Where Marina asks a security guard if he wants

Trip Start Mar 17, 2007
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Cayman Islands  ,
Thursday, June 21, 2007

... to use her vibrator. I did!

We are flying to Little Cayman. Checking out of the hotel we discover a: service charge + taxes (weird on a tax free island) adding up to 25 percent!

Airport. Check in. The ground hostess says I look like Sharon Stone on my passport picture (short blond hair, I had that remark a couple of times, back then, should I cut it short and blond it???) Any fluids? Yes, a lot. We show her our carry on luggage. She starts laughing and says: 'no, sw..theart, no way, sw..theart, do not think about it, sw..theart. She says: 'put it in your check in luggage.'  Noooo, a bottle of wine, coke, energy drink and water bursting between my clothes??? We set up a hand luggage as a check in luggage, assistant by the hostess. 'No, sweatheart, take t-shirts out of your luggage and wrap then around the bottles.'

We cross our fingers and check in our bottles.

Security: we discover the rules are as severe as in the States, between Cayman and Cayman? It takes forever. Our hand luggage it put to one side and a boy is going through it. He finds: a hand lotion, a mosquito stick and a nose spray in my hand luggage. I put it in a (USA approved) plastic, small, zipped bag. He says 'no.' We start explaining: approved by USA security laws, ... . Dr T says: your paper says 8 by 8 inch, this is smaller, sealed. Still: 'no'. Dr T's luggage. He finds a SMALL toothpaste in my dive log (toothpaste is used to stop the fogging of the diving masks, did you know that?) But the boy is NOT happy with finding the toothpaste. He is on a mission. You have to know: Dr T's bag is the high tech bag. His laptop. ALL the electronics in a very nice case. The security papers. And my precious dive log.  Dr T whispers: 'your vibrator'. Yup, I see it coming, with half of the airport as a witness ... .  And indeed, the electronic bag is searched.  AND HE TAKES MY VIBRATOR OUT. HE FUCKING TAKES MY VIBRATOR IN HIS HANDS. And, yes, I flip. If half of the airport sees it, everybody can see it. I ask: 'and would you like to use it?' Apparently not.
Dr T sits down, I go shopping. Again, in a country without taxes I cannot buy tax free in the airport.
We wait. And wait. We sit in front of our gate. There is NO departure time on the gate. A worry. We hear an announcement: Little Cayman  murmur, flight, murmur, gate something, you know how clear those things are. Dr T asks: 'when do we leave?' I say we should already left. He gets up and asks someone, comes and gets me and we RUN to a plane. This was the last call! WHAT? The gate still does not have a departure time, it is not open and this is the last call. Well, yes, it is another gate (signposted Miami) and everybody for Little Cayman went through there! We get dirty looks on the plane.
Say goodbye to the island. What do you think of the plane, captain G and W?
The rest is uneventful. We arrive and wait for our pick up, together with 2 lesbians. There is only 1 check in on the island, where ever you stay. The lesbians are in front of us. I remember because one slaps the door RIGHT into my face. We are taken to our 'house'.
I am speechless. Check it out: 2,5 bathrooms, 2 bedrooms, FULL kitchen (inclusive dishwasher, washing machine and dryer), 2 terraces,... 
My enthusiasm goes down a bit when we go and sign up for the dives. I saw the floor from the beginning: 'condo with diving package', which means: your diving is paid for, NOT renting the gear. Since you cannot shop around anymore, they can charge you whatever they want for the rental. And they do. Shameless. 86 euro per day. This is more than we paid for diving AND gear in Honduras. But: no choice: you paid for the diving already, so you pay whatever they charge for the rental.
We have a free drink in the bar. Our condo is located 5 minutes biking from the reception. There are no taxis on the island but there are free bikes. Little Cayman is only 20 by 2 kms. Dr T took a tandem to the reception: I am terrified! Hubby notices the price of a beer at the bar: 6 Euro!!! I am talking Euro, the Cayman Dollar is closer to the Euro than to the $. We winch about not having internet and go shopping. SHOCKING. 5 Euro for a SMALL bread. 1 Euro for an onions!!!!
At home, I make ratatouille and we watch Shrek 3. Oooooh. Hubby bought an illegal copy in ? Belize. He normally does not do this. He likes to be paid for his work and pays others too.
Bedtime: tomorrow diving, wait and see.
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