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My first Week of being a Sticky Sweaty MESS
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After a very dull flight from Hong Kong, i arrived in Thailand in the evening and was somewhat overwhelmed by the heat. A wooly dress, leggings and jacket are simply not right for the Thai weather - very hot and humid. I met Mike at the airport (a somewhat surreal experience) and we hopped in an illegal taxi which took us to the famous backpackers paradise, Koa San Road. An excellent start - the taxi driver offered to take us to ladyboy shows and various bars and then blasted out some linkin park. And sang along. I could tell this was going to be a fun place.
After weaving our way through the millions of people drinking and eating on the street, we eventually found a hostel on one of the quieter streets, one road away from Koa San Road. Peaceful.. or so we thought. The karaoke bar kept going at full blast til about 3 in the morning. How pleasant. After finding the hostel and dumping our things we headed out for our first taste of Thai food. Pad Thai and mango sticky rice form one of the many moving carts that litter the streets. Delicious!
On Sunday we wandered the streets and sampled some more of the local cuisine - a Thai style spicy beef salad, tom yam koong (or something like that i cant quite remember) which is a spicy prawn soup and thai green curry with chicken. Very, very tasty, apart from its not a good idea to eat spicy food in the heat of the day. Sweat dripped from pretty much every pore and the only thing that was finished was the curry - the least spicy thing on the table. In the evening we wandered some more, and found an old Shell garage that had been turned into a bar with an enormous TV screen playing football. It had buckets of cocktails which was the attraction for me, although it was a bad idea to try the Thai Spiced Whiskey - it tasted exactly the same as Chinese wine, in other words, rank. Later on inn my search for ice cream we came across a stall that sold pancakes with banana. I was most definitely keen, and she whipped one up in front of us. The pancakes were a bit thicker than the ones i make at home - the mixture must be different as there was a stack of raw pancakes already in circular shapes. She popped it onto the hot plate with a little butter and put the banana inside. Ingenious! Best 10 Baht i ever spent. Whilst sat on the curb enjoying this culinary delight, there was also a feast for my eyes. Three boys walked past trying to sell something (they weren't the feast) and were followed by an elephant. It was crazy. They were trying to sell food for the elephant and you could put the bamboo into its trunk. Very, very strange and i watched in awe as they wandered around the street with the poor elephant.
Monday was a little more constructive - Mike and I found a hotel with a pool which stays open until 2a.m. Absolute heaven. Next we booked ourselves onto a course which we thought would take us north for a bit of hilltribe action. More about that later. After this unusually active morning we wandered through the streets and actually made it about 5 streets away from Koa San road this time, and we found ourselves a nice little dirty grotty "restaurant" in an alleyway serving only 2 dishes. I loved it. We had an omlette with mussels inside which tasted more like pancake - it was thicker and there must have been flour or some sort of thickener in there. Probably rice. I can never escape the rice. The other dish we tried was a noodle dish with dried shrimps and mussels, wrapped up in egg so when it first arrived on our table we thought it was the omlette. Another surprise lay in store as the noodles were very sweet, and a little spicy and the same time. Absolute madness! Very delicious though. Each of the dishes had raw beansprouts with them and we were also given a plate of them with raw spring onions and some sort of herb. I remembered being told not to eat raw vegetables as they are often washed in dirty water. I threw caution to the wind and tucket in. Mmm, so tasty. The whole meal cost 60 Baht, less than a pound.
After an afternoon of swimming and reading Mike and I headed back to the area where we had eaten during the day and found an outside restaurant - more like a bigger version of the moving carts where they make pad thai and what i was used to seeing in China. We sat on the plastic seats and wonky table and ordered a range of dishes. Due to a bit of a Thai-English language barrier, after waiting absolutely ages for our food (there was only one chef with about six woks and 30 customers) we were brought fried shellfish instead of the fried whole fish we wanted. So after re-ordering, we tucked into the clams which were delicious. They were followed by mixed vegetables, another kind of soup with sweet noodles and a bowl of rice each. We waited and waited for the fish, Mike in anticipation and me just hungry for some fishy as i was used to seeing a whole cooked fish on the table in China. When it did eventually arrive, it was well worth the wait. Enormous and crispy on the outisde yet tender in the middle with just the right amount of garlic, we devoured the entire thing. I made Mike eat part fo the fish eye but he chickened out a bit, refusing to eat the whole thing, retina and all. Unfortunately the head wasnt that meaty so i couldnt do an Aunty Fatima and suck all the meat off.
