A little sojour around a bit of Brazil
Trip Start
Jan 18, 2007
1
7
17
Trip End
Jul 01, 2008
Itacare,
Brazil
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I went back to the hostel to sleep after that I was pretty pooped.
Sleeping in Itacaré was clearly going to be a big problem for me, not only was my dorm full of smelly men who enjoyed a good snore. It is also a fishing town but clearly a fishing town that sees alarm clocks as being a little passé. Everyone and I mean everyone has a cockerel so at day break there is the deafening sound of about 30 cockerels battling it out to wake their fishermen owners. Now this would be fine if they then stopped but it would continue for an hour or 2 until it really was time to get up. I finally got my arse around to getting me some ear plugs which in my opinion is the greatest buy I have ever made. I'll admit I forget they have a cord so when the fall out you can find them. Said cord normally ends up around your neck and you forget you're wearing ear plugs and go out into the real world looking like a wanker after your siesta. I guess that one of life's exciting twists.
It wasn't until the next day I started to see why people said I would love it here. The beaches were close. There weren't many people on them and there are hundreds of surfer girls. I hadn't realised until I got here how attractive a girl who surfs can bee. Some can almost be forgiven having faces that aren't as beautiful as ones like mine, still look HOT if they surf.
There are 3 surf beaches with in 20 minutes walk and 1 beach without waves about 2 minutes away. The water is such a nice temperature as well not freezing but not warm just right in the middle. Like Cool or some shit. It's beautiful. I have to say the beach a mere 2 minutes away was pretty much perfect with some light fluffy sand and some nice hard baked sand, the best bit though. There were no waves, it was just perfect for swimming in. PERFECT.
This place is tiny like super tiny. Size of Kinglsly or some shit. It's awesome. It feels more the the Caribbean. People are super chilled. All blaring Reggae from their bars and restaurants. ****************
Life here is Nimbin esque. Very chilled lots of smoking but it has beaches and weed that isn't as strong as nimbins stuff.
******************
It is simply beautiful. I love it here, this would be a perfect place to live.
********** One thing I had noticed here was there were a strangely large number off people with at least one Big toe all taped up. I realise why a little later on. My big toe feels devastated I've stubbed it 4 fucking times. Always the left one too.
I spent a fair portion of my next day cruising from beach to beach. Between each beach there was someone at the side of the road stripping the bark of the bamboo. I am sure he was turning it in to things that could defiantly be used to create stuff but what exactly I wasn't quite sure. I hoped that they were maybe making armour like the Lost Boys in Hook to take on the evil grown up, but I doubted it somehow. In Itacaré the sun is midday hot from about 09:30. I've felt stupid heat before but nothing as insane as this. It was blistering heat. Within 30 seconds of laying down it felt like pins pricking my skin. I could literally feel the UV ray penetrating my now not so pallid completion. I decided after about half an hour of this I had definitely had enough so I returned to my hostel. To apply that famous cure for skin cancer, after sun and for a siesta.
The next day I went to a nice looking beach ********* where I was spotted by a local. Dito his name. Or J't as you would pronounce it. Obviously. He invited me to his place for a Beer (*********) we sat and discussed Itacaré. In Portuguese of course. It was fairly difficult but I managed ok.
He told me of water falls that were 40 minutes up the river by Canoe and he had a friend with a canoe. Fair enough I though just mozy on up the river n shit.
We decided that the fee would be me teaching him English for the whole time we were out so he could talk to more tourists and he could make money for his surf school too.
Fine deal I thought. I was right for once. J't couldn't speak any English. He struggled with my name due to the way they pronounce things here. But I thought its is a great deal.
I went back down to the beach and let my skin burn for a short while before returning for an imminent siesta. I would've liked to have stayed a while longer on the beach but sadly I couldn't, I had Elton John 'Can you feel the love tonight' in my head and try as I might I couldn't shift it. I even tried Shanks and Bigfoot 'Sweet like Chocolate' even that didn't work. I think the worst thing was it wasn't even Elton John's version of 'Can you feel the love tonight' It was from a flop reality TV show I had seen one night after being out on the piss. You could tell it was a flop because the BBC was repeating it at 03:00 with Deafy in the corner. Some toffy nosed wank stain had taken to a rough school and created a choir in an attempt to A. Make himself look like a bit less of a c*nt and B. To get them to some shitty singing competition. I only saw one episode so I never know if he succeeded. I hope to god he failed miserably and is now hooked on smack drinking his own piss and eating left over scraps from a little chef bin. He got on my tits a little. When I got back to the hostel, I decided to throw on some tunes, load Fifa Manager ************* and chill out in a hammock for a few hours. It certainly was a fine decision. That fucking song is in my head again now and I'm pretty sure it's going to stick with me for the 11 hour bus journey I'm about to embark on. I blame YOU!!!
