THE UGLIEST AMERICAN: Rubble Without A Casa
Trip Start
Nov 04, 2006
1
11
15
Trip End
Dec 03, 2006
Tikal,
Guatemala
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Perry Farrell said something about not truly knowing that you are well, until something comes along to hurt you. And for me, the bitch slap that Mother Nature is often more than happy to provide can be just the thing I need to love my life more and experience the humility that so regularly eludes me
01 Morning in Tikal-Amazing
. Whether it be the power of a waterfall's hydraulic sucking me under, or a behemoth ocean wave crashing over me, or the daunting ascent of a mountain halfway up, I find time and again that these experiences and struggles help me to realize not who I am, but who I am not. Sorry to get all Confucious meets X-Games on you, but you'll never get a refund that last 30 seconds anyways, bitches.So when you last heard from moi, I was in the town of Flores drinking Gallo, the scourge of Central American brews. Flores is a tiny colonial island on a great big lake in the Peten region of Guatemala (which heretofore will be called Guate, for short). Had some bitchin grub at a local cheapie and started to drink Moza (the Shiner of Guatemala) and called it a GOOD-nite! The next day I took an hour and a half bus to Tikal.
So Tikal is basically the biggest Mayan city that is known anyway. It is only halfway excavated and it surrounded by jungle, so the wildlife is all around you. Tikal is in the middle of nowhere and there is little in the way of development for tourist infrastructure around it. There are only 3 hotels near it and they are all expensive. Prices is steep, because they know you have no other options. So, I rented a tent, and camped....Yeahhhh
02 The Hidden Temple
. Um, next to a restaurant, NNNNNOOOOOO!. It was as bad as it sounds, the clanked of glasses and people singing in the kitchen. Because of the lack of infrastructure, they actually turn off all electricity at 9pm, which worked to my advantage. So I actually hiked all of Tikal that first day in about 8 hours. You could fit about 15 Macchu Picchus inside of it. It's massive!! That day, I climbed every temple that they allow you to. No small feat. The weather was aces and the skeeters were few, very nice. Everywhere there were monkeys, birds, lizards, and something that made some crazy noises that I did not care for. Got some great pix of the ruins and the jungle. I stayed until sunset and climbed the structure known as the Great Pyramid to watch the sun set. Wished for gooch at that moment, and then started to make the 2 mile trek out of the park in the dark. Holy, it was way scarier than I had thought it would be. Solo trekking through the park at night was wicked, but I had my headlamp and umbrella for protection (?). Went to the restaurant next to my tent and drank $3 Mozas (aye caramba, but what could I do?) until I could sleep in the tent. The power went out, the last Moza was drank, and the night was chilly. Slept like ass, and was first woke up by a bunch of those German mofos walking around the grounds shouting Deustche at each other, my earplugs could not defend me from the Gerries, and then at 4:30am, the howler monkey serenade began. Sounded like I was in another world!! So I just got up, and took the world's coldest (and public) shower
03 From Temple 4
. (don't these Nazis know about shrinkage?) Then, as I had planned, I took my "sneak route" into the park in the dark of dawn to get to the top of Temple 4 by sunrise. Got about 5 minutes in before the shotgun and flashlight wielding guards busted me. People attempt this every day, so they weren't too pissed, and I actually wanted to get a picture of them but it was pretty dark. So I waited at the gate until 6am and didn't even attempt to walk 2 and a half miles to Temple 4. I ran, yes, ran to Temple 5, although the sun was already up. When I got there, well, watch the video. I was completely alone on this gigantic Mayan Temple in the middle of the jungle. Spec-flocking-tacular. Well worth the armed confrontation, rude Germans, and freezing water on my smithyriddles. The birds and monkeys were going apeshit, the mist rose from the tree canopy, and my fat ass breathed the jungle air heavily as I recovered from the steep climb. Tikal? Too cool. Spent the rest of the day retracing my steps in the city, climbing every Temple again. Met a guard on top of Temple 4 who let me go out to the scary ledge to take pictures because there were no other tourists there, this place is so high and I got to see the restoration they are doing to it. Stunning!! To cap off my immersion in all that is Mayan, I broke the rules just one last time. I climbed to the top of the rarely visited, unexcavated South Acropolis
04 The Tikal Plaza
. This is actually the largest structure in Tikal, unrestored, and completely enveloped in vegetation and trees. It basically looks like a steep forested hill, and I climbed to the highest point, there was little sign of ruins until I got to the top and saw some crumbling stone work, if you didn't know where you were, you would've never thought you were on top of this huge man-made pyramid. The summit was tiny, but as I descended, all became clear and I began to see walls, and stonework. The structure began to take shape around me. It looked SO different than all of the restored Temples, but 20 times cooler because it has been reclaimed by the jungle, and I got to see something that Joe Tourist does not. This was easily the high point of my Tikal trip. The best part is that at the top, I almost ran into this big assed spider that freaked me out enough to bat at my head frantically every time I walked through the many webs on my way down. Watch the video.I ate lunch outside the park and took a bus back to Flores where I am now. I will be taking a grueling 11 hour bus trip back to Antigua at 10pm tonight. I will finally be able to drink that cup of coffee that has eluded me these last 3 weeks. I have not slept in a bed in two days, but don't cry for me. My bus leaves here in 3 hours so I've decided to drink Mozas until I pass out on the bus. I have much to give thanks for on Thanksgiving, I have a cold beer in front of me, I'm watching the sun set over the lake, and I got to explore a Mayan City. I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. I give thanks for my great friends, my life, and my Anna. And apparently, for Subway.
Peace Love and Save a Brother a Drumstick,
TT
