Vegas baby

Trip Start Apr 16, 2009
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of United States  , Nevada
Saturday, April 25, 2009

5am!!!!! God damn it's early I thought! This was the earliest I had been up since leaving England. I was use to going to bed at 5am, not getting up! But I was still in Arizona so there was a 4 and half hour drive to contend with. Ask any American and they'll all tell u that 4 and a half hours is just down the road. Seems fecked up but when you consider how big and open the States is, it's true. Especially being in the South West where it's just desert.

We set off for a drive to Vegas. I was meeting up with some cousins of mine and they hadn't seen me since I was 2 years old. Hopefully I'm still as cute as I was back then :D

About an hour into the drive, there's a town called Wikieup you pass through. This town looks exactly like the kind of place where they will skin u alive should ur car break down there.
Your ears will be worn as a necklace, ur skin used as lamp shades and ur heart cooked on a grill. I shit u not, I've seen many American movies where someone breaks down, goes to a quiet little town and gets eaten by the folk there. I'm sure this town is where they come to shoot the movies! If the scorpions don't get you, the people will!
In fact, there's a lot of places like this on the drive through the desert. You just don't wanna stop there no matter what... you need the toilet? Use a bottle! Thirsty? Drink from the bottle! Hungry? Tough shit! Just don't stop in this pigmy infested hole!!!!

The drive is a bit of a bitch, it's long, full of sand and mountains and hot! You drive up a hill and your ears pop, come down the hill and they pop again. I'm not a fan or the altitude changes when u come down in a plane and I'm not a fan driving across country!!! The scenery almost makes up for it tho, you can see for miles upon miles. A mesa looks like it's about half a mile away but is nearer to 60 miles.
Pretty cool thing though is seeing mirages on the road, there's no hotel and pine trees (unless ur delerious I guess) but u do see water. Entertained me for a while trying to get photos, simple things eh?

As you reach Boulder City, Casinos start to pop up and you know your getting close. The way we came in is higher than Vegas itself so I got some great views. It doesn't look that big from up near BC but have to remember how far you can see away u can see in this area. It's all do with the flat lands and being little to no pollution in uninhabitated desert land.

My Cousin Clarise was staying at the Emerald suites which is near The Orleans just off Tropicana. We headed there to meet up.
After a few hugs we headed for something to eat. The Orleans casino, like all of them, has everything you could need inside. I was starving after the long drive and twinkies were just not doing it anymore so we went to a cafe and had a catch up.
Clarise was in town because her Daughter Whitney (my 2nd cousin) lives and works here and it was recently her birthday. Whitney was in Laughlin working and we were heading there shortly.

Had my first run in with a Police Officer on the way to Laughlin. Clarise was driving and not paying much attention to the road (obviously) :P
The speed limit went from 75 to 45, to 35 to 25... we were still going 42 by the time we hit the 25 and Mr Piggy was sitting waiting. Clarise blames the signs for being too close together as the reason for not slowing down in time... I call it not paying attention, hehe.
Lights were on and we were pulled over. The first time Clarise had been caught speeding... OOPSY!
Clarises first citation provided some light entertainment for the rest of the drive and we were sworn to secrecy to not tell anyone!

Laughlin was packed... there was a bikers show on and they came out in force! The streets littered with Harley's, tents with plenty of alcohol and stages for the shows and what not.
We parked up and met up with Whitney and some of her friends. They were here working to promote Jim Bean. But first off Whitney had a competition to go to.
I think it was called the bedroom babe contest. Or Daisy Dukes contest.

There were 6 woman, a tent and a big crowd. Each woman took it in turn to get up on stage, walk around taking off clothes and then answering some dirty questions. After each girl had done there thing, they had all girls up on stage together and the crowd cheered for their favourite.
1st place won $1k, 2nd got $600 and 3rd got $300.
My cousin generated quite a bit of interest when her reply to her favourite position was... I don't have 1 cos I'm a virgin. But some of the other girls took a slightly different approach and got as dirty as they could with there answers. Some were good but others were just pants.

It came down to the final 3 and Whiney was still up there. We cheered as loud as we could but the winner was decided when 1 of the girls opened her bra up. She had pasties on but it was enough to see her take the $1k and give Whitney 2nd.

We headed back to Vegas about an hour later and it was dark by then. The city lit up looked amazing!

Next door to the Hotel was a pub called McMullards which was an Irish pub... we stopped off in there for a drink and low and behold... CARLSBERG on TAP!!!! I had found my home! The casinos could wait, I had found a pub in America that actually had decent drink on tap. No stupid ale or bud light... CARLSBERG!!! MmmmMMmmMmmMMmMmmMmmMmmMM.

Several pints later Clarise and I headed across to a casino for a little bit of gambling. The roulette table took my fancy and my 2nd bet was $5 on 27. In rolled 27 and I had won $175 from that bet alone. It was enough to make it my favourite game.

The best thing about the casinos is the free drinks. Waitresses will see that u are gambling and in a bid to keep you there pouring your money into their games, they bring your drinks to you. Give them a dollar tip per drink and you got yourself a drink for a buck. Not bad at all!

We hit the slot machines, had several more drinks and then watched a band playing. The lead singer was either a man or a woman and provided a debate for the next 10 mins. Eventually I got up to use the bathroom and on the way back was going to walk past the stage and look up... drastic measures but this debate was heating up! The singer wasn't on the stage anymore and to do this day we still don't know the answer. But the jaw line and huge hands and legs of a man tell me I was right!

4am and Clarise was ready to leave. A bit early considering we were winning on the slots but we went back to the hotel and got some sleep.

My first day in Vegas... watched woman get naked in laughlin, saw a Police Officer give a citation out, won $175, got drunk for free and found CARLSBERGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
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