Trying to get to Nicaragua
Trip Start
Jan 01, 2007
1
55
141
Trip End
Ongoing
Choluteca,
Honduras
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This morning we left Suchitoto in an attempt to get to Nicaragua. I will give you the last line in the book...we did not make it!
The bus from Suchitoto to San Martin, the town just outside San Salvador, dropped us off on the side of the Pan American Highway. It was our job to get to the other side of this very busy four lane highway with all our gear and flag down the next bus to San Miguel. After waiting 10 minutes for traffic to subside and doing our best Frogger impression we made it without trouble. After waiting in the median of this busy International Highway, within 15 minutes the bus arrived and we were on our way. It was a pretty uneventful 2 hour ride and we were in San Miguel by 3:30 pm. We were told by the bus driver that it was only 1 hour to the frontera (border with Honduras) and he asked someone to show us where to pickup the next bus. Again the people of San Salvador are very nice. However, they are not good at remembering how long it takes to get somewhere.
We had read in the Lying Planet guidebook that the border closes at 5pm and we were quite concerned that we would not make it in time. When the bus sat around for 30 minutes were really began to sweat. We strained to look around San Miguel for a hotel but could not see any from the bus. We also did not want to risk getting out and not having a room to stay in or the bus leaving without us. Our fate was now in the hands of the bus driver.
We finally left around 3pm and it took almost 2 hours to get to the border.
Pan American Highway
Luck for us it was still open. Thanks for making me sweat lying planet. The border town of El Amatillo is not a place you want to get stuck. We are tired and a little lazy so we hop on a bike taxi to take us to the border and across. There is no immigration office for El Salvador so we went directly to the Honduran office. These really nice people charged us $3 US each to cross into their country even though we were just passing through. Thanks.We crossed without a problem and grabbed the first bus we saw to Choluteca (Honduras), also the last and only bus, and got on. This bus was filled with all the locals that work on either side of the border and were headed home. Some had already started their happy hour and were a bit rowdy. One guy was even smoking and facing the wrong way having a great conversation with the people behind him. They were so lively that this was the first time I was actually nervous on a bus in Central America. It was 5:30pm and Kay and I plus Crazy Tim were the only gringos on the bus and we had a two hour journey ahead of us.
Crazy Tim (originally from Michigan, USA) I´m pretty certain is really crazy or off his meds or chemically imbalanced or something. He asks me where I am from and then proceeds to tell me that he has just left his woman (his words) and two kids, age 3 and 1, behind in El Salvador for good. He said that sometimes it just works out that way and thats life. Huh? He also tells me he left because he is not a wind up toy to be played with everyday that he is a realist.
Pan American Highway view
Huh? He said life is short and you have to take care of yourself that you should not let anyone dictate who you are. I´m sure you are thinking Dad of the year nominee just like me. He then goes on about a conspiracy between his ex-wife (a different one) in the US and his mother-in-law in El Salvador and some other things I will not repeat. Either way he is crazy. He is on the bus with nothing bus a small grocery bag and said he left it all behind. He also says he has been in El Salvador for 5 years but only speaks Spanglish. No wonder his El Salvadorian in-laws love him. This part is classic. He said he is going to call his mom in the morning and ask her to western union him some money. I would guess this guy is in his mid to late forties. Wacko. I try to ignore him for most of the ride but he continues to talk in crazy cliches. Shoot me now...oh wait I´m in Honduras and that might happen. Forget I said that.About an hour and a half into the ride the bus stops at a roadside tienda and the half the people plus the bus driver get off. We know this is not Choluteca but do not understand where everyone is going. About 20 minutes goes by and the bus driver tells us they are not going any further and we have to get off. Repeate Por Favor! Get off the bus. What the F@$% are you talking about. We paid for the entire way. At this point they flag down another bus and have us run with 6 other locals to catch it. When we get there it is bursting at the seams and we cannot fit. The bus starts to pull away and we start to yell. The bus slows then pulls away really fast as we yell and curse at it while all the passengers stare at us. Go figure the only ones not to get on the bus are the gringos.Now Kay, myself and crazy Tim start to walk back to our original bus and yell at the bus driver. I´m actually controlling myself from physically hurting him. We have no idea where we are or how far it is to Choluteca. And it is very dark and we are at some random food stall in the middle of nowhere.