09:00 the next day here was there, on time, I was amazed.
We got to the canoe and he only took one ore. Ok I thought we'll take turns. Nope he went the whole way up and back what a gee. It took a little over 2 hours, I hadn't bargained for this so my 1 application of sun cream clearly wasn't going to be enough. The sun feels like its midday from about 09:30 here so going up the river I was pretty fucking hot but the sun cream kinda did the trick. **************** about half way up the river.
We got to the island and walked for about 15 minutes, along wooden platforms and over muddy sand. Before arriving at the foot of the falls it was awesome. 5 minutes up the hill and we were there at the huge pool at the top of the waterfalls where J't and I jumped in for a swim.
It was like jumping into a cool bath, so nice, and fresh and clean and lovely. There was no one else there so it was just perfect. I decided this would be the perfect place for a lesson on Prepositions. See my pictures for explanations.
After the top of the falls we went to the pool in the middle of the falls where I swam again. It was incredible to have the waterfall just crashing behind me.
The next bit though was the bet by such a long long way. About two thirds back down the waterfall there is a place where you can get into the waterfall and feel its force. For me Bridges are mans greatest engineering achievement. Waterfalls are natures number one for me. I love seeing them but to get inside one was like an awesome dream come true, I loved it so much. Everyone loves waterfalls and I defy any one of you to say your aren't a little jealous of that. The perfect way to have a shower. It was so calm and tranquil, so perfect.
The journey back to the beach was nice ********* When you've had a joint you should try understanding or taking seriously anything anyone says in trunk like J't had on, like all the Brazilians wear in fact, very difficult.********** J't rowing the whole way and going over his new vocabulary that was going to impress his Gringo friends in the future.
After we got back we parted ways, I said I might see him later that evening.
I decided that 4 hours in the blazing sunshine was enough for one day and I went in for a siesta. *******I went to the beach to see if anyone was playing football. I was in luck 4 kids (14-16) were having a little penalty shoot out. I offered to go in goal which delighted the lad between the sticks as he was then relieved of his duty. I was ok, we played for about 25 minutes the lads just taking penalties, I saved a few let a few go by, it was an average performance. They told me to return the pitch the next day for a game. Ohh I was excited.
I didn't see J't again but my night was ok none the less. I returned home early so I could get a good nights sleep so I could watch the sunrise the next day.
My alarm woke me the next day ready for the sunrise. It was nice, a little unspectacular but I have to say I was almost certainly in a better mood than any of you would have been to be getting up at 04:30am. I do love the sense of achievement when you actually manage to haul your lazy arse out of bed to watch a sun rise, gets the day off to a really good start.
I went for a quick swim after the sun had risen and back for a wee nap.
An hour later I got up, spent some time on the internet, bought my ticket to go to Salvador on the night bus and prepared myself for the big game.
When the time came I was a little nervous, none of the 4 boys from the day before were playing football and it was a grown up game. For adults, mean looking adults. They had been told of my coming and I was put in goal. Now I have had some embarrassing moments whilst away my volleyball escapades being my most recent. This wasn't one of those occasions. This my friends was my moment of glory. I have never in my life played as well as I did that game. I was a hero. I played beyond my own ability.
My team won 3-1, but we had been hammered throughout the whole first half and I had let nothing past. I'd saved a penalty and a free kick destined for the top corner. I'd also pulled off a breathtaking 1 on 1 save using nothing but my face. I'll admit lady luck shone upon me then and I was left feeling somewhat dazed but the pats on the shoulder showed me I'd somehow kept the ball out. The goal I did concede was a little soft but we were 2-0 up by then with not long left so no one pointed any fingers.
Straight after the game I had to make my way to the station (after my final shower before travelling of course) the 7 minute walk with all my bags exhausted me and got a nice sweat on. It was ok I'd be in the bus for 2 hours then I'd get to change and go north to Salvador.
