The Very First
Trip Start
Aug 23, 1996
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Ongoing
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Dhaka,
Bangladesh
Saturday, April 15, 2006
And we need a new team to massacre
But the question is
Who is left on the list
Because we're up against some other team you know
This is Bangladesh you know
And if we are beaten, I'm going to have to get pissed !!!
A 05:00 start was heavy, especially when you don't get the breakfast you wanted, and as this was the last morning in India, I remained calm !!! We found the bus, jumped on board and we were away. Three hours later, we were at the border and handing over our passports. After the Indian border guard had written a couple of essays, we were allowed through, into Bangers. This side was different. As we were Westerners, we were waved straight through and out the otherside. We jumped on our coach and six hours later, we were in Dhaka.
It felt like Pakistan. Everytime we stopped, people would mill around. In thirty seconds, we had at least 40 people !!! We couldn't find our hotel. We grabbed a prickshaw and tried to negotiate a price. He was a sleazy fucker. Luckily for him, Banger prickshaws have cages protecting him from people like me, so he managed to escape without a finger being laid on him !!! The next one's price was ok, so, somehow, he found our hotel.
Dhaka is very polluted. How unusual for the Sub-Continent !!!
Day 1
A knock on the door in the morning, meant our mate Andrew had arrived. We had breakfast and then we left as we had a date with the cricket as Australia were playing the Bangers team. A bus got us there quickly, a ticket was bought and in we went. We lost the toss, hopefully the only thing !!! Bangers started out fast. This was not meant to be happening. We were not bowling well. The Mullet came on and picked up the first wicket. Thank god for that. Every half an hour, the crowd would start yelling, then we realised that there was a streaker in the crowd. A local girl kept taking her scarf off of her head and teasing the locals. Flirt !!!
Day two
And eventually, we claimed all of the Bangers wickets, with McGill claiming a career best 8-108, but they did make 427. Amazingly, from what was a placid batsmen's paradise sort of a pitch, the ball was suddenly keeping low and turning at right angles. And then the wickets started to fall. There we were, sitting like stunned mullets. We were 6-90, before Gilchrist and Lee putting on a 50 partnership and at the end of the day, they were still there with Gilchrist sitting on 50 not out. One other thing that did happen, Andrew and I went for lunch, and as we left the stadium, the Forrest Gump effect happened to us. As we walked, a crowd built up behind us. What started out as a few, ended up with a couple of hundred. They were that close, it felt like they were going up the poo brown highway !!!
Day 3
So Lee went pretty quickly, which brought out the Mullet. Gillespie, is actually a brick wall who can play few shots, so him and Gilchrist set about getting us past 228, so at least the Bangers would have to bat again. After a 50 partnership, the Mullet was bowled. A quick 30 odd between Clark and Gilchrist, with Gilchrist scoring them all from four sixes and the rest in fours and singles, and once Clark was gone, Gilchrist holed out for 144. All out for 269. We were behind, and then when we came out to bowl, the Bangers smashed us all over the park. Once the 50 came up, we started to pull out a few wickets. One to Lee, Clark, McGill and a runout pitched in, left the Bangers at 5 down overnight with a lead of around 280ish. So hopefully, day 4 (who ever thought this test would get this far !!!) will start to see a victor emerge. But as we walked out, we came across a Porsche. Inside was a Cricket Australia Official. Perhaps, a little to much over indulgence !!!
