You know you are back in England when...
Trip Start Oct 06, 2004
324Trip End Ongoing
...you arrive at Heathrow late at night, looking forward to watch the rerun of England versus Sweden in the World Cup on BBC, but decide not to bother since 22 football nutters (and a referee, and Beckenbauer who seems to be everywhere these days) has already called their friends and let everyone aboard know the final result before the plane has even reached the gate.
...you step out of the airport and it rain cats, dogs, rabbits, foxes and squirrels... and Rooney's.
...the taxi driver taking you to the hotel gives you 107 reasons in 19 minutes why Sven Gøran Eriksson is the wrong man for the job. The trip actually took 40 minutes, he spent the other 21 minutes telling me how I had ruined his day since he missed the second half while waiting for my delayed arrival from Madrid.
...you find 59 Wayne Rooney look-alikes/wannabes in the hotel pub when arriving from the airport, all discussing what they would have done (that "Goran" isn't doing) in order to repeat something that happened 40 years ago.
...the receptionist at the hotel ask you if you have been to the hotel before. No, never. Ok, let me give you a rundown of the place. You can drink in the hotel pub until midnight. If you want to keep drinking after that, then you'll have to talk to the manager. That's about it really. Enjoy your stay. England drew by the way, in case you didn't know...
...you spend 93 minutes driving a distance that in a country like Norway would take about 25 minutes.
...you realize how much Spanish TV actually sucks. BBC rocks most of the time.
...the curry is heavenly!!!
...you find carpets on the bathroom floor (and sometimes even in the kitchen).
...you wake up Saturday morning thinking you are back in Madrid because the sun hits you right in the face.
...you return home to Madrid with no photos (well to be fair, I spent most of my time in Reading where I have lived for close to five years).
...you still have a jolly good time.