Mumbai / Elephanta Caves
Trip Start
Oct 14, 2005
1
18
21
Trip End
Oct 31, 2005
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Mumbai,
India
Saturday, October 29, 2005
The time in Mumbai has been rather torturous. Services supplied by the local office have not been up to snuff (smelly bus with bad air conditioning and poor microphone system, no private room for our farewell dinner, guide who was so heavily accented as to be almost unintelligible, strange local assistant who seemed high on something, late meeting at airport). I've struggled through it all, only losing my patience and temper a few times, but am just sorry that the demands of the last few days have been so heavy that I have been utterly exhausted and therefore not able to give my clients my best.
We had to get up at about 5am for our early flight from
Udaipur to Mumbai. The plane left on time and everything was great
until we got to this city. I was warned in advance that things here are
not at the same level that they are elsewhere in Rajasthan, and it
became immediately apparent when we arrived at the airport and there
was no sign of anyone to collect us. There we stood, 21 gay men baking
in the hot humid Mumbai sun, waiting patiently for about 30 minutes
while our poor guide / national tour leader ran around making frantic
phone calls to try to find out what had gone wrong.
It turned out that the bus had been held up in traffic (or so the local
travel assistant said). He apologized profusely, and I thought
everything was going to be fine. We got on the bus, and the smell was
enough to knock you out! It was as if some large fish had died about a
week ago, and was still rotting underneath the passenger section.
01 Elephanta Cruise
The microphone wasn't working properly and neither was the air conditioning.
It was an hour drive from the airport to the hotel. It was well
located, within walking distance from the India Gate and only a block
from the waterfront (Marine Drive -- not the beach). Wanting to cater
to me, of course, I got a splendid corner room which was large and
quite plush. I thought for sure that everyone would be delighted with
the property. Not so! Some of the rooms were really quite small and
because of the heavy monsoon season smelled terribly of mold. Lots of
complaints, but we carried on like troopers.
The only activity planned for this long day was the trip to see the
Elephanta Caves, which was an hour's boat trip in each direction. We
drove to the India Gate in the smelly bus, and then got on a rather
rickety shuttle boat. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I soldiered
on. Scenery: A military ship port, some oil rigs, the clogged
coastline, and the clogged atmosphere. But the guys were all having a
great time, so I kept smiling although I was concerned about the fact
that we did not have a private room arranged at a restaurant for our
farewell dinner later that night.
The caves were absolutely amazing -- carved out hundreds of years ago
from volcanic rock. The monumental carvings totally reminded me of
Egypt -- very austere and grand. We had to climb over 120 steps to get
up to the site, and of course the entire way was lined with vendors of
t-shirts and other tourist trinkets.
02 Shipboard Fun
You can never let my guys loose in a shopping venue because they just keep loading up on stuff! We visited
the caves and sang Happy Birthday to one of my clients whose birthday
was the day after mine -- inside the caves. The guards blew the whistle
on that!
During the return trip a few of us sat on the upper deck with some
locals, admiring the sunset over the city skyline. They started singing
songs in Hindi and dancing with their hands, then they said it was our
turn and we sang the Gilligan's Island Theme. Then they sang again and
we did an upbeat version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Then they sang
again and one of our guys did a horrible off-key version of a song from
Evita. It was worthy of air time on worst American Idol auditions -- a
la William Hung from last season. But just laughing and joking with
these guys was one of the highlights of the trip.
Back at the hotel, I asked if we could check out one of the hotel
restaurants for the Farewell Dinner since we were all so tired and
didn't really relish the prospect of going to an outside restaurant.
They were able to accommodate us in one just off the lobby, and I
ordered margaritas for a toast when we arrived, and also wine with
dinner. I figured the margaritas would cost about $5 apiece. WRONG!
They were just over $10 each! Yikes! That was an expensive bill.
The award ceremony had to be done immediately because another group was
scheduled to arrive in just 30 minutes time, so I launched right into
it.
03 Shipboard Fun
They were hugely successful, as usual, and had the group in hysterics. At the very end when everyone was applauding for the work of
our guide, other people who had by that time arrived in the restaurant
also started applauding too. It was too much fun.
Now came the really creepy part. Everyone had seated themselves, and
there was one client who didn't show up (he wasn't feeling well). The
local tour assistant took it upon himself to sit down at a table for 2,
and the only other place setting available was sitting with him. Well,
I thought this is very strange, not being able to sit with my clients
at the farewell dinner, but it's not about ME, so I'll just sit here
and try to have a conversation with this guy and occasionally excuse
myself and chat at the other tables.
The guy was acting really strange and twitchy, and didn't speak very
good English. He was always coughing and didn't eat anything. One of my
clients came over and whispered in my ear that he could tell the guy
was high on something -- probably opium. Well, I couldn't bear it any
longer, and I went over to my guide and said that I don't know how the
fellow invited himself to the dinner, and that I wanted him to leave,
and the guide said he would see to it. I went back over to the table,
and saw that the fellow had switched out with another person from the
local agency, who was also eating and drinking on Toto. I couldn't
believe it. I told the guide to fire them on the spot, and to be sure
we had a different bus in the morning.
Immediately after the dinner, a group of us went with the smelly bus to
a local club called Voodoo, which is where all the gay guys hang out on
Saturday nights. (It was a Saturday.) They were playing great music,
and I got to do some 2-stepping country dancing with a few of the
clients. The music improved continually during the hour that we were
there, and everyone had a great time. Some even stayed past our 11:30
return to the hotel. I got to bed around midnight.
Hugs,
Dan