Day 4
So, from 5-124, the Bangers quickly collapsed. The Mullet, in the second over of the match, with his first ball, up rooted the off stump. We were on our way. Bangers were all out for 148, a lead of 306. Was I confident, well, Australia never chase well, so no is the answer to that question. !!! We started well, and after 60ish runs, we lost Hussey. Ponting and Hayden put on over 100 before, Hayden ran himself out. Martin and Clarke went very cheaply, which left Ponting and Gilchrist at the end of the day. 95 needed, with a low turning wicket, the game is poised and there is a 50/50 outcome. Hopefully, our boys will come through. On a lighter note, Andrew finally died today. Not feeling well, during the morning session, he realised he was going to vomit, he made a run for the exit. I arrived a couple of minutes later, and he was down on all fours, praying to Mecca. Being a fuckwit, I left my camera with Lucy, so I have no shots. I gave him some water and left him as I had cricket to watch. He came back around 1/2 an hour later with an escort in tow. Then three doctors arrived. They wanted to take him away. Being an Aussie, he told them that he wanted to be left alone to die. He didn't see much cricket as he slept most of the day. Hopefully, he will be right tomorrow !!!
Day 5
Needing only 95 with 6 wickets in hand, realistically shouldn't be a big ask, but then again, our last two batsmen were in. Gilchrist didn't last long. Warne came and went, so once again, I resorted to biting my nails to the bone. Ponting and Lee pulled it to within around 30, before Lee made the long walk back. Ponting made it to 97, before he decided to sky a pull shot. As I nibbled on my bones, the Bangers fieldsman dropped the easy catch. Ponting went onto his hundred a couple of balls later. Thankfully, The Mullet and Ponting saw us home. And that was the end of a test that we definitely made hard work out of.
The Aussie High Commission was throwing a barbeque at a huge cost, so we decided to front up. As I can't drink, I knew it was going to be an exciting night for me. We were armed with another four Aussies from our hotel, so we grabbed two taxis and headed off into the gridlocked traffic of Dhaka. Once there, it was happy hour, the lemonade was flowing, and then the food came out. Whilst eating, around half of the Australian squad turned up. It was great talking to the Mullet, but I never did get to ask Gillespie why he had cut the mullet off !!! And some of us have demons in the closet. Lucy has always stated that she used to pack shelves with Adam Gilchrist in Coles in Chatswood. After a few beers, we found him and she asked the did you work question, he sat back and said yes. He didn't remember her, but he remembered one of her friends and the things they got up to. He seemed pretty genuine, so we now both have links to Australian cricket captains !!! Andrew, on the other hand, reckoned his brother-in-law, used to sit next to Stuart McGill at school, but he wouldn't say anything, so I asked him if he went to some school and he said yes, then Andrew asked him the question, and the answer was yes !!! They had a quick talk before we stalked one more person. The legendest legend of them all was there and I had to have a photo. Wasim Akram. The man is a dead set fucking legend and he was way cool to talk to. As the night rolled on, Lucy was getting pretty shitfaced. By two, I managed to coax Andrew and Lucy into leaving. We jumped into a cycle rickshaw, then we jumped into a taxi. Amazingly, Dhaka has no traffic at this time of the morning
And then there was the hangover. Well, not for me, as I had a beer and then drank lemonade and water all night, but Lucy had a screamer !!! Around 11:00, she got out of bed, Andrew had already gone out, and as it is Bangers New Years, she got ready and we went for a walk. We found a park and had a walk around. Loads of people were milling. So we took it in. Being the only Westerners there, we attracted a crowd, anytime we stopped for less than 5 seconds. Eventually, I found a cricket match and asked for the ball. Immediately, the call went out, Bangers V Aus. Third ball, bowwled. New batsman. Second ball, edge, caught behind. Fuck Lee, the Mullet and Clark, I should be bowling for the Aus !!! After four wickets, they wouldn't give me the ball !!! So we continued walking, giving autographs, having photos taken, and generally being superstars !!! For a city of 14 million, they were all hanging out here. And as the day ended, we realised that it was time to move on. The Second Test was starting in Chittagong on Sunday, and we aim to be there.
Overall, Dhaka is a huge place which is heavily polluted. There are loads of homeless people here, and a huge gap between the rich and the poor. The people are nice like the Pakistanis, but the food is shit, unlike Pakistan. Hopefully, we will see an improvement in Chittagong.
