Taj n that
Trip Start
May 27, 2008
1
5
37
Trip End
May 24, 2009
Agra,
Uttar Pradesh,
India
Thursday, June 19, 2008
So il start with the post office, ive sent off a package containing a few bits and bobs for the family back home, but as it turns out the agra central postmaster deals with hundreds of stupid westerner tourists on a daily basis, and thus has a fuse akin to that of a .....
So after all my items had been checked, probed, double checked and a few refused (perfume = bomb dont ya know!!) i got handed off to another of the lackeys that work under the custom officer, whilst he went to do much more pressing issues he assured me, like drinking chai and arguing with the cleaner.
This isnt where i got upset, the part where i got left waiting for twenty minutes whilst the lackey argued the toss with the guy who processes the barcode voucher wasnt either, suffice to say the stray dog that followed me INTO THE POST OFFICE wasnt an instrumental part of this either, what was then?
Well the lackey guy would come back and forth, asking me stupid pointless questions, blabbing on and on and on about nothing in particular, unfortunately he was sitting on my left hand side and i couldnt understand a bloody word! (as most of you probably know im deaf in this ear), so i take the time to slowly and kindly explain this to the guy, oh ok, each time it doesnt register, theres a language barrier as well but thats fine as it would be just plain rude to presume someone would speak english.
What was not fine however, was when the customs officers translated this for him, aha lightbulb switches on above his head, problem solved so i thought and i carry on talking to the custom officer whilst the lackey goes on a mission to find something else out. Several minutes later im mid sentence trying to explain about the perfume when i feel my ear being grabbed, this was followed by the lackey physically literally leaning into my inner canal and SHOUTING
EXCUSE ME SIR DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE AIRMAIL OR SEAMAIL THANK YOU PLEASE RUPEES PAY NOW SIR!
Im being honest when i say this is the first time ive lost my temper in india, autorickshaw drivers trying to con me, fair enough, tramps beggars mugger pickpockets, they exist everywhere and you learn to put up with them, commission conners, dodgy hotel owners and unsavoury characters abound in the midday heat and its easy to see how people lose their cool, so i thought it was rather ironic i reached my boiling point in an air conditioned post office at 8am.
Not that i did anything untowards, aside from physically grabbing him the scruff of the neck (when you can actually hear the words vibrating through your bonce in an ear without a hearing nerve..your making wayyyy too much noise....so im putting this down as just a reflex reaction, not necessarily the best reaction id admit) and offering him a few choice words about disabilitys and basic manners, the guy got it much worse from his superiors anyway and i decided to not let it affect the rest of my stay further, aside from unloading this six paragraph rant on my blog. woops. RANT OVER!
The rest of my stay accumulated in an awesome night overlooking the taj with some quite dodgyly aqquired bottles of kingfisher and 3 charming american lasses from texas (ye ha banjos cowboys etc etc etc) and laterly joined by one of their brothers who wasnt quite so friendly, and probably understandably so!
Yesterday i did a day tour of agra, taking in the massive red fort that sprawls for miles and offers lots of lovely shade from the heat as well as some great views of the taj, as well as some royal gardens that are tended to by individual gardeners armed with mini scyles (spelling).
I then made my way to the baby taj mahal, a small version of the original in which the creator called akbar lies inside his tomb. Entering from one of the side doors i realised id forgotten to take off my sandals (big no no) and upon walking back out i slipped on the wet marble with the true finesse of a typical lee male and landed square on my arse, im currently rocking a cricket ball sized bruise on my thigh, i think this was akbars way of saying oi you cheeky sod, dont forget to remove your footwear at holy sights!
Finally the taj mahal, well i was crowded and stared at by indians who had obviously never seen a westerner before, they all wanted to say hello shake my hands pose for photos with me try on my sunglasses etc etc etc it really was a magical occasion, and just when you thought it couldnt get any better the heavens opened and we were treated to thunder and lightning and a good soaking, the majority of the locals sought cover under the archways that lead to the taj whilst the stupid tourists ran round like loons lapping up the cool monsoonal weather.
Talking of which, when it rains here the streets literally become rivers, ive never seen anything like it. I definately got caught up in the moment at the taj yesterday and ive been walking round like a grinning loon since. Tonight i head to delhi (gulp) and then either west to Varnasi or north to the himalayas, ah its a tough life. Love to all, even the post office lackey (but i secretly hope you got fired you gooch sniffer!)
