Life in Resita
Trip Start
Jun 01, 2005
1
6
9
Trip End
Sep 01, 2007
Hello All! It's October 31st...Happy Halloween!! I've been thinking about each of you a lot lately and have wanted to send out an update. I thought maybe I would send out a more personal update and tell you what's been going on in my world and show you some of what I've been learning here. I want to have time to send individual emails out but have a hard time doing that b/c my days have been rather busy lately. Of course, this is a good thing! I think I get a little overwhelmed at the amount of personal emails I want/need to send since I don't ever get to talk to any of you but I think about you often and miss our conversations. With that said, here's me and my current feelings/trials/tribulations/experiences...
To start off with...God how I miss everyone. Lately the motivation and will have been a difficult struggle for me, as I sometimes ask Why am I here again...? The struggle comes from adjusting to site, having a basic understanding of the language, slow advances with my organizations, and difficulty making friends. I hate that I even question why I'm here sometimes, when I know deep down exactly why I'm here. Of course I say "here" and part of me still associates that with Uzbekistan. I do wish I was still there and I have to say that my heart is still there, in some ways. However, happiness is definitely a state of mind, and when that state is constantly in flux it's hard to not only feel like yourself, but to be open to what is good around you. I have slowly been making progress with my organization(s) and have slowly been making friends too.
I know I should not really think in terms of how something will serve me since learning the language is really about identifying better with the people and culture in which you are living. For example, I really learned this lesson yesterday. I was with a group of Romanian friends over the weekend on a caving trip. We had to hike there and hike back (over large hills, mud and forest) which was probably over 25 kilometers (~15 miles), and the cave adventure itself was very physically challenging. Well, most of the people speak some varying level of English and all want to practice with me. As an aside, that is what makes it difficult to "make friends" sometimes, b/c some people only want to talk to you for this reason, and not b/c they are really interested in you or being friends...or some just want to "be friends" with you so they can say they are friends with the American. Anyway, so I am making some friends and learning to tell the difference in the aforementioned problem. As we were hiking back to Resita yesterday one of the guys was mentioning to me that he's met some really cool people on this trip and has learned a lot about them from all the stories being told over the weekend.
See, I didn't get to hear all the stories this weekend, just pieces of the stories, in addition to the one-on-one conversations people had with me, in English. Not to discredit that, b/c I had some really great conversations, but not knowing the language well makes you miss out on a lot of cross-cultural exchange. I know that I have only been here 5 months now, and I have to be patient but it is a challenge right now when I so long for deeper relationships with those around me. I was talking to some other volunteers lately about socializing and several of us had similar experiences when it comes to even knowing what to say sometimes around the new people we meet. See, I have a whole new appreciation for friendships back home. By default, we as Americans have much to talk about just by the mere similarity in home country, language, history, current events, family life, cultural norms, entertainment, god the list could go on. Most of you know that I've never been shy about striking up a conversation with strangers, either. I'm pretty outgoing by nature, so this new shyness and loss of words really sets me back. I have to really search for something to say quite often now as many times you are not in just a one-on-one situation but there are several other people around you and so asking the deeper or more personal questions I can think of aren't appropriate at that moment.
I've mentioned the project I'm working on with the City Hall, right? Well, I just recently was able to start with the research phase in trying to figure out why the City Hall has an image of bad customer service (is it external/internal/or both) and also figure out what needs to be done to improve employee morale. So, I'm conducting my first round of interviews with the various Directors and it was really cool after each meeting they would then want to ask me so many questions about our systems of government in America. What is provided by the federal gov't, how does it work, how does our healthcare system work, what is the poverty situation like and what does the gov't do to help.
I can see that maybe one reason I'm here specifically is to try to redirect energy and focus on what can be improved around them.
Another problem that exists is that b/c there are so few opportunities for good jobs here in Romania, most people that do go to University are never able to use their degree even if they worked hard for it. Even if they have a desire to start a professional career most have to fight really hard to find the opportunities and make a lot of sacrifices to get there. On the other hand some people just look at University as something to do before they get married, never having any real expectations to use their degree. From this you can see that the problem is not only in lack of opportunities but in that some people don't even see a reason to look and therefore aren't motivated to try.