Tuesday was an early start - we checked out of the hotel at about 7a.m. and eagerly awaited the arrival of our tour guide to take us to the floating markets and the start of our three day cultural extravaganza. First of all, she was, of course, very late. NExt she walked us up the road to a random spot where lots of people were waiting with backpacks, stuck a pink sticker on each of us and wandered off without saying a thing. Brilliant, I thought, this is cleary very well organised. After waiting around for about twenty minutes which gave me time to buy some fresh pineapple cut into chunks we were herded into a small cramped van stuffed to full capacity with minimal air con and we were on our merry way. After a sweaty two hour journey we arrived. Not at the floating market as we were expecting, but at a cemetary for British, Australian and Kiwi prisoners of war who died whilst building the railway from Burma to Thailand. Slightly at a loss as to why we were there, we happily wandered around for twenty minutes before loading back into the van again to visit the museum to learn more about the railway construction. As it turns out, the making of the bridge over the river Kwai killed thousands of people, not only due to the slave labour conditions but also because the Allied forces bombed the famous Bridge Over The River Kwai. Pretty horrible when you read all of the facts and figures, and now there is a re-built version of the bridge serving simply as a comemmoration for all those who lost their lives. Hundreds of people were walking across the bridge which is less safe than you might think. A health and safety nightmare when you look at it in English terms - definitely would require a signature from my parents on a school trip. It provided pretty views nonetheless and it was definitely interesting to learn about the history behind it although i was still keen to get on a paddle boat and buy some fruit.
My confusion mounted as our next stop was a random train station in the middle of nowhere. We boarded the so-called "Death Railway" which actually uses some of the railway built by the prisoners of war during the second world war. It wasnt as quaint as it might sound, an old train which rattled along and reminded me of the railway children. It was cramped and very, very hot. The lack of spare seats wasnt great either. We made our way through the trees past rural scenes of wooden huts and then nice views over the river with elaborate hotels and then mountain ranges and caves. I definitely enjoyed it more once i was able to sit down, but couldnt quite bring myself to buy an egg doughnut in the heat. We got off at the final stop and were herded into the van again and driven to a floating house/hostel on the river Kwai for lunch. A very tasty lunch as it turned out: Rice, chicken and pumpkin curry, mixed veg and chicken and cauliflower. I tucked in.
After lunch we were off again, this time to a waterfall to swim. I had forgotten all about floating markets at this stage as all i wanted to do was plunge myself into some cold water. The waterfall turned out to be more of a trickle as we'd be going to the big one the next day. Mike decided to lead me across a path which wasnt actually a path, but some very slippery mud on very slippery rocks. Of course, i slipped and grazed not only my knee but also my bottom and covered myself in mud. Mike stifled laughter and i was glad i could also be of some amusement to the local teenagers who giggled at me. I felt sorry for myself and reached for an antiseptic wipe for my bleeding knee. I'm like a Brownie. Definitely always prepared! The waterfall was nice if a little muddy, and i made friends with a nice French family who happened to be staying at the same place as us for the next couple of days. All in all a good, ultra busy day and we headed back to the floating restaurant which turned out to be our home for the next couple of days. Dinner was another buffet affair with more rice, omlette on top of raw cabbage, green chicken curry with mini aubergines which were green (i appreciated this as the big aubergines make me retch), more mixed veg, and sweet and spicy vegetables. Really tasty and over dinner Mike and I got talking to a couple of Kiwi guys named Ollie and Stevie, who had very long dreadlocks which were about 10 years old. They were friendly and very funny and gave us lots of helpful hints about our travels in New Zealand, including some insight into the costs of making hte Lord of the Rings and other films shot in New Zealand. Definitely very excited to go there.
