Probably the Most Boring Place on the Planet
Trip Start Nov 29, 2012
115Trip End May 10, 2015
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Where I stayed
What I did
To be perfectly honest, I should have just slept the whole time I spent in that place which was a VERY long couple of days. Agnes Water, where my hostel was, had a grand total of two tiny shopping precincts, a petrol station, a museum and a library and some houses
After arriving at 1am feeling like a zombie and with a chin covered in drool (attractive huh?) I slept pretty well, until around 7am that is when I was woken by bizarre reggae music, playing over and over in a loop. As a backpacker sadly, a good night's sleep is a very rare commodity. The biggest threat to a good night's sleep are the snorers. The night before I went to Fraser Island, I was unfortunate enough to be sharing a dorm with a highly unpleasant, rather tubby German guy who snored like a pig and shouted out random German phrases in his sleep along the lines of 'Schnell schnell.' So you can imagine my delight when he was one of the first people I encountered at Agnes Water, along with a Dutch girl who looked like a snake and seriously didn't like me and who I'd had the misfortune of meeting all the way back in Port Macquarie. Joy.
The weather however did seem pretty bright and sunny so I headed to the beach with a German and Israeli guy who seemed alright, but quite frankly, I would have rather gone myself. I knew straight away I didn't like the vibe in the whole town at all, it was very redneck and the hostel itself it seemed to be full of older, long term, backpackers who were very cliquey
After a very non descript afternoon which involved walking around the shops (took a grand total of 30 minutes and that was with some SERIOUS meandering going on) I decided to go on an organised sunset walk to 1770.
The only reason I even stopped off at Agnes Water was because of 1770. Its famous for being the first place that Captain Cooke landed in Queensland when he discovered Australia. And I thought, well, that is a pretty cool name for a town, I have to see it. In my head, I pictured a quaint, historical little town on a par with York. A fellow backpacker even told me that he'd spent about five days there and thought it was really interesting.
1770 consisted of one hotel and three houses. I'm not even joking, there was NOTHING else, AT ALL. The disappointment was threefold, that was when I actually even got there in the first place. There was a massive demand for the sunset walk, mostly because there was bugger else to do and the crappy minibus could only take eight people. Everyone pushed in front of me in an enmasse stampede so I was the only one who couldn't get in! There was however room for me and everyone else told me just to jump in (rather than offer me their place). So, being the lemming that I am, I went and jumped in. Big mistake. The grumpy manager spotted me and went absolutely beserk, telling me to get the hell out of the minibus and what the f**k was I doing?! I was so taken aback I didn't know what to say!
Thankfully, after some persuasion, the minibus came back and picked me up and we sat and drank dreadful goon and ate crisps while watching the sunset. Admittedly, it was rather pretty but when clambering over some rocks on the way to the lookout, I fell awkwardly and ended up with a massive gash in my leg. Fail.
That evening, whilst playing Scrabble, I again got yelled at by the manager, this time for sitting on a table
The following day was slightly more eventful in that I went for my very first surf lesson. Agnes Water is the last place on the East Coast where you can safely swim in the sea. Beyond towards the tropics, you're likely to get munched by a shark or fall prey to a stinger (jellyfish) you get all sorts of horrible ones out here. So after grabbing a board, there were around twenty five of us, cramped in one corner of the huge beach with only two instructors between us. So it was hardly a surf lesson at all, more like a complete melee. Everyone else seemed to get the hang of it, except me, because quite frankly, I just couldn't be bothered. The number of people who repeatedly got in my way drove me half demented so I gave up and ended up bodyboarding instead
At one point, when I told someone to get out of my way, one of the instructors came up to me and shouted at me for 'talking too much?!' I mean, whaaaaaaat? He should have been more concerned with the fact that I could barely even get on my bloody surfboard than reprimanding me for telling some eejit to move it! At one point, I merrily lay on my board and let it carry me all the way back to shore, it was great! This was however accompanied by some seriously unimpressed looks from the lifeguard on the beach!
So all in all, a tad of fail. I think that is well and truly the end of my dabbling in surfing.
In the afternoon, it rained. If Agnes Water is boring when its sunny, you can only imagine how dull it is when it's peeing down. I literally sat in the library all afternoon, probably the highlight of the whole town in a bid to try and avoid the douchebag hostel manager who it seemed enjoyed shouting at everyone, not just me.
My bus to Airlie Beach couldn't come quickly enough, I cannot tell you.
Lesson learned: do not go to a town because it has a cool name. Nine times out of ten, it'll be a let down of epic proportions as muggins here discovered. Oh dear :(