My profesoara de limba Romana (Romanian language teacher) has been telling me a lot about the school systems here (secondary and H.S.) where again there is much corruption and lack of appropriate training.
Okay let's get away from the topic of schools for a moment! I will finally be moving into my own apartment next week, after many delays. (Update 11-2-05: Nevermind, another delay...won't be until the 15th) anyway...I'm still very excited. It's a one-room apartment where the living room will also serve as my bedroom, and then I have a bathroom and kitchen. The apartment has only been used for storage for the last few years and so needed a lot of repairs before I could move in, and this has been the reason for the delays. It will undoubtedly be (modestly) beautiful when I move in and will have a new bed/couch, shower stall, paint, rugs, chairs and who knows what else. Even when I saw it before any renovations I liked the feel of it. It is on the 3rd floor of a 3 story apartment building, just down the street from my gazda (host) family.
This past Friday I received a lovely large box from my parents, which included clothes, my black leather jacket(!), DVD's, books, gifts for me, and a gift I asked them to get for my host dad. My gazda family is a retired couple whose combined income is less than what PC gives me for my monthly living allowance (not even including rent). This is a sad and very difficult situation for them, they really struggle a lot and are raising 2 grandchildren. My living with them has really helped them financially these past 3 months. I've learned that one of their favorite past-times is music and cards. My host dad can sing beautifully, play the piano, and play the harmonica very well. He has played his harmonica on several occasions, but I noticed that it wasn't a very good one. I asked my parents to find a good one and send to us here. Well, in last Fridays box that harmonica arrived and at his grandson's b-day party Friday nite I was able to give it to him. It was such a moving experience seeing the expression on his face as he opened up the harmonica box. He was speechless at first and I saw tears in his eyes, it turns out this was the model and brand he had wanted for a very long time.
This is just a few of the stories and a little bit of the culture I have seen here so far. The everyday can get quite challenging, but that's no different than living anywhere. I'm looking forward to coming home for Christmas and seeing the family again. I will go for now, but hopefully will send an update again before I leave in December. Take care and keep in touch...
Just a quick update before I send this!...Okay so now it's Nov. 2nd and I didn't send this yesterday b/c overall it was a really bad day. Short version: my language prof. won't be able to work with me most of the remaining year due to her schedule at school, my City Hall project partner is about to leave for a few weeks for a project out of the country, and now yet another delay in moving into my own apartment, oh and a few other jabs here and there that I can't find a way to tactfully mention.
So...with that I take a big deep breath and think to myself, I'm not going to just survive my way thru two years and let the little things bring me down...I will rise above it and move forward. No little pity parties for me! And so on this new day of blue skys, nearby rolling hills with trees's filled with red, yellow, orange, brown and green leaves that surround my city and oh yes, yellow smoke in the air from the nearby factory....another day begins in Resita.
My love and warm wishes to you all,
Amber
To start off with...God how I miss everyone. Lately the motivation and will have been a difficult struggle for me, as I sometimes ask Why am I here again...? The struggle comes from adjusting to site, having a basic understanding of the language, slow advances with my organizations, and difficulty making friends. I hate that I even question why I'm here sometimes, when I know deep down exactly why I'm here. Of course I say "here" and part of me still associates that with Uzbekistan. I do wish I was still there and I have to say that my heart is still there, in some ways. However, happiness is definitely a state of mind, and when that state is constantly in flux it's hard to not only feel like yourself, but to be open to what is good around you. I have slowly been making progress with my organization(s) and have slowly been making friends too.
All work and no play??
