An eventful week

  Jerusalem, Israel
Monday, September 24, 2007

September 21-22, 2007

As some of you may be aware, Evette & I have been discussing the possibility of adoption for some time now.  Well, sometimes God smiles upon you sooner than you expect.  As I was exploring adoption agencies online, I came across a desperate request.  A baby boy had been found abandoned in a dumpster, right here in Jerusalem.  He was sick, but the agency found a good foster care home, and with proper medical attention he is now in perfect health.  The foster family was unable to keep him, so they were looking for an adoptive family.  These things happen much more quickly here in Israel.  We contacted them & they asked us to come see him.  So, not so long story short, as of Friday morning, September 21, 2007, Evette & I became the proud mommies to a healthy, 10 lb baby boy.  They cannot specify an exact date of birth, but he is between 3-4 months old.  We decided, that since our wedding was 3 ½ months ago, we would make his birthday be June 3rd, the same as our wedding day. We could have allowed him to go into another foster home until after Sukkoth, as we had finally planned our honeymoon.  Several of Evette's classmates gave us money for our wedding specifically for a honeymoon in Northern Israel.  I had a great mountain cabin reserved on Mt. Hermon as well as a rental car.  Well, we could not stand the thought of this little guy continuing to have trauma & inconsistency & no sense of a true, loving home.  His first 3-4 months of life he was abandoned, and then shuffled around in foster care, etc...So we are postponing our trip.   We will have many opportunities to plan trips after he is adjusted & settled in his new home. Being the proud glowing mommies that we are, we have taken many pictures & I could not decide which one to post within this listing.  So, when you are done reading, you can click on the photo album section & see our adorable, precious little boy.  We cannot wait for you all to meet him.

So, tonight at sundown, not only is Shabbat, but also begins the holiday of Yom Kippur.  Yom Kippur is probably the most important holiday of the Jewish year. Many Jews who do not observe any other Jewish custom will refrain from work, fast and/or attend services on this day.  Yom Kippur means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what the holiday is. It is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year.  To atone for sins against another person, you must first seek reconciliation with that person, righting the wrongs you committed against them if possible. That must all be done before Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is a complete Sabbath; no work can be performed on that day. It is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on Yom Kippur. It is a complete, 25-hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before Yom Kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of Yom Kippur.

As always, any of these restrictions can be lifted where a threat to life or health is involved. In fact, children under the age of nine and women in childbirth are not permitted to fast, even if they want to. Older children and women from the third to the seventh day after childbirth are permitted to fast, but are permitted to break the fast if they feel the need to do so.  People with other illnesses should consult a physician and a rabbi for advice.  For example, since Evette has diabetes, it would be dangerous for her to fast.  Typically, what people do, like in Evette's situation, is not to sit down & eat full meals, but small things like cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, cereal or granola bars to sustain her through the day.  I totally fasted the entire time except for water. 

From the start until finish of Yom Kippur, it is quite a unique experience.  There is not a car on the street.  Thousands of people, dressed mostly in white, walk down the middle of the streets.  It is the one day parents say to their children, "go play in the street."  Literally, it's like a festival in the streets; children riding bikes, scooters, walking dogs...we even saw 3 kids get off their bikes & lie down in the middle of the street,  just because they could!

The evening service that begins Yom Kippur is commonly known as Kol Nidre. Almost all of this service is done in song.  "Kol nidre" means "all vows," and in this prayer, we ask G-d to annul all personal vows we may make in the next year that we do not/cannot uphold.  It refers only to vows between the person making them and G-d, such as "If I pass this test, I'll pray every day for the next 6 months!"  This prayer has often been held up by anti-Semites as proof that Jews are untrustworthy (we do not keep our vows). In fact, the reverse is true: we make this prayer because we take vows so seriously that we consider ourselves bound even if we make the vows under duress or in times of stress when we are not thinking straight. This prayer gave comfort to those who were converted to Christianity by torture in various inquisitions, yet felt unable to break their vow to follow Christianity.

