ChCh-ChCh-ChChanges

"I'm gonna find me a reckless woman,

01 - Me and Nay-Nay down by the vineyards

With thunder and lightning in her thighs."

And I'm on the road. I've bought a Golden Brown Stallion in the form of a $350 car. It's beautiful. I've named it 'Nay-Nay' in tribute to a guy from the bottle factory with a tattooed head and a dubious past. I've driven down to Christchurch and so far not a bother. I don't know anything about cars but this seems fine. It's 2 litres, I think. And my rucksack is 85 litres. So is that good?

I picked up Liam, of Blenheim fame, in Kaikoura so I had company for most of the trip which was good. He had finished work the same time as me but ventured down a few days earlier. I think he's Donegal's Dean Moriarty.

I met up with Angry Anderson when I got here. That's the 4th person on this trip I've met that I used to work with in Equant. He's doing good and seems a lot less angry. His emigration out here, and the end of his 7 year relationship seems to have done him well. He looks infinitely more healthy and happy which is good to see. He let me crash at his house the first night which is even better to see. We went out for a few beers and I came 2nd in a pool competition, winning a pass to the Antarctic center. I also won a pint for doing the best dizzying spin before one of my shots.

With the end of Angry's relationship he's discovered the joys of being single, and has been raving on about it as if its just been invented.

Ironically, I've decided to give up being single and turn my back on the bachelor lifestyle. It was great while it lasted but a change is always good. Sure it was fun being single. But maybe it's getting a bit predictable. You meet girls and compliment their haircut, drop a few quotes from 'Dirty Dancing' and pretend you assumed they had a boyfriend and it's easy. And then if you act like a total prick they like you more.

But if you really like a girl, and you're really nice to them and totally honest with them they go off with some total prick. And I think that's the bit I'm fed up with.

But it has always seemed better then a girlfriend. Things put you off. Like when you're with a girl who's cheating on her boyfriend because he has an ear infection. Or the girl who tells you it's time for you to leave because her boyfriend is about to come home. I stayed a week with a girl in Auckland and it felt like living on eggshells.

One of my mates isn't allowed to answer his phone or reply to text messages when he's around his girlfriend's house. A guy I worked with came out on the piss with us, left his phone in the car, and when he went back to it he had 97 (ninety-seven) missed calls. And what about girls who wait exactly an hour before replying to texts? Or girls who base all their decisions entirely on what their friends say?

But I assume girlfriends are not just an easy way to ruin a lot of good songs...there must be some good points as so many of my friends put themselves through it.

So when you find someone who isn't a total coward, and doesn't seem to model her behaviour on Bathsheba Everdene, and actually seems sane (as suspicious as that may be), and is generally pretty great...you have to pay attention.

So my friend Sophie and I have decided to give one of those girlfriend/boyfriend things a go. You know those things? The ones where the girl tells the guy what to do. Where you go to dinner partys with Pierce and Sinead. When you meet friends you have to arrive late, leave early, or not show up at all. What are they called? Oh yeh, a relationship. We're going to try one of those.