On wednesday there were no floating markets to be seen either, and the day started with a trip to the big 7 tiered waterfall named Erawan Waterfalls in the Erawan national park, North West Kanchanaburi. We were staying in Kanchanaburi which we discovered was actually west and ever so slightly north of Bankok but still nowhere near where we were expecting. It didnt matter though, as the waterfall was absolutely stunning. Mike and I walked right up to the 7th tier - a bit of an impromptu trek as we clambered over rocks, climber rickety wooden staircases and bridges and picked our way through thick tree-root and pebble ridden mud paths in only our flip flops. The sweat was definitely worth it, as the waterfall seemed to get more beautiful the higher you went. When we eventually reached the top the water was crystal clear and you could see the little fish swimming around. There were only a couple of other people there and after a bit of a namby-pamby start, Mike and I took to jumping in and braving the nibble fish who liked to try and take chunks out of your legs and feet. The scenery was so beautiful and it was like an infinity pool the way the water seemed to stop in mid air and cascaded down the rocks beneath. After a good hour swimming and exploring we made our way back down the path, I had a bit of a Bond girl moment as i trekked in my bikini and got a few stares from the locals. All very entertaining, and once at the bottom we had lunch in a small restaurant with the other people in the group. It was a special-fried-rice type affair with some small pieces of chicken placed on top, with plenty of oil. How... delicious. The fun thing was it was served to us by what seemed to be two aspiring lady boys. One of them had a femenine face and slim body but slightly broad shoulders which she more than made up for with her full face of make up, blue eyeshadow and all. Unfortunately however the other was very tall, very broad all over with a masculine face. He compensated for that with his ultra-femenine, extremely elegant gait and hairstyle. I was impressed.
After lunch we hopped back into the songthaew, a truck with two benches in the back and a bit of a lack of seat belts, and sped off towards "Tiger Temple." Having not been told about our itinerary for the day, i was forced to borrow a top from a kind Dutch lady and wrap my towel around my waist like a sarong to make myself presentable for the "temple." There wasnt actually a temple in sight, more like lots of animals such as horses, deer, hogs, and of course, tigers. The tigers were kept in an enclosure which consisted of a small blue rope and nothing else. There were about 15 of them, just lying down chained to the ground by their necks and showing absolutely no interest in the people surrounding them. The tigers are all orphans who are rescued from the wild when their mothers die or desert them, and the Buddhist monks take care of them and apparently, teach them to be compassionate and have a good heart. Personally i think the Buddhists teach them how to live a happy, drugged life. We got in line and i paid an extra fee to have the privelidge of the tigers head in my lap for a photo. A lady took me by the hand and led me to a tiger. She shoved me down behind it, and i sat cross-legged before a man picked up the tiger's head and plonked it into my hands in my lap. I was more than terrified. A live tiger was resting its head in my lap with no kind of security around, just some people in bright green t-shirts and the odd monk here and there. Brilliant. I tried to smile for the photo but all i could reall think was, AAH AAHH AAAAHAHHHHHH
Fear aside, it had a heavy head. I stroked it under the chin a bit, like i do with Dab and Shrub at home but it didnt pur. I just thought it was a good sign that it wasnt ripping into my tasty flesh. It didnt have very soft fur, and i wasnt confident enough to lean over and look at its teeth. I took for granted that they would be big. The kodak moment was over almost as soon as it had begun, and i was hauled up by my lady and it was on to the next tiger. This time i sat behind it and stroked its back. Again, not very soft. This process was repeated again and again with more tigers, and two cute tiger teenagers who showed a little more interest in me that the rest. I almost screamed and ran when one turned to look at me. The final tiger i sat with was "the big one" which wasnt chained up at all. Excellent. Safety was definitely not key for the Thai people, which leads me to believe that the tigers are most definitely on crack. Slash some sort of very strong tranquiliser, as when one of the tigers started pawing at one of the people working there, he slapped it in the head a few times and it didnt seem to care. The whole experience was over almost as soon as it had started and i was left feeling more than a little shell-shocked. It was such a surreal experience but almost sick in a way; there were so many tourists lining up to have their photo with the tigers who were clearly not right in the head. They were lying in the midday heat with no water or food (except the people). When they were led back to their cages at 4.30 we were able to walk behind them for yet another photo oppertunity. All the tigers but one were put back into their cages, and the last one which we walked with (which wasnt wearing a lead at all) was chained to the ground outside the cages whilst the rest of the animals in the park were fed, only 5 or 10 metres away. To me it was crazy that there would be over a hundred animals feeding so close to the tiger and he was showing no interest whatsoever. He merely lay on the ground and played with a plastic bottle. The other animals were interesting to look at - cows with big humps on their neck, baby boars and a peacock which kept making a horrible screeching sound. I left the park feeling a little overwhelmed and bewildered by my experience with the tigers, although i couldnt control my touristy urges and im definitely glad i can say i have held a tigers head in my lap.
