I decided to give myself an early birthday present and go to the spa here and get a facial. It was the same price as across the street and I felt a little more like sticking close by again today. I had a noon appointment for a "jet lag special". This would include a 60 min massage and a 30 min facial
. It was a little higher then I was planning to pay, but still it looked to be a posh place and I have never done anything like this at a hotel before..probably a reason. I will tell you that I was not totally relaxed and I contribute it to all things that happened in that room. If you are modest, don't keep reading...it is hysterical and a bit embarrassing!
Ok so I did my workout and took a quick shower before my appointment. I even shaved my legs. She wasn't getting lucky, but I thought that it would be best to not start a brush fire on the 4th floor. I walked in and they greeted me with tea and LUCY! She was a taller asian woman with a big smile and "interesting" teeth. I am thinking "she is not going to bite you". I walked down the low lit hallway and passed rooms titled "Health", "happiness"and clearly my room was "wealth"....I should have known. I got in the little room with low bird chirpy music and the room smelled like lavender and lemon with a mini tea pot sitting to my side. Lucy handed me a small glass cup with hot liquid that tasted like roses and honey. Not too bad. I took a sip and sat down....here is where the language barrier takes over. There was a lot of nodding and toothy smiles and she insisted on taking my sandals off and putting slippers on my feet. Ok, thanks. She asked if I needed to shower and I told her I had just taken one. She asked me something and I said yes...apparently the question that was asked was " do you want to wear underwear?" I answered correctly, but then she ran into the back room and grabbed a pair of blue mesh boxers that maybe fit a toddler
. She told me to get undressed, put the "pants on" and lay down. She left and I got undressed and attempted to put on the mesh shorts...looking good until you sit and blow the ass out of the shorts...feeling slim at that moment and thinking "tomorrow I will do 2 hrs of cardio". So I get rid of the cocktail napkin shorts and keep the bottoms I had on. I get under the towel and she come barging into the room. She left the door open and whips the towel off me. Well I guess that modesty is lost at this point. I am now topless and face up and she remembers that there is a door open and nods and smiles some more. She has me start on my belly and she pulls the towel back to my waist then tugs at my underwear and now I am naked....really feeling exposed here Lucy...not to mention afraid that I may get gassy. I take a deep breath as a warm bottle of oil is poured on my low back...and it was on my back but has found my crack and is gone...I said a prayer that Lucy was not going in search of that oil! She comes back around the table and makes a confused sound and attempts the pool again! Success because she starts the massage at last. I am thinking " I wish I could get adjusted" just as Lucy puts pressure on my right flank and pushes on my tailbone and "pop"..thanks for that L3 adjustment! She works her way up and gets T6-7 and T1 area....Man that was awesome. She keeps working on my left low back then my right low back and all of a sudden I feel the table move..that's right folk..she is on the table. The next 20 minutes included Miss Lucy perched between my legs using elbow, hands and I think a chin to reek havoc on my back....I have just gotten used to an asian on my back when she says "excuse me madam..you so tight in neck..probably husband...you need 30 more min of massagie" Now I have gone from almost relaxed to getting a sales pitch and I look up and she is looking at me in the mirror straddling me
. I took a deep breath and kindly say no and put my head back down. I had about 30 minutes left and here I think I am going to flip over....nope...butt massage. I think she was confused because I have never clenched so hard in my life....she was a bit too close to the "dark side" and I think she got the hint! I flipped over and she did my legs and arms and I was thinking this was close to being over....NOPE...Miss Lucy pulled my towel down to my lap and starting banging on my tummy. I felt jiggly and just wanted to laugh. The entire time I am thinking "please do not grab the girls"! She never went there...thank GOD! She then gave me sales pitch #2. "you have dimple in leg. we have wrap and scrub to help". Ok, so let me get this straight? You have told me my "husband" is making my neck tight, you have tried to check my oil and sell me on another 30 min of massage that was more expensive then my mortgage and now you tell me I have cellulite....Miss Lucy you are pushing the limit. After I just stare at her, I think that she gets the idea and moves on. She now tells me it is time for the facial portion. I am on my back and she proceeds to wash my face and massage it for 30 minutes. It was heavenly. In true steph form I got a massive zit on my chin yesterday to which Jackie Keiser named it "Godzilla". Pretty close. Lucy tells me "no touchy" and I was wishing she was going to do a deep cleanse and clean out my pores. Nope, but it was nice. In the midst of all this she has a mask on....and I relaxed. I open my eyes afterward and she is leaning over me smiling "AAAAHHHH"
! See tells me to go take a shower. Ok, I go get in the shower that is in an attached bathroom. It has a rainfall shower head and I am in heaven...and then there is Lucy. She is asking if I need help. Nope, darlin I have this one under control! I hurried and got dressed and she walked me to the front desk. She stood by as I took pictures and paid and was really close to me the whole time. I did not tip because they add 15% Gratuity to the bill. She walked me to the elevator and kept saying " you come see Miss Lucy ok ? Stephanie ( Steph-a-knee)!" I think this is why they put me in the "wealth" room. Yikes....I may go across the street next time!
(note from me: I wrote this while sitting the lounge upstairs and burst out laughing a few times. seriously how does this stuff happen to me?)
I decided to forgo a nap. I worked on this blog and headed up to the 24th floor lounge and had a bite to eat and a couple glasses of wine. I did drink water and tea as well and was surprised I did not float away. They have happy hour there from 530-7 and had sushi and noodles and CHEESE. Man I miss cheese! I watched as the lights on the top of the sky scrapers came on in downtown Shanghai and was in awe of just how much traffic there was! We are moving hotels tomorrow and the new one is closer to the main areas of attraction. I am looking forward to the adventure!
Marlin came home from work late and was beyond exhausted. He asked what I wanted to dinner and I asked him if he picked up a Hot and Ready on the way home? Nope but there is a Papa Johns about a block down. We met up with pete and walked over and ordered "western style pizza"! It was good. Marlin amazed us with his mad Chinese skills and the poor waitress was so confused! Oh well I got a piece of stuffed crust pizza and forgot how much I love carbs!
A few days ago we walked across the street form the hotel and we looked into how much a massage would be. It was anywhere from $12-$100. I can honestly say that I have not been feeling like leaving the hotel alone. I know it is safe, but not being confident in the language has kept me close by. I at no time have felt like I was in harms way. Well I got up this morning pretty confident that I am now on Marlin's sleep schedule. It is amazing that doing nothing makes you tired! Granted I did keep pretty busy at the gym when I realized that I was on the treadmill for an hour watching CNN cover Oklahoma and the disasters that was left behind. Mother Nature is pretty humbling!