Shanghai and shizzle
Trip Start
Jan 18, 2007
1
15
17
Trip End
Jul 01, 2008
Shanghai,
Shanghai,
China
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I'll start as usual with some birthday wishes. Lizzie will become officially an adult reaching 24 on the 18th. She now has to act like a grown up at least 3 out of 7 days a week. MTC is older than he was, to be honest he could be 20 he could be 21 I have no idea, I'm pretty sure its 21 and he shares a birthday with Lizzie. Hugo is getting old and hits his quarter of a century as does Toby on the 20th and 17th respectively, That's what I think anyway. I can't be sure because I am rubbish and miles away. Weave's is also celebrating on Tuesday if I remember correctly, forgive me if I am wrong, I also have no idea as to what age she will be celebrating but then it never is polite to ask a woman her age. Unless you're checking she's legal of course, in which case it is imperative she at least tells you she's 16. I'm defiantly too old to be saying things like that.
Ok so life. I've been to Shanghai, I popped up their on a 19 hour train journey for a day during the tomb sweeping festival. I'd love to say it was a fun and joyous trip, it wasn't. I was meeting one of Brettos' friends, alas she has a few of Bretts traits to a much worse degree. I mean at least I never had to travel 1800km to be stood up by Brett plus I was rarely stood up by Brett he would just turn up 3 hours late. Something you can forgive in someone so lovely and strange. Not so easily forgiveable in some jumped up little dickhead. I wasn't happy. I was less happy with the fact the sky was horrendously misty and when I went to see the second tallest building in the world I could only see about as high as my apartment, which is on the first floor. So the weather was bad and the company was non-existent but the train ride was fun. Apart from the fact I read American psycho before I went to bed and woke up in a cold sweat wondering where I was and if I was really being raped with a vacuum cleaner tube. Thankfully I wasn't it was just a horrible, disgusting, hugely disturbing dream.
So Shanghai was disappointing. Not quite as disappointing as the news I received when I got back from my brief sojourn. Ok maybe disappointing is the wrong word for it. Umm well I was gutted anyway. My boss and good friend Dom got very ill and had to go home to Australia. This not only meant I would be the only western teacher left at my institute, aside Peter the Joo Zealander who was described by a friend as a whisper. Sometimes heard but never seen, anyway it also meant I was losing my best friend in the town. Which was pretty gay. He stayed around for a further 3 weeks so we could all say goodbye properly.
So now I am teaching almost every night and working myself pretty damn hard, which for those of you who know me is something I am not used to in any way whatsoever. The overtime will however come in handy when I am travelling around China with Sarah in 10 weeks time.
Before Dom left me however we did have a night out at KTV where I was offered a woman for the night by my host, I declined. It wasn't that kind of offer by the way it was just someone to entertain me whilst in the Karaoke room and no further. I did as always get blind drunk using crazy dice drinking games which I didn't really understand at first and I defiantly don't understand now. All I know is, the Chinese can't drink as much as western people and they no it so they cheat. Which to be honest is fine with me just as long as I don't get a Bobek style beer gut by the end of my stay here.
Dom also imparted some wisdom upon me. My quest to find butter had been fruitless, or butterless, over the previous 9 weeks. Dom led me to something I have long been a hater of but in my desperate time of need I felt it was a good substitute, he showed me where I could fine Flora. This may seem like a small thing to all you folk who have butter available to you, but for me it was a revelation. I would now eat peanut butter on toast almost how god intended it. Any one of you scoffing at this thinking god intended it to be eaten without butter, you are fools. Idiots of the highest calibre. There is nothing less satisfying than a mouthful of dry peanut butter on toast. It removes almost all of the joy and delight from the heavenly snack, the snack of champions as I like to call it.
Prior to my evening out with Dom a Typhoon hit Haizhou and I decided that it was merely a little rainy so I threw on my waterproofs, jumped on my bike and headed to the supermarket to get some eggs.
