Continental Breakfast

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Flag of United States  , Alabama
Thursday, November 5, 2009

Since nothing too terribly exciting happened while in Birmingham, AL, I'm going to take this time to talk a little bit about Continental Breakfasts.

One of my favorite exchanges in a movie is from Tombstone when Wyatt Earp asks Josephine "What's your idea of heaven?" and she responds "Room Service". I still love that and think it's quite true... but there is a vast chasm between Room Service and the Continental Breakfast.

For someone who's life is on the road, and is required to eat out for almost every meal, the idea of the continental breakfast is quite appealing. It's free, and it's right there at your hotel. It should be almost like eating at home... but it's not. Continental breakfast has come to be the equivalent of school or prison breakfast, but without the fake eggs.

Every morning I drag myself to the hotel of the day's lobby, hoping to see something new. And almost every morning I am disappointed. I see the same spread, regardless of hotel brand. There's the selection of dry cereal. Often only two kinds, and usually that's one of the following: Raisin Bran, Frosted Flakes, Corn Flakes, or Fruit Loops. Next to this is the instant oatmeal, usually plain, occasionally someone will spice it up with a variety pack, but not often. This is followed by the bin of carbs: slices of wonder bread, plain bagels, and sometimes stale donuts. We've stumbled upon 2 hotels with Dunkin' Donuts donuts, and that was exciting. If you're lucky, these items will be followed by one or more of following: tiny yogurt packets, waffle maker, fruit bin. Originally, the waffle maker was exciting... but there's usually something called "breakfast syrup" instead of maple syrup and trust me after a week of waffles, you're more than over it. Now the fruit bin is what holds my wonder, if it exists that morning. I long for a green apple or appropriately ripe banana. Sadly, they are usually soft red mealy apples or maybe brown bananas... again, if they actually have fruit that morning.

I am over my daily ration of bread line breakfast. I need more. I love breakfast too much.

Oh, how I long for eggs. Real scrambled eggs. And bacon. And homefries...
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