Schleswig Holstein Helga gone missing.

Trip Start Oct 06, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Argentina  ,
Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I have had enough rest, so on my last day in Bariloche I decide to go on a day trip to pleasant, but touristy San Martin de los Andes, visiting Villa la Angostura and the Seven Lakes on the way. It's a nice enough trip and the weather is just perfect, but I'm still not overly impressed. Guess I have been spoiled by some incredible scenery lately, as well as being used to similar nature from back home and from my time living in Seattle. Three things does however make it a memorable trip. First, we cross what's considered to be the world's shortest river. The Correntoso River, connecting Lago Correntoso and Lago Nahuel Huapi. Second, next to the road there's a tiny stream called Arroyo Partido, about a meter wide or so. At this particular place the stream splits into two smaller streams, and the funny thing is that the water from the left stream end up in the Atlantic Ocean while the right end up in the Pacific Ocean. The stream to the left looks quite a bit bigger than the one to the right, but I guess that can be easily explained. A tiny H2O molecule is floating down an Andean stream without a care in it's life. Suddenly it gets to a fork in the stream... Shit, I'm too far to the right, I'm never going to make the left stream.

"Hey you, get out of the way! I'm trying to make the left stream here."

"Well so are we, so just get in line."

The intersection gets closer and closer...

"Hey guys, hurry up!"

"Shut up you imbecile, there's a complete gridlock further down."

"Still water?"

"Yeah, pretty close to it anyway."

Shit, here's the intersection. I'm almost there, but this line is moving way too slow. Aargh! I'm going to hit the rocks on the island. Phew, just steered clear of the rocks. But it doesn't matter anymore. I missed the left stream. My life is ruined. It's the stream less travelled for me, but that's not what I wanted this time. My remaining years I'll have to spend with penguins, the Humboldt Current and Chilean fishermen in wool jumpers. No white sandy beaches, samba, surf, margaritas and tiny bikinis/speedos for me. I feel like crying my soon to be salty tears...

Third. And last, but not least. On this particular day, lots of people want to do the day trip to San Martin de los Andes. Hence the tour company have to take us in two minibuses. In one of the buses, there's two couples and ten single beautiful girls from all over the world. Try and imagine a mixed Swedish-Brazilian volleyball team touring South America without their head coach, and in desperate need for a post-match massage specialist. You got the image, good, continue reading. In the second bus there's six middle-aged couples, as well as a terribly annoying 65 year old lady from Germany. Wonder what bus they'll put me in?

"Why don't you have any hair, I don't like that. It makes you look like a hooligan."

"Do I know you Helga?"

"You should wear gloves, it'z cold outside. Didn't you learn anyzing from your mother?"


"Are you one of those guys who don't work, and spend all their time travelling around ze world? Shame on you if you are. When I grew up...blah, blah, blah."

"Whatever Gerda."

"Today's generation doesn't know...blah, blah, blah."


"Do you have an education at all?"

"Achtung baby!"

"Open ze window, it'z so hot."

"Jada masa."

"You probably don't even have a wife, how old are you, about 45?"

"Watch it Sigfrieda."

"Shut ze window, it'z too windy."

"You should try "Bitte" or "Por favor" one day Engelbertine?"

"He iz driving horribly fast izn't he?"

"I can walk faster you stupid cow."

"Ask ze driver to stop for tea."

"Sure Griselda. Jorge, más rápidamente por favor. Vamos!"

An hour later...

"I don't understand thiz splitting stream concept."

"Well here's the deal. One stream ends up in the Atlantic Ocean and the other in the Pacific Ocean. How hard can it be Gertrude?"

"How do you know? Are you trying to be ze intelligent professor now?"

"Just take my word for it...., bitch."

"Is ze Pacific Ocean close by ze way?"

"Sure. Do you see the old tree down there. It's just a couple of minutes walk past it. You should go check it out, it's beautiful. Just follow the left stream."

Ten minutes later...

"Esteve, where is your friend, the old German lady?"

"Eh Jorge, she wanted to stay the night in San Martin de los Andes. Didn't she tell you?"

"No she didn't. By the way, it's still a 15 minutes drive until we reach San Martin de los Andes."

"Eh, she wanted to walk. Complained about being carsick or something.

"Okey. Vamos!"
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