It was probably the most difficult 3 minute bike ride of my entire life. I was almost thrown off my bike on several occasions and my water proofs were enough to prevent me from getting wet. The journey back however was simply delightful, I hardly had to set a foot on the pedal with a disgustingly strong tail wind behind me I practically flew home. It wasn't until that evening and I was preparing to go to the office when I received a phone call from the office manager Gary telling me not to come in the class was cancelled due to the typhoon. He was a little surprised to hear I had been out in it just to go and get some eggs. I have to admit they were the tastiest eggs I've ever had.
My office decided it was time to take a couple of trips with the adult students so we spent one day at the arcades, which was awesome and the next on a "hike". I refer to it as a "hike" as yes we did limb a large hill but it was along paved roads the whole way. It was pretty fun though, I've added some pictures below if you want to have a little looksy. About half way up I noticed one of the students daughters was clearly about to collapse due to the heat and fact that this was far too far for her to be walking so I did the good thing and carried her on my shoulders. I felt just like my Dad must have felt all those weeks ago when I got tired on the way home from town. It was fairly amusing as a number of passers by asked if she was indeed my daughter. To me it doesn't take a genius to work out she isn't my daughter. Firstly she doesn't have my devilishly good looks, secondly she is quite obviously Chinese and I am not and thirdly I'm fairly sure when I have children sorry, if I have children that I know of, they are sure to have either my stupidly oversized ears or my disgracefully pointy, long nose, if not both. Thanks for the nose by the way Mum.
Speaking of Mum, it's not often you get to be involved in a scandal on a world scale but I am giving you the chance right here and right now. There is an vote for the best teacher at my Mums work in Latvia and apparently the woman (who is hot) who has won it for the past 8 years always cheats. So what she is proposing we do is vote for the guy ourselves. In essence cheating ourselves. I have added the link to this all you need to do is click on the little LV flag at the bottom and vote for Leonid. He's the one with over 300 votes. Do it, do it now and do it every day until May the 28th. Together we can bring this bitch down make Latvia a better place to live.
http://www.ihriga.lv/?menu=701
http://www.ihriga.lv/?lng=lv
It's one of those links.
Leonid Sorokins
So enough about international vote rigging, sorry helping. Back to my favourite subject, me.
I was offered the opportunity to act as the player coach in a couple of games for my school football team. I of course jumped at the chance. Playing in my favoured position of the all over the pitch guy in my first game I scored a hat-trick, I got 4 assists and made a last minute almost deliberate goal line clearance in my teams 8-7 victory. In that game I scored a completely accidental 40 yard volley and a stunning 20 yard drive into the top corner. My second game I only got one assist and 2 goals but we did win 3-1 so I was happy. Happiest with my 23 yard freekick that went in off the underside of the crossbar. I shan't make any comments about the quality of the oppositions goal keeper but it was a pretty good strike. I really love playing football here I feel like a lanky Messi. It's great.
So that's about everything aside this weekend which has been my least interesting since I got here. On Friday I got sunburnt then stuck in a huge storm on my way to work and yesterday I went on a school trip, but with out any kids, just the teachers. I have to say it was the least exciting thing in the world. The only good thing was that I had the foresight to take my water proofs and nobody else did so I got to laugh at all of them "hiking" in the rain whilst I stayed nice and dry. I have to say though I was rather annoyed that I had lesson cancelled to go and do something so dull and uninteresting that I felt like I'd rather be sat at home forcing knitting needles into my thighs whilst listening to a compilation of James Blunt, Keane and Coldplay on repeat and being pole danced by a 85 year old transsexual. It was not fun at all.
Anyway that's all from my for this month. I hope you are all keeping well. Send me an email with any gossip or news you may have. Oh and those of you with new jobs, Drew, Nicola, Smellie and anyone else please send my your new email addresses so I can update my lists. That is if you want to still receive my monthly rants.
Big Love
Hxx
Shanggers
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=106404&l=bbc2c&id=774575150
School trips
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=108176&l=552bf&id=774575150
bits of Stuff and some small things
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=115125&l=587fd&id=774575150
