Red Red Wiiiiiiiine

Trip Start Aug 23, 1996
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Iran  ,
Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Finally, we managed to escape the institution that was Amir Kabir Hostel. Vowing never, yes never to return !!! We had purchased our tickets and we were on our way to the home of the red wine that is know as Shiraz !!! Amazingly, I managed to make another mate on the bus. Not being very popular in either Australia or the UK, the Iranians love me. A man walked up to me at our dedicated lunch stop and invited us to lunch. Lucy and I being very tight and were never going to buy lunch, did refuse, but my stomach got the better of us so we accepted another freebie. I did offer him some money, but hew would not accept it. Lunch was ok, and we found out that he worked for the President of Iran. Fuck I meet the right people. He told us about him and then it was time to get back on the bus and head to Shiraz. Upon arrival at the terminal, he made us get in his cab, and he took us into the city. He paid of course and as a final gift, he invited us to his place which was 150 K's south. He wanted us to come and drink beer and wine !!! Being on a non alcohol diet, we took his email and number and told him we would think about it.

Once we found the hotel, the receptionist did his job and asked, "Passport Police". Lucy did not get it. She wanted to know why he wanted the passport police here. I explained that he meant Persopolis !!! Realistically though, there is not much to Shiraz. We hit the Arg, more commonly known as a fort in this Extremist country. It is empty in side, bar a few rooms. One had a good photo display of old Shiraz. One of the turrets was leaning pretty heavily though. Similar to the old Leaning Tower of Pisa !!! The bazaar was good, most probably the best we have been in so far. Loads of locals milling about the place buying all their goods. One main thing that we did notice was that in Esfahan, we were running out of toothpaste and we could not buy any, but in Shiraz, it was everywhere. Shiraz teeth good, Esfahan teeth bad !!! We walked around until we came to the usual Jameh Mosque. As usual, it was quite colourful. We moved on and found the usual mausoleum which was covered in mirrors everywhere. This time, Lucy had to wear a chador and there was also a singer singing all of the Extremists favourites. Apparently, it was one of the Imam's birthdays, so there was a huge gathering. Being good Extremists, they started to pass cakes around, and being the only Infidels, we were invited to feast on cake. These guys were going to go to paradise !!! The day was closing fast, so we made our way to the local travel agent and booked a trip to see the Passport Police. The premier ruins of this Extremist country

Up bright and early, we were on the bus at 08:00 and away we went. First stop was to see some tombs. The bus was full of Extremists and Infidels, this was going to be a good day. Along the way, the guide told us that today, we were going to learn that Shiraz was the greatest city in the world. Obviously he had never been out of his own country as we all know that this title belongs to Skopje !!! We arrived at the tombs at Naqsh-E Rostam. They were very impressive and similar to the carvings at Petra. There were also some rock carvings underneath them, plus an old tower. The guide was doing his guidey type job, he had the Infidels on his own and he had managed to fob the Extremists to someone else. Then it happened. His phone rang, and he trailed off and was more interested in his phone. He stopped and then a text came through, then another call. I was getting agitated. No. I was getting FUCKING agitated. We finished the tombs and took some photos. It was then I thought it was best to have some words. I said, look sunshine, either you turn that fucking phone off or I am going to ram it up your fucking arse !!! He said he did not understand. So with hand movements, showing him where I would jam his phone, he reluctantly turned it off. We both smiled and went on our way ! We moved onto Persopolis. At one stage, it was the biggest city in the world. A lot of it is wrecked, but it is still very impressive. The reliefs were unbelievable. I have even worked out why all these gay (and I mean every man in this line) Extremists hold hands. On the reliefs, it shows them holding hands !!! Maybe they are not gay and I am holding something inside. But being an Infidel, there is no way I am going to hold another guys hands !!! The site is good, we took loads of photos and it was time to move on. The guide turned on his mobile phone, and we were all happy again.

That was Shiraz, over and done with. We went to buy a bus ticket as we wanted to go to Yazd, but we were unable to get one, so we are going back to Esfahan, and I can tell you this, there is no fucking way, I am going to stay at the Amir Kabir Hostel again !!!

Infidels seen - Fucking Shitloads
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