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  Dahab, Egypt
Thursday, June 2, 2005

I'm seriously considering a slight format change to my blogs and perhaps some may become perplexed by it, so I thought I'd throw out there my often strange train of thought. For the most part, I've been a bit well, conservative in my blogs. I try to incorporate really fun and quirky stories that are all very true that everyone can have a good smile at. But one thing missing from my blogs are some of my true emotions and innermost thoughts. I haven't been keeping a journal and these blogs are my journal for the most part. Only my deep thoughts and frustrations and emotions are emailed to my mom and to Vanessa. So, there are some things I have not been completey forthcoming about and it will probably take some time for me to do so as some of those on the receiving end of these blogs are only slight acquantainces, others good friends, and still others a potentially disapproving parent (by the way: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!). But in a few years or a few decades, I will only have these blogs and my photos to share with loved ones and to remind myself of the various roads that I chose to follow at one time or another. Thus, I should not be afraid to put raw emotion and feelings out there for all the world to see (it comes from my "issue" of being overly concerned with what others think of me...something I constantly battle and am trying to work on).

This strange little blog here came about from the writings of a truly tremendous gal that I have never met but through our few email exchanges. I came across her blogs here on travelpod and read every single word that she wrote and relished in her adventures as well as her mishaps, as they were all things I could relate to. If you are interested, you can look her up under her username: whereshegoes, and read her travels that took her all over the world. Only today I received the email alert for her newest log that begins with her return home to Canada after a more than 3 year hiatus. Below is what I wrote to Carmella:

"I'm still enthusiastically reading your blogs. I think it's great that you're continuing the process even after having returned 'home.' These travels do have a tremendous impact on our lives and do not simply end upon returning back to where we consider home to be. We are, in fact, forever changed by these experiences whether it was a two week jaunt somewhere or a three year journey. I can relate to every word that you write b/c it's usually exactly how I have felt at some point.

I ask myself continuously what my purpose is for traveling and the answer is always different: an escape mechanism, a means to learn a new language and about a different way of life, to convince myself that "there" is always better than "here", to find myself... But I find that instead of answering questions...my travels only bring about more."

Ok, so what I'm trying to say rather loqaciously is: don't be shocked if I begin to relate very personal information here. I have tried to sugar coat the blogs to make them fun and light-hearted. But know that traveling and living in a foreign land is not always easy and it is NOT a perpetual vacation. Those who've mainly made 2 week vacations to lovely tropical locations may not be able to relate and hey, may not even care! But living somewhere and trying to integrate into a completely different way of life is taxing and can even bring about tears at times. But I do believe that in the end, it is all worth it to those of us that have been blessed? cursed? with wanderlust.

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