Today, Thursday was another busy morning. I got up early after another rocky night on the river for a bit of elephant fun. Mike and I, and an Australian guy with his two children hopped in the truck and speeded down to the river. Mike and I shared an elephant, a big 40 year old bachelor with big tusks, which apparently they get when they're about 10. I sat on the neck of the elephant, with my legs between its ears and its head, and Mike sat behind me. A Thai guy sat on the back of the elephant and shoted directions. "BEN!" seemed to mean, "go!" "walk!" and "MORO!" meant, "dip your head in the water", which forced me to use a kind of bucking-bronko style technique and dip with it whilst keeping my head as far above water as possible, and my mouth closed. I had heard about the not-so-nice experience of getting a bit of elephant poo in your mouth, and i was conscious of where our toilets flushed their contents to on the river house. Sure enough, one of the other elephants did do a poo in the water, and it was enormous. Happily, i was the only one who didnt fall off their elephant! I stuck on Tombore (my made-up spelling) and Mike jumped on the Australian guy's 45 year old lady elephant. Well, he tried. I think he spent more time in the water than on her.
Elephants have very leathery skin, one of my pet hates for humans but i quite liked it on the elephants. They didnt seem to care that we were there at all, and quite enjoyed dunking in and out of the water. They are also surprisingly hairy. Very, very coarse hair not unlike my father's. Thick and black it is fairly sparse but im not sure what they need it for anyway. The skin on their necks is the softest i think, probably because all of all the extra skin folds, and their ears are pretty soft too. The colour of their skin was also not a light grey like the Jungle Book led me to believe, but dark grey with pink speckled ears and patches of pinkish skin every here and there.
After about fortyfive minutes in the water we drove back to the hostel for breakfast - a nice, ultra oily fried egg with three slices of cucumber (no slice of tomato like the day before though) and two slices of toast which i ate with jam and banana. I felt common but i didn't care! After brekky we all crammed into a truck and sped to the location of our bamboo-rafting and elephant jungle trek. The bamboo rafting was lovely, although the raft was somewhat precarious with creaky, weak-seeming bamboo sticks, there was a cute seating area with a little roof. I sat next to the "driver" who sat on teh right hand side and paddled us along, although i'm pretty sure the very strong current was doing more than he was. I had a go and it seemed like a piece of cake.
After such a relaxing experience it was more elephant themed fun - Mike and I had an elephant to ourselves and i sat on its neck whilst Mike sat on the seat on its back, his "throne" as he liked to call it. She was a 17 year old lady elephant, and a local Thai guy was on the ground shouting directions at it. He was 20 and had been working with the elephants for two years. He picked a few flowers and shouted instructions at the elephant who picked them up in its trunk and handed them to me. So cute! We walked past a one-month old elephant and its mother who we'd watched before. The baby was very playful, running at all of us and head-butting. Unfortunately my elephant wasn't so cute, she kept blowing water and snot out of her trunk all over my legs. Aside from the cooling factor it was a bit stinky.
The ride lasted about half an hour and was really fun. But our jam-packed morning hadn't ended yet. More history was to be had as we drove to the Hellfire PAss, an extremely deep section of the railway dug by the prisoners of war which many died making. The museum was a really lovely commemoration to all those who died, and i was struck by seeing the letter informing a wife of the death of her husband who was from Cambirdgeshire, and the diary of another describing the deaths. We walked to the pass, and it was so deep it was amazing. In the heat you got a real sense of how horrible it must have been for the poor men.
The trip ended there, as after lunch back at the river boat we headed back in a sweaty sweaty minubus to Bangkok.
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| 1. | My first Week of being a Sticky Sweaty MESS - Bangkok, Thailand Mar 20, 2008 |
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