From Chicken Masaman to Broken Man

Trip Start Jul 16, 2012
Trip End Ongoing

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Friday, February 15, 2013

I very much expected this blog entry to be pretty empty as we are returning to Koh Lanta when Tim's mum comes to visit so we thought we would just relax on the beach, watch the sunset, test out some restaurants and pick up some tour leaflets so we had some idea what to do on our return. We even discovered that our local shop keeper had a pet Thai racoon so had a daily zoo trip when buying our water.  This was all going to plan until our restaurant testing left Tim with food poisoning.  We had been working our way along the road from our hotel and there were two typical Thai restaurants next to each other, both always packed so having tried the first and declaring it 'Amazing’ we moved onto the second.  What is so annoying is that the food took an hour to come, tasted fairly bland and rubbish and left our bathroom redecorated with Chicken Massaman Curry and banana milkshake.

As always Tim does not do things by halfs!  A couple of hours after dinner Tim declared that he felt ‘Funny’, I thought nothing of it and we got ready for bed.  Tim’s speed and agility was tested that night and the results were Toilet (0) – Boxer Shorts (3)!  That was possibly the longest night ever but I was fairly sure that Tim would have got it out of his system and would be right as rain.  Oh how wrong I was.  I set off the next morning to the trusty 7/11 and stocked up on water, Gatorade, crackers, bread and any provisions that I thought might help.  Tim kindly redecorated the bathroom with each and every offering I gave him. He seemed to be getting better and we stuck with the routine of rehydration sachets, pepto bismol and water and were fairly sure we had things under control until we had yet another night of Tim throwing up in the shower because he couldn’t get around the door to the toilet quick enough.  I am so grateful for two things in Thailand, the fact that all bathrooms are wetrooms and can be hosed down and beside the toilet you have what Tim likes to call the Poo Pistol, which the Thais use instead of toilet roll, I have now renamed this the Puke Pistol!

After two sleepless nights, Tim was sick and tired, I was tired and emotional and that is never a good combination, I could see that Tim was actually grey underneath his tan and when he was sat on the toilet throwing up on his feet I needed to take action; so I went and cried at the reception of our hotel and they agreed to drive us to the local clinic.  Had the hotel owner seen all the boxers hanging to dry on our balcony he may not have been so willing but we set off bin in hand to cover at least one of Tim’s offending orifices.  Luckily we arrived to an empty clinic and with a form filled in and insurance paper work sorted Tim was poked, prodded and without hesitation admitted for the night.  I was sent off to get his passport as a guarantee that we wouldn’t run off without paying and managed to get him an overnight bag to keep him occupied as I assumed he would be on the table in the clinic for the night.  When I got back and was sent upstairs, I thought maybe we had gone to the wrong place.  He was sat on a lushious white king size bed, with the aircon running, a sea view and sky tv.  He did have a drip in his arm and was being pumped full of various anti sickness and antibiotic drugs, but in the grand scheme of things this was quite nice.  Tim was treated like a king, the nurses were checking up on him every hour, giving him more antibiotics and fluids and even brought him dinner. I had to fend for myself and ended up with a current bun and a bag of crisps from 7/11.  The improvement was immediate, and before long Tim was back to his usual self moaning that there was only one English channel on the tv!

The next day, again Tim is treated to breakfast, lunch and dinner and I am living off of 7/11 picnic snacks.  It was a bit like being back in Japan.  Whilst I could have abandoned Tim to go and treat myself to a nice slap up meal, he couldn’t get into the bathroom with his drip without a helping hand so staying by his side ensured that I would not be in danger of scrubbing anymore boxer shorts!

After a second night in the clinic we were both getting a touch of cabin fever and felt like we were banged up abroad, so after one more blood test we were set to go, seemingly Tim had been so ill he had actually put his kidneys in danger of total failure, but after 4 blood tests he was declared ‘normal’ again. I would dispute that anything about Tim is ever normal. But if it meant we could get back into the big wide world, I was more than happy to go with it.  Typically after 3 days of the best treatment we could have hoped for it all went Thai style at the end, we were told that they had not had authorisation from our insurance that the bill would be paid, so whilst we could go, Tim’s passport needed to stay behind, this would not be a problem apart from the fact we were on a boat at 7am the next morning.  I had 45 minutes until the clinics insurance admin man finished for the night and it was Saturday, I didn’t hold out much hope of this being sorted but much to my amazement after one phone call to STA Insurance, we were all sorted and released with a bag of medicine and our hotel bin.

We had one last dinner in a tried and tested restaurant and were packed and ready to move on the next day.  We were 3 days behind in our proposed schedule so would have just one night in Koh Jum rather than four, but one night with Tim at full health beat 4 nights of sickness on a remote island.

Lets hope that our return trip to Koh Lanta is full of snorkelling and island day tripping!
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