The Mother of all Mothers

Trip Start Aug 23, 1996
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Tunisia  ,
Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Woke up this morning from the strangest dream
I was in the biggest army, the world has ever seen
We were marching as one
On the road to the holy grail

One day, when there is one guy in charge of the world, he is going to ask all the fuckwits to step forward. Trust me, I will be the first.

Realising I had made a schoolboy error, we had a day up our sleeve, so we really didn't need to rush down to Djerba, so we made the decision to go backwards. We found a louage, waited for it to fill up with Izzy lovers. Whilst waiting, I put down two Capusins, and then we were on our way. Our man was the bitch of all drivers. It wasn't long before we were there. Jumped out, through the laneways, and there it was, the Mother of all Mothers. The El Jem Coloseum. Admittingly, this is the third largest in the Roman world, but out of all the ones we have been to, this is the best. Shits all over Rome. Fuck me, as I have written in numerous stories before, that place is a dump. This is the dog's bollocks. In we went. Climbed the stairs to the top and took the photos. This time, there was nobody inside. Maybe because it is January, there were no coach loads of French tourists. It was so serene. We just walked around liked we owned the joint. A few tourists came and went who were on private tours, but we could handle them. Up and down, round and round, climbing all over this monstrous Coloseum that makes this UNESCO site. We even had time to do part of the scene from The Life Of Brian. "I want to be known as Loretta. It is my right as a woman, blah, blah, blah"!!! Then I went down and took centre stage, whilst Lucy became one of the 30000 watching me. The accoustics are amazing, so I did what I had come here to do. I gave everyone there, a rendition of The Holy Grail by the Hunters and Collectors. People were cheering, but I only gave the one number, and then moved on. We went down into the dungeons where they use to hold the slaves and animals. It is so complete. This place is awesome. After a couple of hours, it was time to move on. We both know, this won't be the last Roman ruin we will ever see, but as far as Coloseums go, it will be hard to beat this.

I've followed orders, god knows where I've been
But I woke up alone, all my wounds were clean
I'm still here
I'm still a fool for the holy grail

Back to the louage gare, we found our new bitch and waited for the van to fill up with more Izzy lovers. In between waiting, I manage to put down another two Capusins. Somehow, our man oversold the seats, so a little argument unfolded. A few push and shoves happened, and then we were on our way back to the gare in Sfax. Once there, back into the crowd we went.

Gabsa, Gabsa Gabsa. Sousse, Sousse, Sousse. Djerba, Djerba, Djerba. That man was our new bitch. We dumped our bags, bought some tickets, and celebrated in the only way how that I knew. Two Capusins. We sat for quite a while. We needed one Izzy lover, but we couldn't find one. Eventually, the other Izzys lost it. They started screaming at the driver. It looked like it was going to kick off, so I followed them out to the ticket office. The driver came up to me and started speaking French to me. I had know idea what he was going on about, well one piece. The bit about needing one person. Around 15 minutes later, the Police brought over an Izzy lover to us, and we were on our way.

A couple of hours later, we stopped. I joined in with the Izzy lovers and had another Capusin. I jumped back into the louage, and yesterday, I now realised I was full of shit. I was wired, and I do mean wired. I tried closing my eyes, and shapes and colours were flying everywhere. I have become addicted to this shit. I am scared of going cold turkey, so I'm just going to keep pouring it down, until my blood is filled with Capusin !!! We dumped one Izzy lover off in Gabes, and another jumped in. A couple of hours later, we arrived at the ferry terminal that would take us over to the island of Djerba. Whist waiting for the car ferry to start, a pod of dolphins came swimming around us. All the Izzy lovers came running over, and I swear I heard one say, " Mmmmmm, look at that Ton (tuna)"!!! Maybe it was the Capusin, but I don't believe that for a minute !!!

So now we are in Djerba. We will be here for a couple of days before we make the big move over to Libya

Capusins drunk - 7

Capusins total - 9


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