When I got to Ilhéus they decided to tell me no busses were running to Salvador and I'd have to go to Itabuna and connect from their. I was a little pissed of at first but when I got to Itabuna I went to the VIP exit area with free coffee etc to wait for my 3 hours before my bus left. Now things improved still further when I was given the one remaining seat of the bus that left an hour earlier, not only did it leave earlier but it was also like a super awesome class and it got us to Salvador in like 7 hours. I was impressed. Now it's time for a shower and to locate when I can watch Arsenal Vs Liverpool.
I realise of late my updates have become somewhat long and tedious so I shall be attempting to keep them a little snappier from now on.
Quick news flash, New Cassettes new single Recover Retreat is in all good record stores now or you can order it online, show some love guys.
A few lil' birthday shouts too. I will issue my regular advanced apology to those whom I forget. To my knowledge first up is Super Lucy Hammond who's birthday is on the 15th of this month, another step closer to 30 hey. Good luck in your new crib with My favourite little man and Ethan of course. 6 days later and what will be a very strange 21st of November for me it's Toris birthday. The first of which since her 19th that I'll miss. Weird. Happy 24th sweetheart have a goodn hope your flights n' shit were ok.
So news over let's get cracking.
I checked into my hostel at 06:00. I had wanted to stay in the Barra Guest house but it was fully booked so I went next door to a French run hostel. I was the only guest. In a way it was nice I got my own room, my own bathroom and my own kitchen. The obvious downside being I was all alone. I'm not great when I'm alone, I like to talk and I appeared vaguely insane when I was spotted talking to myself. In my defence I was practising my Portuguese but I looked like a weirdo none the less. The downside to travelling alone is you can at times be a little lonely. The upsides however, you can shit with the door open, watch porn with the sound on and wank openly and without the necessary cover of darkenss.
The Beaches in Salvador are really spot on and it seems like it must be illegal for a cloud to enter the sky. This lead me to spending a fair old while topping up my tan.
I had decided early in the day my evening would b spent in the Dubliner pub, thinking there would be a large gringo crowd there. I was wrong. It was rock night and the bar was full of Brazilians. I thought it would be a great place to practice my Portuguese but alas no one could hear me so I watched 2 innings of the World Series got hugely bored at watching what can only be described as the most boring game of all time (Baseball) and went back to my apartment.
The next day I decided to take a bus as far as I dared and then walked back along the coast, for about 4 hours. I think that might be the reason my shoulders started to peel a few days later.
That evening I returned to The Dubliner as I had seen they sold a number of British beers. I enjoyed a pint of Ruddles and was invited by a Brazilian pair to join in with their game of pool. I did. I went ot leave and the guys persuaded me to stay by buying me another beer. This charade went on for about 6 pints. I was quite drunk and my Portuguese seemed to be flowing freely. Whether they understood a word I was saying I don't know, I understood a lot of what they were saying to me so I felt pretty good about myself.
I went home, fairly pissed and got accosted by a number of street folk, a few of whom insisted they were linked with the Mafia and I really should give them R$5 for some crack. I decided to ignore them as they were about 3 foot tall and looked about 12.
I had decided that I would visit the Historic Centre of town the next day and followed the signs to what was apparently 5kms away. I believed the signs until I got to the 2kms sing which about 2kms further down the road repeated it self. There are 2 things you can't trust when a Brazilian tells you them. Firstly its time. These guys work on a whole different clock to western countries. The second is distance (closely related to time) I think it was about 9kms before I reached the Centre. It was fairly uninspiring but not bad looking. From there I decided to jump on a bus and go and get my ticket to São Paulo. I arrived close to the bus station and decided to go and get my money from the cash point so I didn't have an hassle in the station trying to get my ticket. So I withdrew R$200 (£50) and began my 2 street walk to the bus station. About 20 feet down the first road I was approached by 3 men. One of whom asked me (in Portuguese of course) if I had a lighter. I declined saying I didn't smoke. He then asked if I had any money. Again, in Portuguese, I declined with an apology. This is when things turned a bit interesting.
