Can't Bat, Can't Bowl, Can't Field.
Trip Start
Feb 27, 2006
1
62
85
Trip End
??? ??, 2009
Adelaide,
South Australia,
Australia
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Glenelg is a few k's out of town, and after a pleasant tram journey we arrived and headed for the pier
01
. On the pier were a few foolhardy Aussie youths diving into the blue water below...although a much safer pastime than the Wigan trend of jumping into murky canals littered with shopping trolleys, from the locks.After a hour of lazing on the beach, myself and the Dazzler soon got bored and headed into the small town of Glenelg to find a bar. Now, for a supposed tourist spot, Glenelg has a distinct lack of bars, however settling on one we down a few Coopers - the preferred Adelaide tipple and were soon to be met by the sunseeker himself - Hussey. After a nice steak, and a few more pale ales we headed back to base on the tram. Unfortunately, there were a few English cricket loons on the tram back into Adelaide, and one cockney fool was heard vociferously reciting a song about 'a tin of salmon spread' much to the annoyance of us, the conductor and the locals on board. Unfortunately Australia aint Bangladesh or Pakistan and these fools are organised enough to book flights, accommodation and tickets, despite what their mental age might suggest.
Now, the original Ashes urn, follows the tour around to each venue, being displayed along with interesting features on the history of clashes between England and Australia at a museum near you. In Adelaide the venue for the display was the Museum of South Australia; so off me and the Dazzler set after a nice stroll into the city centre
02
. After 30 minutes or so wandering around the neatly presented feature, we moved on to the Don Bradman museum. The Don being a bit of a legend around these parts due to his super-human batting feats, it was only right that we payed our respects to one of the games greats, even if a he was an Aussie.The feature was superb detailing the Dons endless batting achievements and sportmanship, with all manner of memorabilia on display, kindly donated by Bradman to the museum before his death. After a pleasant early afternoon spent indoors, we made the short walk up to the ground to try and catch a net session. Unfortunately we just missed the nets; not to worry though, as we wandered around the Adelaide Oval for an hour or so watching the riggers, engineers, and caterers in full swing setting up the venue in readiness for the Test match. The Adelaide Oval is up there with the best Test venues in the world, neatly presented with grass banks at either end and the famous cathedral overlooking the ground at the scoreboard. Its certainly right up there with Newlands, Cape Town as one of my favourite venues to watch cricket.
Later that evening it was off to P J O'Briens - the Barmy Army's pub of choice in Adelaide - myself and Hussey were joined by a few other blokes who were staying at the same hostel...imaginatively titled the Cookie Monster - a former Tory council candidate from Stretford - , Steve the Teacher, and Benylin Steve (Jimmy Krankie lookalike)
03
. At the pub we were swiftly joined by Fanzine Clarky, Welsh Steve and Mansfield Chris fresh from their road trip from Brisbane...another notable was the infamous Chardonnay sporting bright read dye in his hair. After a number a pale ales we departed late into the night, leaving Hussey and his sidekick Mansfield Chris bouncing around the dance floor to Jive Bunny.Finally the Test match arrived, expecting sunshine, we were greeted by swift winds at the back of the Chappell stands throughout the first day, which for once saw England in the ascendency after winning the toss and batting. The day was mostly spent in the company of Woods and Willers; unaware Willers was making the trip out, it was a pleasant surprise to see him settled in his seat at the back of the Chappell, with a bag full of culinary delights...always good value.
Adelaide proved to be quite an eventful Test Match in more ways than most. Firstly England were beaten from the amazing position of scoring over 550 in their 1st innings. Also Chardonay was proving quite a handful in the ground on Day 2, the Aussies not knowing how to take him as he sat on the grass bank with bright yellow wig, the remnants of ball and chain round his ankle, and a beer in hand chanting 'Glenn McGrath used to be a good bowler'...which by the way, myself and the Dazzler thought highly amusing
04
. Lindsay Bondhu also had day to remember, shovelling beer down his neck, and ending up as the English fans impromtu mascot on the Hill....storming up and down, arms aloft orchestrating the tunes.On Day 5 myself and the Dazzler sneaked our way into the members area, and proceeded to have an excellent view of England bottling the Test match and handing the game to the Aussies. On the plus side we got to wander around the back of the Pavillion during lunch seeing the future legend - Monty Panesar - in the nets - and the England team tucking into strawberries and ice cream...the way the pre-lunch session had gone, gruel might have been a more appropriate feed.
Test match over, myself and the Dazzler decided to head out for a few beers to numb the pain...after chewing over the fat with Welsh Steve and Woods, and witnessing Hussey tucking into Bacardi Breezers at an alarming rate in Tats bar, we picked up Mark FM, the Cookie monster and Elena - a Canadian girl who worked at the hostel, and headed to a club - only because we had a flyer with free entry and free drink -; after arriving at an empty club, we found out that champagne was on the list of free drinks.
Mark FM had been covering the Ashes tour for Capital Radio - very cushy - and he'd had the pleasure of mine and Dazzlers company for some post game comments, which were broadcast back home. So, naturally the beers were on him after the champagne disappeared. Anyway after laughing at the house dancers and cheesy tunes, and failing to get the legendary Adelaidian pie-floater as the vendor had packed up for the night, we headed back leaving Mark FM and the Cookie monster trying to find a strip club.
So, the Ashes having all but disappeared we left South Australia behind.
