What price freedom... the return to joy

Trip Start Feb 01, 2009
Trip End Mar 06, 2009

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

I~m good. Flaviano swears black and blue he had my back and that at all times he made sure someone was with me, which is true in retrospect, but at the time because he didn~t tell me I was terrified. The point is I don~t actually trust him anymore and I don~t feel the friendship and no matter what he says to me now, its over!. He really wants to talk in person but I~ve told him MAYBE when I return in two weeks. MAYBE!

Ive had a few days of solitude, just needed to let go and move on. Neidi really helped us yesterday get our abadas and she will greet us at the airport when we return on the 28th. Her and all the rest, Denise, Jailton, Beto etc minus Flaviano!

Its been a strange few days. Yesterday I turned up to Ujamas studio and ended up helping the crew fight a fire that was raging up to his house. We put it out but were exhausted afterwards. Its not actually his teeth that are hurt - he dislocated his arm. Dors has been having a hard time too and things are going wrong for her. Its time for all that to end. Enough of that rubbish, it doensn~t have power anymore! All that ill luck can go away, it has done what it needed to do, I needed to move to another place, I~ve moved, so it can go away!!!!

Anway, Last night I had the strangest dream that I knew all the orixas dances and this morning in my sleep I actually heard myself singing their songs. I did my lesson with Mestre king today and he didn~t teach us the dances - he just played the rhythms and sang their songs and I knew them... how is that! I actually knew them and danced them! It was joyous and I think he knew because he smiled and laughed and made jokes about the estrangeira knowing what was going on.

It was a joyous lesson and I realised i~m free to move on and that I have every thing I need. The price of freedom is eternal vigillance! moving on past those things that hold you back, bring you down and stop you from growing.

I asked Mestre King if I coudl return next year and train with him for 6 months and he said I could always return to train with him. (big smile here). Marlene has organised a house for me really close to the escola de danca where Mestre King teaches and Neidi has said that the Mestre in her neighbourhood would also like me to return there to teach english and to work with the local kids giving them education for a future. I will use my social ecology training to work with them.

It is all working out. What price freedom! Open hearted love - even if it~s tough love...

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stellahands on

OMG, i just found your blog site and read the whole lot. Ok so no wonder i haven't heard from you, wow you've been busy. LOL Hope all has worked out, F sounds like he's done his dash. Look after No 1, and have a great time, when it happens you'll know it don't worry, sounds as though you are and you know. miss you, glad i've found the blog, I'll have to have lunch with leah and angela tomorrow to update them. we were wondering about what you were up to. Take care, i'll keep checking, have fun, post card please.

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