There are many additions to the regular liturgy (there would have to be, to get such a long service...grin). Perhaps the most important addition is the confession of the sins of the community.  Note that all sins are confessed in the plural (we have done this, we have done that), emphasizing communal responsibility for sins.

There are two basic parts of this confession: Ashamnu, a shorter, more general list (we have been treasonable, we have been aggressive, we have been slanderous...), and Al Heit, a longer and more specific list (for the sin we sinned before you forcibly or willingly, and for the sin we sinned before you by acting callously...) Frequent requests for forgiveness are interspersed in these prayers. There's also a catch-all confession: "Forgive us the breach of positive commands and negative commands, whether or not they involve an act, whether or not they are known to us."

It is interesting to note that these confessions do not specifically address the kinds of ritual sins that some people think are the be-all-and-end-all of Judaism. There is no "for the sin we have sinned before you by eating pork, and for the sin we have sinned against you by driving on Shabbat" (though obviously these are implicitly included in the catch-all). The vast majority of the sins enumerated involve mistreatment of other people, most of them by (offensive speech, mocking, slander, and swearing falsely, to name a few). These all come into the category of sin known as lashon-hara(the evil tongue), which is considered a very serious sin in Judaism.

The concluding service of Yom Kippur, known as Ne'ilah, is one unique to the day. It usually runs about 1 hour long. The ark (a cabinet where the scrolls of the Torah are kept) is kept open throughout this service, thus you must stand throughout the service. There is a tone of desperation in the prayers of this service. The service is sometimes referred to as the closing of the gates; think of it as the "last chance" to get in a good word before the holiday ends. The service ends with a very long blast of the shofar. 

Friday night, we walked to services together.  The woman who led the Kol Nidre service had a nice voice, but not like my Evette.  The past 2 high holidays, when Evette did Kol Nidre, I had tears in my eyes.  As most of you know, her voice is amazing! 

Saturday morning, I decided not to go to services with Evette in the morning, but I would go to the evening service.  I took our new baby boy & walked Evette part of the way to synagogue.  Oh, I'm sure all of you curious George's have already looked at the pics of our boy, so I now will tell you his name is Rascal.  In Hebrew, his name is Mumzer.  Those of you, who know your Hebrew, know why we can't call him that here in Israel!  So, where was I?  Ah yes, Rascal & I walked Evette partway to synagogue.  Rascal, we assume because of his traumatic beginning, is afraid of the outside & walking, so quite often he will just lie down on the sidewalk.  He is terrified of cars.  We try to take him on several small walks each day to get him used to it & see how much there is for a little puppy to explore.  Anyway, once again I digress... so we have walked Evette downhill past this little park where Evette would ALWAYS say "if we had a dog, we could walk him here...but we don't have a dog."  She continued on to synagogue & I proceeded to drag (literally) Rascal back home.  In the meantime, I'm feeling guilty that I did not go with Evette.  We get about halfway up the hill (those of you who have been to Jerusalem know what I'm talking about when I say "hill"), across from the Jerusalem Theater & I see a woman, I'd say, in her late 50's, in obvious distress.  She had a cane & would take 2 steps & then grab onto the wall, looking like she was going to fall over.  Rascal & I walked over to her & I asked if she was ok.  She started sobbing & then started telling me how adorable Rascal was.  I asked if she needed any help & this is what she told me: 