The guy who had been questioning me decided it would be a good time to pull out a small but fairly harmful looking knife and wave it towards me. He asked again if I had any money. Strangely enough having a blade inches from my face jolted my memory. Oh yes I thought I do have some money. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the money I had just withdrawn. They looked delighted, I had made their day. I was on the verge of shitting my pants but at least I'd made someone happy. I'd like to point out here I think it would be qite cool to go home with a small scar, on my shoulder perhaps, from a mugging but all that was going through my mind wasn't oh shit he could kill me, it was more. Oh fuck what if he slashes my face, where would I be without my beautiful face. I realised then my greatest fear after waking up to find my cock severed was getting my face horrible scared. After collecting his thoughts he pointed at my other pockets and told me to empty them. I lent forward and something crazy went through my mind. My camera was in the pocket in which I had my hand and I really didn't want to give it up to some arsehole who had just taken £50 from me. It was at this point a crazy plan flashed through my head, I looked behind the C*nts, as I like to call them, and cried Policia, Policia. In a hugely slapstick moment the three of them all turned round looking fairly alarmed. I needed no second invitation and I ran like a scared little girl. Fuck me did I run. I was wearing my flip flops but it didn't stop me running faster than I think anyone has ever run in the history, it was like my flops were the soles of my feet. I stormed past them and to the safety of the bus station. Although I'd lost £50 I felt fairly triumphant, they hadn't got my camera and I had just come close to beating the land speed record, on foot. I can safely say it was as scared as I've ever been in my whole life, it was also the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me in my entire existence.
I bought my ticket for the next day. I was fucked if I was going to stay there any longer. Despite this experience I would recommend to anyone to go to Salvador if they have the good fortune of coming to Brazil. The city is a bustling hive of activity.
The next day I got on my bus ready for the 33 hour journey to Sao Paulo.
This bus journey opend my eyes to a number of things. Firstly I am clearly becoming more tolerant of other as I spent a large portion of my journey talking to someone what wasn't only German but he was a Jehovah Witness, I must be turning soft. The bus journey also saw a return, much to the delight of all the other passengers, of me banging my head. Every fucking time I got onto the bus.
We had a mixed bag of entertainment throughout the trip. Jimmy Neutron in Portuguese, a number of classic song with translations coming after every line and a stunt bike video. Interspersed with this I read my book and cleansed my fetted body. Something which perturbed me quite a lot was the fact I was the only passenger doing so.
I arrived in Sao Paulo at about half pat seven in the morning said goodbye to my german friend and stumbled my way to a hostel.
I have very little good to say about Sao Paulo I have however met some of the most entertaining people on my travels here and found myself on my first unsuccessful night out engaged in political conversation which was refreshing. The night was however a complete let down for a city which has the reputation for being as lively as New York. It simply isn't.
The next day I walked around in the rain and spoke, mostly to Sarah, on the internet. I retired early that night.
Sunday was spent with Doug a very pleasant american aid worker talking about HIV and how it has spread across South America. That night I went out with Doug and my new room mate Takuro from Japan. It was another boring night spiced up only by a huge Brazilian hooker who said she would take all of us home and that I was very beautiful, before she insisted that Takuro took her number. Being the polite chap he is he took it and we left.
More rain ensued the next day and I walked around one of the few green areas of this concrete school yard.
My day started the same as every other in Sao Paulo, going to breakfast and looking out at what can only be described as depressing weather. I decided today would be a good day to do laundry so I popped to the Lavanderia and sat on the internet for an hour. When I left I bumped into a person who I can only describe as the most insane person I have met and possibly the most insane person in the history of humanity. He was a 3ft tall British Guaynan with a white heard and a Cesc style mullet going by the name of Hyett. He collared me by calling "Hey Guy" from behind me. I turned around and saw no one o I walked on. The only reason I'd not spotted him was due to the fact he was quite a distance below my eye line. He told me many tall tails about how he had hit and English police officer and been put in prison for it. He went on to say how just last week he had decked an Israeli guy for being rude. Although I didn't believe or condone such behaviour I was compelled to listen further to his tales. He invited me for a coffee so I joined him and listened intently to his various tales of despair. After not too long I grew tired of his lies and decided to go and get my laundry. Alas I had clearly made a friend and he followed me to the Lavanderia. After I had picked up my still wet and clearly unclean clothes I managed to shake him saying I was due to meet Takuro and go to a museum. He was quite obviously uninterested in the prospect of spending a day on the cultural side of life and decided to go and find another victim to inflict his stories on.
What am I going to do for the next 4 days here? Wish me luck fingers crossed things improve and my next instalment will be a little more interesting.
