So hard to say goodbye

Trip Start Feb 15, 2004

Trip End Dec 18, 2004

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Flag of Australia UNSW, Australia
Monday, November 15, 2004

I hate saying goodbye. So why am I constantly putting myself in situations where I have to do just that? Maybe because I enjoy the going-away parties. I am no longer a teacher at Australian Pacific College... I already miss it, and my last day was only 3 days ago! I feel like I've spent the past week saying goodbye, which was harder than I thought it would be. At the weekly graduation ceremony on Friday, they made me give a speech, my students presented me with a big card they'd all signed, and I sang the college song one last time (it's to the tune of the Cheers theme song, funnily enough). Then it turned into a 30 minute photo shoot with my students (I'm going to miss feeling like a celebrity), with lots of sad goodbyes. One of my students even started crying! It wasn't goodbye forever though, because we all made plans to party on my birthday. In the teacher's room, they had not one but two cakes for me and then we all headed to the pub down the road for my "farewell drinkies." Some of the teachers tried to convince me that it's an Australian tradition for the person leaving to shout (pay for) everyone's drinks, but I'm no stupid American

Class Photo 1

. Almost all the teachers showed up to say goodbye, which made me feel pretty special since until recently I'd felt like we hadn't really bonded. As one of them said though, "It's not everyday a Yank leaves Australia." (They just wish it happened everyday - haha.) Well it's nice to know I'll be missed. I know Ray will miss having someone to direct his American jokes at. And who's going to answer all the American questions? David won't have anyone's class to interrupt when he needs to know what a condominium is or what the difference between college and university is. And Mic won't have anyone to badger about the inner workings of the American political system. Who knows - maybe I'll be back one day...

As David observed, that was my first step in really leaving Australia. It still doesn't seem real that I'll be going home in a month though. Of course, before I go, I have all my big uni assignments to finish (3 down, 1 to go!!) Plus I'm travelling to New Zealand in a week! But sadly it will all be over before I know it. The past 9 months have flown by! I guess now is the time to really take a look back and reflect on my experience. David asked me if I found what I'd been looking for in Australia, but I don't really know if I was looking for anything in particular. I came here because I fell in love with Sydney 4 years ago and promised myself I'd return one day

Class Photo 2

. (The free Master's degree was also a big incentive!) I just wanted to spend some more time in this beautiful city, experience a bit more of the laid-back Aussie lifestyle, and gain some more knowledge of linguistics. And I've done that, so I'm satisfied. I'm proud of the fact that I was able to make a life for myself here, instead of just being a backpacker posing as a student like the last time. I earned a Master's degree (almost!) and became a teacher, even made some Aussie mates. It's been good. The only thing I didn't do was find my hot Australian surfer who I could marry so I could become an Australian citizen. :) But there's a hot American liftie (who can do a pretty good imitation of an Aussie accent) waiting for me back in Colorado, so I'm not too disappointed.

I didn't come here to find myself, but I guess every experience in life teaches you something about yourself. The surprising thing to come out of all of this is how much I'm looking forward to going home. Don't get me wrong - I love Australia. I've spent the past 6 years getting away from NY as much as possible, and I haven't been all that homesick. But I miss my friends and family now. That's what's been missing from this experience. I've been in an amazing place, but without the people I love most in the world. I guess I've gained a new appreciation for the importance of those people in my life.