The language classes are coming along, but for some reason I'm not quite as motivated with the Romanian language as I was with Russian. I guess I feel like Russian was going to serve me more in the future and was more interesting. Romanian just seems very backwards to me and so complex grammatically.I know I should not really think in terms of how something will serve me since learning the language is really about identifying better with the people and culture in which you are living. For example, I really learned this lesson yesterday. I was with a group of Romanian friends over the weekend on a caving trip. We had to hike there and hike back (over large hills, mud and forest) which was probably over 25 kilometers (~15 miles), and the cave adventure itself was very physically challenging. Well, most of the people speak some varying level of English and all want to practice with me. As an aside, that is what makes it difficult to "make friends" sometimes, b/c some people only want to talk to you for this reason, and not b/c they are really interested in you or being friends...or some just want to "be friends" with you so they can say they are friends with the American. Anyway, so I am making some friends and learning to tell the difference in the aforementioned problem. As we were hiking back to Resita yesterday one of the guys was mentioning to me that he's met some really cool people on this trip and has learned a lot about them from all the stories being told over the weekend.
Budapest - Fishermans Wharf
As he said this, I was of course happy for him, but felt a twinge of pain with his words since I experienced this on a much smaller scale. That's where not having fluency in the language hurts you. See, I didn't get to hear all the stories this weekend, just pieces of the stories, in addition to the one-on-one conversations people had with me, in English. Not to discredit that, b/c I had some really great conversations, but not knowing the language well makes you miss out on a lot of cross-cultural exchange. I know that I have only been here 5 months now, and I have to be patient but it is a challenge right now when I so long for deeper relationships with those around me. I was talking to some other volunteers lately about socializing and several of us had similar experiences when it comes to even knowing what to say sometimes around the new people we meet. See, I have a whole new appreciation for friendships back home. By default, we as Americans have much to talk about just by the mere similarity in home country, language, history, current events, family life, cultural norms, entertainment, god the list could go on. Most of you know that I've never been shy about striking up a conversation with strangers, either. I'm pretty outgoing by nature, so this new shyness and loss of words really sets me back. I have to really search for something to say quite often now as many times you are not in just a one-on-one situation but there are several other people around you and so asking the deeper or more personal questions I can think of aren't appropriate at that moment.
Building an outdoor oven
The life experiences of those around me are very limited, most can't even tell you if a nearby city is north, south, east or west and many learned how to speak English from watching American movies. And if most of the movies (American) that you can watch here now are crap, then I can only imagine what it was like in the past. Of course, to be fair, they do know geography outside of their region, and can tell you where certain cities are w/in their country or internationally, but they do usually have a very backwards view of America and usually redefining that view for them is one of my first tasks, since I don't have to wait long before it's brought up in conversation. This of course is something that I really like, b/c it has to do with the showing the real face of America that is not Hollywood, or political. Just reality, as it exists on so many different scales in our country.I've mentioned the project I'm working on with the City Hall, right? Well, I just recently was able to start with the research phase in trying to figure out why the City Hall has an image of bad customer service (is it external/internal/or both) and also figure out what needs to be done to improve employee morale. So, I'm conducting my first round of interviews with the various Directors and it was really cool after each meeting they would then want to ask me so many questions about our systems of government in America. What is provided by the federal gov't, how does it work, how does our healthcare system work, what is the poverty situation like and what does the gov't do to help.
Do-It-Yourself Youth Exchange
All kinds of really good questions are being asked by these people that I'm interviewing and I really enjoyed being able to answer their questions and learn about their systems at the same time. For example, I just learned that the government here automatically pays for your college education in country. Now, you do have to be accepted into a school and it is a competitive application process, but you will be able to go granted you can afford to live in the city where the university is, if not in your hometown. I'm learning that in small towns like Resita, where we have a small university, most kids do not want to go to school here b/c of corruption in the school and lack of qualified professors. Most go to school here b/c they could not afford to live in a bigger city (on their own) or could not afford to be away from the family and needed to stay and work part time in order to put bread on the table. There does not seem to be much prestige or reward from going to a small university, like we have here b/c employers in Romania view it more as little more than a H.S. Diploma, which gets them practically no where. Especially in a country where there are few professional opportunities to begin with outside a few big cities. So many young people want to leave Resita (and Romania) but see little hope in that ever happening. And it seems like the ones that do leave are the ones we most need to stay and be part of a positive change movement.I can see that maybe one reason I'm here specifically is to try to redirect energy and focus on what can be improved around them.
