Trip Start Aug 23, 1996
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of United Kingdom  ,
Saturday, February 9, 2008

It had been a while since we had had an English, and as my birthday was coming up fast, doing an English was going to have to be the way this time.
Over the years, I've celebrated it in different ways. The two that I really remember are the one in the Heinekin Brewery where they gave me a stein with happy birthday on it, and a couple of years ago when we caught a third class train from Ahmadabad to Mumbai. Fuck that was fun. This year was going to be different, and it was down to what you know, not who you know, so I wangled an early entrance into Stonehenge complete with the freedom to walk around the hallowed stones.
As we drove down the A303, the fog started to get thicker, and by the time we arrived, the henge was nowhere to be seen. As we had invites, we were allowed into the carpark. We were given a rundown of the rules which included no cremations or marriages! As I'm allergic to both, the guard was happy with our answer, and we were allowed in.
Normally, you are not allowed to cross the rope, we did. There was one other couple in there, so we sat back and watched the sun rise. Actually, it was bloody freezing, 0 degrees !!! Walking around the stones was so much better than I have done before. You get such a better idea of how big they are, you could even see how the summer sun comes through from the heelstone and into the henge. Eventually, another couple arrived. For sixty minutes, we were in there alone, and at nine, it was time to leave as the tourist gates were open. Fuck it was good, no it was great. Better than even I believed it would be
Hungry for brunch, we drove through the countryside until we hit Devizies. It's a pretty little town and in the old stables which became the old cheese market which became the new market, we found a cafe and settled down for an English breakfast. The woman asked us what we want, heard our accents and said, your not from around here are you !!! Quick down here. Actually, she picked us as Aussies, she also seemed to know everbody in town, and just like a scene out of Jam and Jerusalam she asked everyone if they were coming around her place for a pork spit roast !!! I asked her what was so special about hers, and she said once you've had one of mine, you would forever be coming back for more !!! I was very interested, but we were in the right place at the wrong time. Just outside was a series of locks. I've seen a few in my time, but never so many. Seeing the height difference and how the locks would bring down the boats was amazing.
Another Roman town, as we all know from a previous history lesson. We came here not to see this, but an old Megalythic mound, which had been changed into an amphitheatre by the Romans, and after, they let public hangings take place. Didn't really know what to expect, but there was a huge grass mound in the shape of an amphitheatre. It was ok, but not very special. I think the best thing about it was that there were kids running around everywhere.
Cerne Abbas
About ten miles away is the village of Cerne Abbas. I have been wanting to come here for years as there is a huge giant etched into the chalk hillside. They say if you sit on it there is a chance that you will get pregnant, and never having had a dick around my ass, this could be a first !!!
We parked at the carpark, as this was the best viewpoint, and it looked impressive. Next to it, you still make out the large Homer Simpson which had been placed there for the release of the Simpson movie. On the notice board, I also read that due to errosion, we would not be able to climb onto that big dick. This meant that there was no way Lucy was going to get pregnant, and I was going to keep my virginity !!! We climbed up beside it to try and see the giant, but you couldn't really make it out so we climbed back into the car and headed home.
To finally finish off the English day, we hit the pub before dinner. I would like to report that we drank English beer, but Lucy had strawberry and I drank Czech, but eating, fish & chips was the only way to go !!!
And Finally
It had been a great English birthday, especially the Stonehenge experience, but I am slightly worried about the cholestral that I have pumped through my veins !!!


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