Burning Giraffes and Butterfly Knives

Trip Start Feb 26, 2004

Trip End Nov 16, 2006

Loading Map

Map your own trip!

Flag of Spain and Canary Islands Barcelona, Spain and Canary Islands
Monday, July 24, 2006

"You�ll never be able to be a tourist again."

This is important. When I was in school I was once called in to see the head of the French department. She had one of my French excercise books and questioned why the back of it was filled with drawings I had done of tea kettles. Although there was a semi-reasonable reason for it, she took it as an indication that I wasn�t paying attention. That�s why I�m suprised that so much French has come back to me so quickly.

The train from Italy to France was grand. There were two Turkish girls in my carriage and I tried to stir up a conversation about the occupation of Northern Cyprus. They were totally uninterested and ended up ignoring me and listening to their iPods. Then I chatted to a good American guy from a town in the middle of the States called Hicksville. He was unaware that his town had become a worldwide joke.

But most of the journey was spent talking to a fantastic English girl who hadn�t been home in years. She�s travelled and worked all over and has now reached a routine of working her winters in Austria, and her summers in her own bar in Croatia. She was interesting to talk to and it was easy to see we had a very similar train of thought. But she had years on me, so was able to offer words of wisdom for my future. It was some of the best advice I�ve ever received from somebody who didn�t drive a taxi.

I got off in Nice. I�d heard it was Nice. And some of it was; the pedestranised roads were a delight to walk down.

01 - The Dali museum

But I wasn�t too impressed with the beach. No sand, just rocks. And crowded. The French trains have brought me along the coast and I haven�t been too impressed with any of the beaches. The sand isn�t great and they�re crowded. Rows and rows of beach umbrellas. Has Thailand and the South Pacific left me spoiled and ungrateful? Or does anyone else think these are rubbish? It used to be that you needed alot of money to holiday in the south of France, now all you need is a lack of imagination.

I stayed in Nice a few days to catch up on sleep. The first night I went out partying with some Americans and Canadians. All very nice. One of the Canadians was eager to get in to a fight with a Frenchman though, so alot of my time was spent calming things down in broken French and slurred English. His friend turned to me at one point and said "You�ve got his back right?" Meaning that if this guy who I just met a few hours ago was to get in to a fight, I was supposed to jump in and help. The aggressive guy took this opportunity to come over and ask "Have you got your butterfly knife on you? Something is about to go down."

I took this as my cue to go and mingle. We got talking to some Finnish girls and ended up going nightswimming. "Are our clothes safe on the beach?" Yes dear, don�t worry, those heroine addicts will keep an eye on them, let�s keep swimming.

Fed up with the amount of dog shit in Nice, I spent the rest of my time in Nice talking to room mates and sleeping.

02 - Dali's Tomb

I was woken up at one point by a guy shaking my leg and already in mid-sentence. It appeared to be gibberish, until I woke up a bit more and realised he was American and he said he was dying for a fuck. I�d never seen him before, yet he was in my room, by my bed. This worried me a bit, since I�m pretty. But then I noticed a little Spanish girl in the background, and I began to make sense of what he was saying. This guy had been so horny, desperate and unprepared that he had been forced to go door-to-door around the hostel looking for a condom.

I took an overnight train to Figueres in Spain. This is where Salvador Dali set up his own museum, and where his body now lies - in a tomb tucked neatly at the edge of one of the exhibit rooms. It�s brilliant, and it held my interest like no museum ever has. Alot of very surreal art, but as well as that he is responsible for alot of solid good quality painting. He really is a genius and a lunatic, and I came away very impressed. "I do not take drugs. I am drugs."

I carried on to Barcelona and stayed the night in a good hostel. They have free internet, which is what I�m using now. Unfortunately, they�re fully booked for tonight so I�m about to change hostels, and then I�ll have a proper wander around the town. It seems cool at first glance. Spaniards seem to be making the most of freedom since the departure of Franco by having outrageously bad haircuts. But listening to Spanish girls talking is as intense and comfortable as a vibrating chair.