Finally, It Happened !!!
Trip Start
Aug 23, 1996
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241
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Trip End
Ongoing
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Udaipur,
India
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Our train was waiting for us at the station, and with an hour to go, we boarded it. Luckily, we did, because it was already half full, but nobody was on our bed. We realised there and then, that Udaipur was a popular place. The train that we were on was more up market as well, hence the little more expense on the ticket price. However, it still did not stop the concerto of snorers that were on the train. I really must find some ear plugs.
Getting Closer
Once there, we found our prickshaw driver, and he dropped us off at our hotel. We ordered some breakfast and was joined by three girls who were on their gap year. They explained that Udaipur was REALLY easy to get stuck. We could only wait and see. After brekkie, the room we were offered, was pathetically small, so we moved to another hotel. Nicer lake views, and cheaper price. We were closer to Octopussy's palace, and as we could not afford to stay or eat there, we wanted to be as close as possible, so at least we could smell it. We sat there, most of the day, there was no noise. This was the quietest Australia Day I had seen in a long time. Eventually, we went for a walk and noticed that most of the shops were closed as well. We asked if they were closed due to this being Australia Day, but they said no, as today was Independence Day. I found this strange as I always believed this to be the 14th of August. So, we went back, sat on the veranda, drinking chai, watching the sun go down. This is the life.
And Closer
We tried to do something the next day, but all we did was sit on a roof top with the Gap Year Girls and another English girl and an Aussie guy, drinking chai again. It really is hard to drag yourself away, those Gap Yearers were so right !!! But we did manage one thing. Udaipur was where Octopussy was filmed, well at least the Indian part, so practically every restaurant plays it. So we sat and watched it, and fuck me, that really is one terribly made movie !!!
Getting Nearer
Well, we managed to go for another walk today. We walked all the way to the bottom of the town until we came to a gate, with the usual war elephant spikes. Trust me, they do not excite me anymore. We also managed to find the Tourist Information. He gave me a map, and a book. He was so excited as we were the first people in for over two weeks !!! So we ran away, and went up to see the palace. Entrance fees were disgusting for a camera, so we used it anyway. There was some really nice parts, including a room full of the evil demon god Ganesh. They had a set made up of cricketers. I asked the price and ran away screaming. Fuck me, they were a rip off !!! Once we had finished, we went back to lazing on a rooftop with the Gap Year Girls. They were all packed up and moving on, so we gave them an Aussie guys email address, as I figured that if they could get any bit of Australian into them, it could only be a good thing !!! Breaking away from the roof, we went to another roof and ordered dinner. The size of the portion was a joke. So I told them to either fill the fucking bowls up, or we are out of here. They offered to fill all, except the rice. So I told them to fuck off and to jam the food up their fucking asses. We got what we wanted. But, if you are ever in Udaipur, do not eat at Maxim's as they are sleazy fuckers. We went back and said goodbye to the Gap Yearers. Who knows, and this is India, we most probably will see them again !!!
Not Yet, But Soon
As we have been a pair of lazy fuckers, we grabbed a prickshaw in the morning and jumped on a bus that was going to Ranakpur. There is one of the largest Jain Temples in India here. And remember, it is Jain and not Yarney !!! Three hours later, after going through lovely countryside and over some hairy mountains, we arrived. As it still was not 12, and we are not Jains, it was not open to us, so we had a Jain lunch, which was good and fucking cheap. We finished and then went in the first temple. It was small and similar in appearance to the Khajuraho temples, but without the eroticness. There were a few grabbing of the tit, but that was all. Also, the whole temple was made out of finely cut marble. It was very impressive, so we moved onto the Mother of all Jain Temples, and fuck me, it was big. Completely made of white marble, with loads of sculptures all over it. So much more impressive than any other Jain temple I have ever seen. Considering that there are over one billion people in this country, and there are only 8 million Jain followers in India, which means, less than one percent of the population, they must really love their religion !!! Also, I personally feel, that out of all the religious temples that we have visited so far in India, the Jains, shit all over everyone else's temples.
Just About There
It was getting harder to find new things to do, but we just couldn't drag ourselves away, so we went for another huge walk of the city and the surrounding areas. Somehow, we found ourselves at the train station, so we booked some tickets to leave this place. On the way back, we went back to the city palace, entered the grounds, and had a walk through them. The whole palace complex has now been turned into a set of hotels. Outside, they look like shit, inside, they looked much nicer. We even found Shiv Niwas, the hotel that James Bond was booked into when he was in Octopussy. We found the pool, but we could not find the room that he played backgammon with the evil Kamal Khan. We soon bored of this, so we went down to the water and jumped onto a boat for a tour of the lake. We got closer to the Lake Palace, and were kicked out at Jagmandir Island Palace. During the filming of Octopussy, they combined this palace and the Lake Palace for Octopussy's lair. Exciting !!! We were allowed half an hour on the island, but after 20 minutes, the boat wanted to go. A quick, either you stay put, or it will be the last fucking thing you ever do to the captain, and he decided to stay. Realistically, 20 minutes was enough, but we had paid for half an hour, so we were going to get half an hour !!! Which we did.
This Is The Moment
There was still more things to see, well mainly, afternoon tea at one of the posh hotels. So we booked it and up we went. Normally, to get into the grounds, they make you pay an entrance fee, and Lucy was not going to have this, so once at the gate, they asked us to pay. Lucy wouldn't let me say "fuck off idiot", so she said it herself, which then brought management into the conversation, to which she said fuck off idiot as well !!! Because of this, we got in for free !!! We had afternoon tea. It was crap. We walked out, and on the way back to our hotel, some fucker grabbed her ass. She hit him, and then I thought fuck that, so I hit him as well. Only on the arm, school boy error that, but fuck he rocked back when I hit him. The local Indian asked what had happened, and we explained, and they told me to hit more times and this time in the head !!! Being a pacifist, I declined !!!
There You Go, I Did It !!!
As it was also our last evening, we went back to the palace that night as there was an English company doing a Mid Summer Night's Dream. There were only 10 people doing all the parts, but it was very enjoyable. It rounded off a great time in Udaipur
We both really enjoyed our finale to Rajasthan. Admittingly, we got trapped, but fuck, we don't have to work, do we !!!
