Oh, is Your Husband Going With You?

  Medford, Oregon, United States
Friday, July 4, 2008

My Super Hero

          Every time I tell a friend (or even a student) about this trip to Greece, the very first question is always, "Oh, is Bear going with you?"  Here, then, is the answer once and for all: no.  Not even to visit. In 13 years together, we've never been apart for 95 days.

"Aren't you going to miss him?"  Um, hell yeah.

          It wasn't originally planned this way.  The original plan was that I would spend September in Greece by myself, he would come over for October, and then I would finish November by myself again, leaving us apart for no more than 30 days at a time.  But all the planning in the world cannot account for the unpredictability of real life. Due to circumstances of career and finance, he can no longer come at all.
          He doesn't want me to go.  But he also knows me so well that he understands that I have to do this, and he won't stand in my way.  Facing the thought of living alone for three months, I realize how much I've relied on him for my protection.  I feel safe walking beside a 6'4" linebacker of a man. 

Anybody wanna mess with this guy?

His mere presence is a deterrent against theft and assault.  I've also relied on him for common sense and navigation.  I don't pay attention to the location of our car in parking lots.  Or the names of the streets between here and the department store.  He takes care of that, leaving me blissfully lost in my "absent-minded professor" thoughts or engrossed in conversation or music.  Without him, I'm going to have to be more aware of my surroundings, figure out how to use the Metro system by myself, take a self defense class.  But I haven't figured out yet how to deal with learning to sleep alone, or how to feel connected with brief, expensive phone calls across a ten-hour time difference.

Tifa

          Not everybody is going to understand this, but leaving my kitties Aeris and Tifa behind is going to be equally as painful.  At least I can call and e-mail Bear.  At least Bear knows where I've gone and why.  At least Bear understands that I will return.  My animal companions are very important in my life, and I'm going to be heartsick without them.

Aeris

          When I get back from Greece, I'm looking forward to taking a special personal trip with Bear, perhaps to Mexico, which given the USD-to-Peso exchange rate would be more affordable, and given that the western coast of Mexico is just a few hours' flight from Oregon, would be a more efficient use of his vacation leave. And Aeris and Tifa will be given months and months of time to stretch out on my keyboard and purr while I sit at the computer, as one of them is doing right now.