Fighting the mosquito's
Find ways to encourage people to stay. I would love to start programs here that deal with the poverty situation in Resita, or the stray animal over-population problem, or help find more economic/professional opportunities for people here. This city has a lot of positive points and I feel it has much undiscovered potential. The youth here are pretty amazing and I think they are definitely the key to Resita's future. Many wonderful programs already exist here too, like Save the Children, a Handicapped Association, an At-risk Youth organization, and so on...but we need more dedicated people and more ideas and a positive vision from the city as a whole to create more interest and involvement locally.Another problem that exists is that b/c there are so few opportunities for good jobs here in Romania, most people that do go to University are never able to use their degree even if they worked hard for it. Even if they have a desire to start a professional career most have to fight really hard to find the opportunities and make a lot of sacrifices to get there. On the other hand some people just look at University as something to do before they get married, never having any real expectations to use their degree. From this you can see that the problem is not only in lack of opportunities but in that some people don't even see a reason to look and therefore aren't motivated to try.
My profesoara de limba Romana (Romanian language teacher) has been telling me a lot about the school systems here (secondary and H.S.) where again there is much corruption and lack of appropriate training.
Hungarian Parliment
Cheating is tolerated and often overlooked, the teachers are often not trained well and lack any repore with their students, many teachers do not try even try to engage the youth. On the other hand teachers are paid very little, are asked to take on more hours w/o getting paid for this extra time or expected to cover other teachers shifts w/o compensation. The school directors are often hired based on politics and not qualifications and they generally provide little support to the teachers in terms of disciplinary issues with the children/youth. However, at least money for schools is usually available and supplies are generally not a problem. I actually don't know if that is universal (about money), but at least it sounds true here in Resita.Okay let's get away from the topic of schools for a moment! I will finally be moving into my own apartment next week, after many delays. (Update 11-2-05: Nevermind, another delay...won't be until the 15th) anyway...I'm still very excited. It's a one-room apartment where the living room will also serve as my bedroom, and then I have a bathroom and kitchen. The apartment has only been used for storage for the last few years and so needed a lot of repairs before I could move in, and this has been the reason for the delays. It will undoubtedly be (modestly) beautiful when I move in and will have a new bed/couch, shower stall, paint, rugs, chairs and who knows what else. Even when I saw it before any renovations I liked the feel of it. It is on the 3rd floor of a 3 story apartment building, just down the street from my gazda (host) family.
In Budapest
My building has a card-key entrance which is a great security feature, my landlord is really nice, and the other tenants I've heard are very nice and non-intruding. Of course, my move into this place will be really easy since I have relatively little, but PC has given us a moving-in allowance in which I will be able to buy all necessary items. This past Friday I received a lovely large box from my parents, which included clothes, my black leather jacket(!), DVD's, books, gifts for me, and a gift I asked them to get for my host dad. My gazda family is a retired couple whose combined income is less than what PC gives me for my monthly living allowance (not even including rent). This is a sad and very difficult situation for them, they really struggle a lot and are raising 2 grandchildren. My living with them has really helped them financially these past 3 months. I've learned that one of their favorite past-times is music and cards. My host dad can sing beautifully, play the piano, and play the harmonica very well. He has played his harmonica on several occasions, but I noticed that it wasn't a very good one. I asked my parents to find a good one and send to us here. Well, in last Fridays box that harmonica arrived and at his grandson's b-day party Friday nite I was able to give it to him. It was such a moving experience seeing the expression on his face as he opened up the harmonica box. He was speechless at first and I saw tears in his eyes, it turns out this was the model and brand he had wanted for a very long time.
