Vodka Martini - Shaken, not stirred!
Trip Start Jun 11, 2008
349Trip End May 14, 2009
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After a spot of lunch we headed down to the Esplanade on the beach front. Wanted to check out some of the bars for tonight as well!
Back at our van park we had an hour or so in the pool before enjoying Martini's and beers in the sun - perfect.
After dinner we hit the town - well, the only 2 pubs in town. First up was the Torquay Tavern. I asked for their largest glass of beer - she replied "schooner!" - I thought she was giving some sort of Aussie swear word until she indicated it was a glass. IT'S A BLOODY HALF GLASS!! What sort of girlie serving of beer is this?! There's only a blummin' mouthful in them. It's like they've shrunk in the wash or something!
Anyway, we walked to the outdoor drinking area, keeping the glass hidden from view, to check the place out. On a bit of a stage was a live singer - which, to be fair, was a nice touch because nobody really wanted to see a dead singer! A real dead singer for love, in fact!
Anyway, this fully functional singer was giving it his all with a fine collection of unknown, unheard of, hillbilly, country & western songs. One drink was enough before we decided to try out the only other pub. This was an Irish bar called Hoolihans. Guess what, they actually sold PINT's!! Oh the wonderful feeling of a proper sized drink!
There was a joke on the drinks menu that you've probably heard before, but I'm gonna bore you with it anyway, if I can remember it all (it's pretty long, so skip to the next paragraph if you can't be bothered).
Irishman was at an interview for a job. The interviewer, in an attempt to establish his potential employees lateral thinking, set him a task. He drew 6 vertical lines on a piece of paper and asked, (lets call him Paddy), he asked Paddy to make the lines into 9. Paddy thought for a second then connected the three sets of two lines together with some curly looking leaves. The interviewer said "that's not nine", to which Paddy replied "yes it is, tree and tree and tree is nine"! A little miffed, the interviewer said "right, make it ninety-nine then". Paddy thought for a while, then scribbled all over the original lines like dirt. The interviewer said "that is not ninety-nine". Paddy replied "yes it is, dirty-tree and dirty-tree and dirty-tree is ninety-nine"! Getting frustrated, the interviewer said "right, make it a hundred then!". At first Paddy was a little stumped, but then drew a small pile of pooh next to each line. "there you go" he said, "dirty-tree and a turd plus dirty-tree and a turd plus dirty-tree and a turd is a hundred"!
Well it was funny after a few beers and martini's alright!
This bar also had a live band on, called 'Chops'. They weren't goo bad, but unfortunately they seemed to attract the inbreds out of the woodwork! I mean, seriously, these people had mullets and a fag behind the ear or were wearing sequin dresses - or even worse, both!!
Don't get me wrong, after a couple more beers we fitted in perfectly, but initially it was scary!
The rest of a night is a bit blurry, but I know we indulged in a revisit to the Torquay Tavern at some stage!