leaking toilet as this room had that covered, but cable tv.
01 - Hitchhiking Colombian style
And as it pissed down with rain outside, and I devoured the last of my bus snacks, I sat there like an idiot switching (like any guy) from one channel to the another at warp speed until I had done a full lap of the 70 channels, before starting again just in case one program had finished and another one started. Without a tv guide what other choice does a man have. I watched things like the last 5 minutes of Zoolander, 20 minutes of Without A Trace, half a Seinfeld episode, CNN news but Iraq still does not really grab me, crazy Wild On Uruaguy where people struggled to keep their clothes on, and that was just the hosts and a whole episode of 24 and Prison Break as my timing in channel flicking improved dramatically. And the next morning I lept out of bed at the thought of seeing what was out there in Cali, only to walk outside to what appeared to resemble a ghost town in a spaghetti western. The further I walked the less there was happening, to the point I realised I was not going to be able to judge whether or not "las caleņas" were the most beautiful in all the land. And then I had a flash back to my last big trip, Rome, May 1, 1996. And the curse of arriving in a foreign city on May 1, Mayday, a public holiday for all, had struck again. Fighting the tumbleweed and now the blinding rain I did what any self respecting tourist would do, ate quickly and headed back to my room to watch some more tv. I did happen to pass a couple of salsa clubs pumping out the most amazing beats and sticking my head in the door realised they were fighting the same problem, severe lack of anyone.
02 - The long and winding road...to Cali
So Cali, I am sure you are quite the animal on weekends, full of energy, vibrant and extremely easy on the eye. But to me you are the home of rain, rain, more rain and 24 hour cable tv. Popoyan - "Where the hell did that Polar Bear come from?"
So the next morning after reluctantly handing over the remote control and stepping out into...the sunshine, dodging the people, including the odd Carribean godess but Cali obviously has the publicity machine working in their favour, for me the women of Medellin win on points from Bogota, it was off to Popoyan, dubbed Colmbiaīs most beautiful colonial city in the medium to small category. So back on the bus I hopped for my seven hour journey covering more jaw-dropping scenery, well not quite jaw dropping but the words amazing, sensational and awesome have really taken a pounding so far. There is something quite hypnotic about sitting on a Colombian bus as the country slowly passes before your eyes. You are never going fast enough to miss anything, the drivers need a medal as some of the reversing on mountain roads to let oncoming trucks through is perfection, even if you are absolutely sure the back wheels are already off the edge of the road.
Popoyan was everything it had been billed up to be with a great, white-washed colonial character injected with an energy and enthusiasm thanks to the nearby universities. And I seemed to be the only tourist in town, which was most probably not true but in my three days I did not lay eyes on another gringo.
03 - Every city has a dark side, welcome to Cali´s
Some places you travel to have a great feel, this was one of them. Thanks again to the locals for really welcoming you into their part of the world. Feeling in need of meat, and lots of it I headed to the new place in town, Carbonīs and proceeded to devour steak, chicken, chorizo sausage, quickly unplug the artery before finishing with three baked potatoes (the small and not large variety), a salad for colour and a beer for flavour. And those who know me back home know of my love for condiments...lets just say I have yet to see such effecient condiment replacement as everytime my homemade chimichanga sauce was empty it became instantly replaced by a new one. Sure I was the only person in the restaurant which helped but the staff knew the importance of the condiment. I think the meal came to about $6..happy days. The next two days in Popoyan saw the onset of rain, more bloody rain. Not having seen much rain in five months the last week was sure making up for it. And we are not talking light rain, it just belts it down (think Oakbank 2006 for those back home who endured), no wonder this country is so damn green. What to do indoors in Popoyan besides drink coffee but head to the Natural History Museum. After being accosted by about 50 local children in the rock section, all wanting to know about Australia and wishing the tall guy spoke a bit more spanish than "Hay mas canguros" (there are many kangaroos) I headed up to stuffed animal central. I have never seen more stuffed animals in my life. From butterflies, spiders, snakes, eagles eating dead stuffed roadkill, and yes a special stuffed guest all the way from the north of Canada, a giant stuffed polar bear. You name it, it was stuffed. Monkies (stuffed), toucans (stuffed), penguins (stuffed), bears, iguanas and cockroaches, stuffed, stuffed and stuffed.
Something about stuffed animals that makes a man hungry so it was that I ventured back to my mates Oscar and Tucho at Carbonīs for some more grilled meat, and even more potatos than normal as I was now classed as a regular. And so for the next three hours I ate and watched my Spanish improve as I spoke to the guys about their work, familys and great country while showing them pictures of my family and friends back home in Oz , the g-rated photos from my farewell at the Crown and Sceptre for those wondering. No parental supervision required for these snaps! I even got to meet Oscars wife who was trying to drag him home to the kids but first you had to shut him up. Soon she relented and joined in the conversation so I had no idea who was looking after the kids, knowing Colombia, the grandparents were not too far away.
And so as the lighting cracked over Popoyan and the thunder did its best to drown out the Reggaton beats, I headed back to my digs off the main square, opened the wooden shutters, and watched the free light and sound show outside, a show as varied and dramatic as the country itself.
