THE UGLIEST AMERICAN: Gringo Was His Name-O

• Theuglyamerican's Profile
• About this blog
• Entry from Las Mangas

Trip Start Nov 04, 2006 Previous
Entry Trip End Dec 03, 2006 Next
Entry

  Las Mangas, Honduras
Sunday, November 19, 2006

Open up your nostrils, relax, and inhale. There you go, THAT is the undeniable smell of one man enjoying himself. I finally got to get on the river. And WHAT a river!!!!The Rio Cangrejal was still lower than normal for November, which only meant that the drops are higher, the turns are tighter, and the impact is harder. Lawd....Sure we were dragging ass so much I regretted not wearing my hiking boots, but the 8 foot drops more than made up for it. Easily the most technical all around river Iīve ever paddled, the Cangrejal held many surprises. The guide, Joni, was cool with my mad skillz and at the end of a particularly high portage, we did a vertical launch off a 15 foot overhang. Now thatīs some FLY shit, yáll. In the States, thatīs a lawsuit in progress, but in Honduras, this is what we do before lunch. Also tackled a steep Class 4 that was immediately followed by a weird pillowy undercut under a boulder the size of Travvyīs house. We scouted it for about 10 minutes and were given the chance to walk it. The chick in the boat got out, but I didnīt spend 6 hundos on plane fair to walk around some badass foam, so over (then under) we went

Death Ship for Cutie

. No problemo. Good times, great runs, plenty of river to drink for all.

Best Paul Westerberg song ever: Ryan Adams "Monday Night"

Jump back two days before to Roatan. Couldnīt dive my last day because of impending storms, which of course, Iīve been waiting for to paddle. But the sea wasnīt quite finished with me, because the ferry back to La Ceiba was terror on the high seas. It was crazy rough on the ocean, there were 30 people throwing up around me, babies crying, huge blast of wet wind coming through the canopy, and nobody could stand because the ship was bucking like a bronco in a gay rodeo. I just popped in some Bowie and thought about my rescue plan should we capsize. Now, I never saw "The Perfect Storm", but anything with wet Clizz is alright by me.

Got to La Ceiba without sinking and prepared to go out that night before rafting in the morning. So I showered, went out to eat with a beer or two, and decided that before I went out and whooped it up I should take a quick nap. GOOD-Night!!!! Man, Iīm getting old. Woke up the next morning and drove up to Pico Bonito National Park to raft with Jungle River Lodge. (I just wasnīt feeling the pissy Kraut dudeīs outfit) It was pouring rain, and it was me, the guides, and 4 El Salvadorean med students

good water

. Eva, the only one who spoke English was really nice and helped to translate for me. The trip was not their cup of tea, and to be honest, it was hard paddling and dramatic leaps of faith. Not a good first time rafting experience. After the trip, I had a few $2 beers (thatīs insane for Honduras beer prices) and then decided to let Eva drive me up to Udoīs lodge up the road to see what section they were shooting in the morning. Well, hereīs what I remember after that. I bought a sixer of Impčrials because they were 75 cents at Udoīs, drank a few there, and then halfway back to Jungle River Lodge we saw a bunch of locals standing around this shack off the road. So we went in to have a look see. Now you have to appreciate this: Itīs 11pm, I am in the middle of the rainforest in backwoods Honduras, thereīs this little cantina on a crumbly rainsoaked dirt road miles from anything, and Iīm tossing back some cold ones with a group of locals whose language I barely grasp. Then things, of course, devolved. They started feeding me shots of "chicha", which in most of Central America is made from chewed up corn or plaintains. But this stuff was made from pineapple. Travel Tip: Never drink anything from a jug. This stuff tasted like drinking pineapple juice after brushing your teeth. Well, 3 of these and Iīm salsa dancing with a 5 year old girl named Gabi. She was adorable, saying "no" to all my questions but never left my lap, me continuing my descent. The last thing I remember I was at Jungle River sitting at the bar with Darwin, one of the guides, talking about cool waves and tasty buds

Hold on to your boat, gents!!!!

. When I woke up, I was missing my shoes, umbrella, and bottle coozy. I did, however, have a remote control in my pocket. Chicha wins again, my friends.

Listening to: Sugar-COPPER BLUE

Donīt know whatīs in store for the next couple of days. Just trying to catch a few eddies and run some Big īUns. What I do know is that Iīve only worked the "Hand Solo" routine a mere 4 times since being here. Whatīs up with that? Either its the higher dosage meds, or I left my mojo in a crappy hotel room somewhere. Sorry, I know this subject makes many of you uncomfortable, but think of how housekeeping feels.

Itīs just me and the internet cafe chick in this room, and she doesnīt seem to notice that "Whatīs Up?" by 4 Non Blondes has played over 5 times since Iīve been typing this. International incident? Coming right up.

Hope you all are having a Fabu November. My next entry will go into a bit more details about the paddling I did over the last two days. Iīm a bit behind in my entries and Iīm consistently at the mercy of bad internet connections and non-USB friendly computers. But thereīs video, and you know how I like you to watch. . .

Peace Love and all of my shoes smell like river rot, even my clubbing shoes.

TT

Post your own travel photos for friends and family More Pictures & Videos

The first run.. and not the last!!

Slideshow Print this entry Share

Previous Entry Next Entry