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Temples, darts, and a reunion of Brits
Entry 28 of 34 | show all | print this entry |
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Alright so I haven't got to really describing Bangkok yet have I? We'll just start with the fact that the city is HUGE, I mean it's really big and trust me you feel it. Next, there are a whole lot of Farang (pronounced Falang, this is the Thai word for foreigner) walking around and at times it doesn't feel like you've left the states. It's hot, muggy, and absolutely full of two things: 7 elevens (there is seriously one per 100 feet) and woman who aren't modest about their dress, not even the older ones. It's kinda nuts but the school uniforms that the girls wear, and Bangkok is crawling with them, usually consist of white tops, with either a short black ruffled skirt, or a very tight short black skirt with a huge slit up one of the sides. So there you have it, Bangkok is a pretty wild place and you can do anything you want as long as you don't get caught, which is really never a problem anyway. Oh and one other thing, there is a shit load of Nana tourists, these are the tourists who are usually overweight white men who are at least 50 years old, walking hand on wrist with a young Thai girl who is basically wearing revealing clothing even by Bangkok standards. It doesn't take any large leap of the imagination to understand what's going on. There are a lot of these 'couples' and I swear the men have about as much shame as the amount of clothing their girls are wearing. There's also an immense backpacker scene here which Mike and I tried to avoid but failed in doing so because to do otherwise is to pay a lot of money unnecessarily.
Thailand absolutely loves its king. Unless you've been here you probably didn't know Thailand had a king but as soon as you get here, you quickly realize that this is the most well loved king of them all. I know I mentioned this before but the king is in full effect in Bangkok. He's got pictures of himself on the freaking sky scrapers! Indeed there are pictures of him that need to be measured in floors, on average they're about 15 floors high and cover the face of the building from edge to edge, it's insane. There are are almost as many Tuk Tuk's as there are photos of the king, and the lady boys thrive here. So I hope this gives just the most basic impression of Bangkok. Needless to say the nightlife here is off the hook and whatever you want to find, you can. After Andreanne left, Mike and I decided to go to a few temples and the Grand Palace, the Thai equivalent of the white house. We walked around all day and took a bunch of pictures, let me just say now that the Grand Palace is really really grand and so beautiful that you could really spend all day there. I'll be nice though and let the pictures and movie tell the rest of that story. Later in the night we gave a call to Bee, an awesome girl I met once in San Francisco through my girl at the time Praggya. In fact, she was Praggya's ex-boyfriend's sister, and I found her through myspace. When we had met she was just dropping in from Bangkok and told me that if I ever was in the city to give her a call. Well thanks to myspace I found her and we set up a date to meet up. In the mean time Mike had been in touch with Matt and Sharon, the awesome British couple we met in Korea all those months ago. Mike told them where we were staying and somehow they found us, this was no small feat since it was the most well hidden hostel I'd ever seen. So that night the four of us got back together and had a major catch up session. The next day we sort of did our own thing and caught up with Bee and her girlfriend later on that evening.
Trust me when I say that there is no better guide to Bangkok than a local lesbian and her girlfriend. We met up on Thanon Silom, a major street there and got a brew at a really nice bar. There we hung out and people watched for about an hour while Bee explained to us that about 90% of Bangkok's men are gay and all women are bisexual. Then she began pointing to guys walking down the street and commenting on whether or not they were gay, that just cracked me up. After a little while Bee asked if we wanted to move and so we did. She told us that this district of the city was the financial district, but that right next door was the red-light-debauchery district and that we were basically right about to walk into it. Taking comfort in our Thai speaking local guides we said we wouldn't mind having a good look around and Bee told us that she always takes her friends to the sex shows. So clearly we had to come correct and before we knew it, we were looking for a club with a first class show. It didn't take long for a guy pedaling little leaflets about his company's show found us and began directing us to the 'club.' We went through a mess of little back alleys before we arrived and then ascended to the third or fourth floor of a really dodgy building. Once there we could here the music and see the topless women on stage.
We had a seat next to the stage where the minute we sat down some woman came and sat next to each of us. Mike was so lucky that he was nestled between me and Bee. Anyways, this girl starts putting her hands all over me and asks if I would like a private show in her odd english. I totally decline and pay for the entrance for Mike and I, 300 Baht each. The girls finally got the hint but not before flashing me a glimpse of everything they had to offer, it was kinda gross. I paid with a thousand Baht note and was expecting four one hundreds bought bill for change. This came to me in a folder that most nice restaurants give change in, and as I opened it to see that it was all there, two of the sleazy women each took a hundred baht bill and asked if it could be their 'tip.' I was like "Hell No!" and demanded my money back. The two girls asked and begged to keep it, and then jammed the bills into the crotch of their respective panties where I would never see the bills again, and casually walked off. I got totally screwed out of 200 Baht and was not happy about it in the least bit. The sex show isn't really well named, there's no sex to be seen. What there is is a bunch of Thai women who are topless and don't want to be there. It's a pretty depressing sight to be honest, watching these women who aren't smiling as they just sort of shift their weight from side to side unhappily. Those are the majority of the women working there, then there's the work horses. The work horses are usually shorter, way fatter, way uglier, and do all the captivating work. They don't wear panties. They're the unfortunate one's who put a bicycle horn in their lady bits and honk, or pull a string of razor blades out of there, or open a bottle of beer with their vaginas, I don't know how they accomplish that by the way!
The one trick that really stood out this night however was one involving darts. The work horse girls would insert a straw into their vagina and load the straw with a dart that they would then fire at a balloon being held a small distance away by another girl. They were shooting lots of balloons down and many were right in front of the spectators, like us. Well, they went on shooting from one side of the stage to the other and soon they were shooting darts right towards us. I was watching one of the balloons explode when all of a sudden I see Mike flinch. Everyone looked over at Mike and I just hear him say "No fucking way!" And there it was, a freshly fired pussy dart sticking right out of his arm, mind you Mike as a big problem with metal piercing flesh (he really doesn't like needles). I would say this was the highlight of the evening. He was a bit white in the face and pulled the dart out of his arm hoping with all his might that he hadn't contracted some terrible class of infection. In the end nothing happened though he will get a thorough check up when he come home. We left the 'club' shortly afterwards and met up with a few of Bee friends at a bar she frequents. We all hung out for a while and around 2 in the morning we called it a night. It was honestly a night that I don't think either of us will ever forget. The next day we met up with Matt and Sharon again and went to the Zoo. There really isn't much else to say about it other than it's a zoo like any other we have in the states, with the exception of the fact that there are a lot more monkeys and they really promoted the fact that they had a red panda. It's really not that interesting because a red panda is really just an over glorified rancoon. Little did we know that Matt, Sharon, Mike and myself would be traveling together through a few more cities and towns, so I'll leave those stories to the next couple of entries. I wish this entry weren't so long, but we spent 8 days in Bangkok and these were just the highlights.
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