"I am from Seattle.  My husband forced me to move here 5 years ago.  My children & grandchildren all live in Seattle, so I did not want to leave, but he told me, 'I'm going with or without you.'  I love my husband, so I came.  He is Orthodox & I am not.  We agreed before we got married that he would go to his synagogue & I would go to mine.  About 1 year ago, I became very ill.  The doctor's told me I do not have much time left.  As time goes on, I even need assistance dressing, bathing, etc...  I told my husband that the only thing I want to do before I die, to feel like I've lived a full life, is to attend the Great Synagogue of Jerusalem on King George Street for a Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur service.  Rosh Hashanah, he promised, but it came & went.  Last night, he promised to take me for Kol Nidre services & he did not, so when he promised for today, the last chance for me as I will not live to see another High Holiday, I was sure he would do it.   My friends all told me not to trust him & that they would take me, but I wanted to believe my husband.  When I woke up this morning, he was gone.  I was so disappointed, but determined I would get there without him.  My friends had already left, so I was on my own.  I got myself dressed & I've walked for about 1 ½ hours." I asked "can I do anything to help you?" She said "You are the first person to even ask if I was okay." Now, it was quite hot, I was already dripping with sweat from my walk thus far, and it was approximately 1 ½ miles further to that synagogue.  She was so touched, she cried some more.  So, off we went, the woman on one arm, Rascal on the other, having to stop often so she could catch her breath.  Finally, we arrive.  She was so grateful; she did not know how to express herself.  I asked if she wanted me to wait & help her to get home, but she assured me her friends would help her.  She was just beside herself that she was able to fulfill her dream, despite her husband being a total jerk.  So, as I walk home, my knee is throbbing & I have to carry Rascal as he is now totally refusing to walk, but it's all okay.  My guilt for not going with Evette melted away because I feel like the mitzvah I performed was above & beyond everything.  To complete my mitzvah, I'd like to give her husband a swift kick where the sun doesn't shine, but we can't have everything. 

September 23, 2007

So, now that we have Rascal, we walk several times a day & of course, having such an adorable, precious little boy,  I have met some lovely people who have stopped to pet him & ask about him.  Unfortunately, not everyone I've come across in the past few days has been so lovely.   I WAS UNFORTUNATELY ATTACKED YESTERDAY.  I WAS/AM PRETTY TRAUMATIZED.  YOU KNOW I HAVE A BAD KNEE, RIGHT?  SO SOMETIMES I HAVE TO STOP AND REST ALONG THE WAY.  WELL, YESTERDAY I WAS COMING TO MEET EVETTE AT THE PET STORE TO BUY TOYS & SUPPLIES FOR RASCAL ON ONE OF HER BREAKS FROM PARDES.  JUST ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE I MET HER, AS I WAS WALKING ALONG EMEK REFAIM, I DECIDED TO SIT DOWN AND TAKE A REST.  A CAR FULL OF KIDS BEGAN TO SLOWLY APPROACH, AND I NOTICED THAT ONE OF THEM WAS LEANING OUT THE WINDOW.  AS THEY GOT CLOSER THE GUY LEANING OUT THE WINDOW STARTED SCREAMING SOMETHING AT ME (WHICH OF COURSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND) AND THEN HE FIRED A BASEBALL AT ME.  IT HIT ME SQUARELY IN THE BREAST AT FULL FORCE.  THIS WAS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, IN THE POPULAR RESTAURANT AREA, SO THERE WERE LOTS OF PEOPLE AROUND.  A FEW PEOPLE TRIED TO STOP THE CAR BY JUMPING IN FRONT OF IT AND SCREAMING AT THE KIDS, BUT THE DRIVER KEPT GOING AND GOT AWAY.  IN THE COMMOTION NO ONE GOT THE LICENSE PLATE.  I AM STILL VERY SHAKEN, AND STILL CRYING ON AND OFF.  I KEEP ASKING EVETTE- "WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO MEAN?", AND OF COURSE SHE DOES NOT HAVE AN ANSWER.  WE DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT WAS HATRED FOR BEING A LESBIAN, OR HATRED FOR BEING FAT (WE HAVE PUT UP WITH THE STARES AND THE DISPARAGING COMMENTS MADE ABOUT US BEHIND OUR BACKS, AND IN FRONT OF US. - BUT VIOLENT ATTACKS ARE ANOTHER THING.

Oh yeah, the correct answer for the contest of the last posting is #3; Evette is not a hockey fan.  The other 2 are true.  She did get kicked out of ballet class when she was 8 years old & she did graduate from Charm School in the 7th grade.  The winner is Ari!  Yeah!  She will be receiving her bookmark shortly.

Hebrew Word of the Week:   Hesed= loving kindness.
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