Looking out over Budapest
This family has little other than spirit to bring happiness to each other, money and the lack of it is brought up quite often. For example, our main meal each day is usually soup, and on Sundays a big meal is fixed and leftovers are what we eat in addition to soup until the leftovers are gone. Food here is very expensive and with them raising two grandchildren (whose parents are in Italy working) they focus all time and attention on enriching the children's lives as much as possible. They were able to buy a very old piano for the grand daughter last week, who very much enjoys playing. She had been playing on a keyboard, but now they will probably sell it...hey maybe I should buy it...hum...good reason to learn how to play, eh?? Anyway, the harmonica was not just a gift for the grand-dad, it was a gift of music for the whole family, as he is so excited to have it he is playing for them with new life and enthusiasm which everyone can enjoy. This is just a few of the stories and a little bit of the culture I have seen here so far. The everyday can get quite challenging, but that's no different than living anywhere. I'm looking forward to coming home for Christmas and seeing the family again. I will go for now, but hopefully will send an update again before I leave in December. Take care and keep in touch...
Just a quick update before I send this!...Okay so now it's Nov. 2nd and I didn't send this yesterday b/c overall it was a really bad day. Short version: my language prof. won't be able to work with me most of the remaining year due to her schedule at school, my City Hall project partner is about to leave for a few weeks for a project out of the country, and now yet another delay in moving into my own apartment, oh and a few other jabs here and there that I can't find a way to tactfully mention.
So...with that I take a big deep breath and think to myself, I'm not going to just survive my way thru two years and let the little things bring me down...I will rise above it and move forward. No little pity parties for me! And so on this new day of blue skys, nearby rolling hills with trees's filled with red, yellow, orange, brown and green leaves that surround my city and oh yes, yellow smoke in the air from the nearby factory....another day begins in Resita.
My love and warm wishes to you all,
Amber


Comments
Hang in there Kiddo!
Hey girl!
I haven't checked my e-mail in a while, but I was very excited to hear from you!
Hang in there! I know things don't want to move very quickly when you are trying to do some good and get things going. Sometimes progress can be very slow but just remember that you are always moving forward, even if it is sometimes a snail's pace.
I am very excited to hear that you will be home for a little while. Let me know exactly when. I will be gone from December 30th to January 7th. I am going to LA and Las Vegas to see family and friends. If you are around maybe you can meet up with me in Las Vegas!
I have been very busy. I have hardly had time to see my family. Mom will call and ask if I am going to come and see her.
It looks like my roommate and I are going to be staying at the same apartment at least until I graduate. That takes some stress off of me. We finally have the apartment the way we want it and have everything fixed that should have been fixed before we moved in. I am going to see if we can get our rent lowered. Wish me luck on that one!
Tara had here baby girl on September 27th. Her name is Marin Olivia McCollough and was 7 lbs 2 oz and was 20 inches long. She is a beautiful little girl and mom and dad are trying to adjust to a eating and sleeping schedule.
I saw Kelly a while ago. She is having a baby boy and is due on January 4th. Her baby shower is in November in St. Louis, but I will not be able to attend. School sure does suck sometimes! She looks really cute pregnant.
Chris, my brother, is having a really tough time. He no longer wants to go to school, church, out to eat or basically anything. We keep trying to adjust his medications but nothing seems to be working. I am getting a little worried about it but I haven't told mom that. I did tell her that I didn't know if he would ever be the same Chris that we have always known. Isn't that just sad? How things change? We are still trying but I think prayers are needed.
I can't wait to see you! I have missed you more than you know. I am so bad at writing letters. Forgive me. I just know I will cry when I see you. Just like I did when you left. It is hard that I can't just pick up the phone and call you when I am down or just want to share something with you. So I can't wait to do that over the Christmas break!
I have to go write a boring paper now. Hang in there! You are making a difference over there. You have to believe that. This is a wonderful experience for you and you are learning far more than can be learned in a classroom!
Take care!
I will see you soon! It is just around the corner!
I love you so much!
Shana
Hugs For You
Sweet Amber,
As I read the stories you shared, I couldn't help the tears that well up in my own eyes.
I just wanted to send you a HUG, and let you know that we love and miss you greatly.
HUG HUG HUG
Love,
Annette