The bus driver ignores us but flags down another bus for us to get on. We get on it but yell at him and say you are paying for this not us. Kay looks back and notices a random cross-dressing male-female (a He dressed like a She in a miniskirt and Britney Spears style half shirt) walking towards us calling something to us. As I´m getting on the bus I notice that crazy Tim is getting into the cab of a tractor trailer behind us. Now I know he is crazy. Once on the bus I ask the guy next to me how long to Choluteca and he tells me 40 minutes. Wow, those jerks stranded us in the middle of nowhere 40 minutes from our destination at 8pm. Really nice guys. I was not too high on Honduras to begin with and now I just do not like it. (This will be a theme for the rest of the journal)
We finally get to Choluteca around 8:45 pm and are dropped off by the market in a shady part of town. Everyone there tries to get us into their cab or take a pickup to the Nicaraguan border. There is no way we are doing that because we were told the border town of Guasaule was very dangerous at night. We plan to wait until morning. After we regroup we grab a cab and ask him to take us to hotel in the Lonely Planet book. We pull up front and it is closed. Sweet! We ask him to take us to the next hotel, Hotel Bonsai, and it is open. Yeah! We go in and ask if they have a room. Yes they do. How much? Who cares we will take it! We settle into the small dirty not so nice room for $15 bucks and venture out to grab something to eat. The only thing open is a Chinese food shop across the street. Maybe they are the owners of Bonsai. The place is air conditioned and looks clean and we have no other option so we grabbed a table. We had a lovely especial chow mein while watching a Chinese cooking show and listing to the owners mix Chinese and Spanish together. Surreal. The town is dark and desolate but we need some water so we wander down the street. To our surprise we come across a little park that is well lit and full of kids skateboarding and roller-blading on little paved paths. This night could not get any stranger. We finally found a pharmacy where we could buy water and went to bed.
I know this is long but hang in there!
In the morning we are up and out by 7:30 am and grab a cab to the market to catch a van to the border. The van is our only option because today is Holy Thursday (part of Semana Santa) and the buses are not running. As a matter of fact it appears the entire country is shut down until Monday because of Semana Santa (Holy Week or Easter). We get in the van that already has two local girls in it and wait for it to fill up so we can leave. We ask the girls how much and they tell us 25 Limps which is about $1.50US. Cool. After almost an hour the van now has 10 people in it. They are all local woman and us. The bus driver comes over and explains that because there are no buses running today and we do not have an alternative the price is now 30 limps. Nice guy. Before we can really protest the price goes to 35 limps. Wait a minute! Then within a minute he tells the locals it is 35 Limps for them but $5 US each for Kay and I.. You have got to be kidding. We ask why and he just ignores us. Thats it we are getting out. Kay goes to try and get a cab and I make him take our bags off the roof of the van. The assistant tries to get me to stay and I tell him no way give me my bags. Bags in hand we get a cab and promptly pay $15 US to get to the border. It is the principle of the situation. We are not going to reward that type of behavior and we also firmly believe that he was just taking advantage of the women and gringos. It seems to be a theme with the men in Central America. All the women do all the work and they sit around doing nothing. Now I really do not like Honduras and I would recommend you skip it and go to El Salvador instead. When in El Salvador get on the nice King Quality bus that blows right through Honduras on its way to Nicaragua.
We finally make it to the border and to add insult to injury the Honduran border guy tries to charge us another $3 US each to leave the country. Knowing they are not supposed to charge an exit fee (this is our second trip through Honduras), Kay argues with the agent, showing him our receipts from yesterday. The guy lets us go. However we still have to pay $7 US each to get into Nicaragua. This has been our worst journey so far. We grab another bike cab and head to the bus stop. When we get there a guy directs us to a chicken bus when I hear my name called out. It is Crazy Tim!! He is sitting in a van on the other side of the parking lot. We go over and talk to him and find out the van is headed to Leon and only cost 45 Cordobas (about $3 each) and it will get us there two hours earlier than the bus. Excellent, our luck has changed. I already like Nicaragua.
Crazy Tim tells us that last night he hitched a ride in the trailer tractor and the driver took him home. He spent the night in the cab of the trailer and in the morning, the family gave him a whole cantelope for breakfast. He then hitch-hiked the rest of the way to the Nicaraguan border where we found him in the van.
The van fills up with locals and on the way to Leon Crazy Tim spouts off in Spanglish about GW and the war in Iraq and a whole lot of other crap. He also mentions he has been telling the CIA about the problems down here but they will not listen to him. Kay asks him why he did not stay longer in Honduras. He said that the brother of his American ex-wife is married to a Honduran and that there is a consipiracy against him in Honduras. I am now thinking he is a paranoid schizophrenic and I need to get as far away from his as possible. Kay wonders if he is on the FBI´s America´s Most Wanted List.
We finally get to the bus station in Leon and I hand Crazy Tim his plastic bag and he gets off the van. That is the last we ever see of him, luckily! By the time we got out of the bus he had disappeared. To where I do not know. Maybe the mother ship. We shrugged our shoulders and took a cab into town where we settle into the Bigfoot Hostel. This has been an insane 24 hours and I need a few beers.
Cheers for now.
Frank
