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Trip Start May 18, 2008
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Trip End Jun 16, 2008


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Flag of United States  , New York,
Wednesday, April 23, 2008

the first step of my journey. the origin. the place where my heart splintered from my mind in pursuit of a success dictated only by the constructs of society and my own intellect. i am home to locate my former self in that moment of separation so i can rebuild. but also i return in order to remember.

my bedroom window overlooks a bay aptly named Conscience Bay. its waters a small microcosm for the sound it leads out to, and the ocean beyond that. i stopped playing on this beach in grade school. [was that the moment?] today, it was low tide. i walked to the edge and stood. my orange manicured toenails looking woefully out of place. large boulders, permanent reminders of a slow moving glacial force, still stand. there were egrets, and a quarter mile away, a lone swan. its presence comforted me - the bay wouldn't be the same without some angry swans. i could taste the salt in the wind. i headed upwards to leave until a boulder beckoned me.

as i sat perched, the swan moved towards me until it reached my line of sight. it lingered, and there existed then a union between man and animal. after this prolonged moment, without moving away, it kept looking back archly, as if to say, why are you still here. this is silly, i thought - attempting communion with a swan, grasping to find symbolism amidst the chaos and coincidence of nature. but only when i rose to leave, did it swim away purposefully, and for the first time, against the tide.

i am in the right place. i am home.
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