"It's the one percenters..."
Dear Marty,
If my calculations are correct, you should recieve this letter immediately after you saw the DeLorean struck by lightning. First let me assure that I am alive and well. I have been living happily in Melbourne these past couple of months.
The lightning bolt that hit the DeLorean caused a jigowatt overload that shorted out both the electronic system and the flying circuits.
The first impressions of Melbourne were right...it's an amazing city with loads going on. It's only drawback is of course the weather, which often resembles Dublins'.
The apartment has worked out cool and we have no major problems.
Actually, there was some leak from the bathroom and no light in the kitchen for a while. We never really complained as we had been informed that our landlord "should not be crossed". While I can see how this could be the world's most liveable city, Mike was quick to point out that it doesn't feel like that when you're walking on a soaking carpet
and cooking dinner in the dark.
Our housemates are cool, and one of them is slowly becoming a bit of a legend. She's the little sister I never had, and has become a temporary substitue for my biological sister...but with less competition for our parents' affection.
I had been working as a face-to-face fundraiser (i.e. I became that weasel-faced guy in Dublin that I always try to avoid on Grafton Street) and got pretty in to it. The people I worked with are some of the most amazing people I met and the job has really opened my eyes to alot of things. There are some total legends...some of the most inspirational
people I've ever had the pleasure to meet, including one girl who has joined the short list of people who have shaped and changed my life.
Still, it was pretty tough going when alot of people don't really give a shit that they can make a difference. I'm fairly certain it would be easier raising money for a charity which provided cappucino's to children in third world countries, rather than water and medicine, since I think this would strike more of a chord with these sons-of-bitches.
Ah well, most of the people I've met here are really friendly and the girls are just great. I bumped in to an ex who had kicked me to the curb back home, inspiring Mike to come up with the idea for a reality T.V. show: "Chumped: Down Under". Basically, it gives girls who messed me around without compassion or explanation, and put a corkscrew through my heart, the opportunity to do it again here in Australia. If we can get
Gaffney and the two Susans in on it then I think we're on to a winner. Ratings would be secured by me making a dick out of myself each week, and falling in to a downward spiral of confusion, with a pain that stops and starts. The series finale would see me putting my head in the oven.
Aaron has arrived and will be here for the next couple of months. It is of course great to see him, although it feels like longer than 4 months since I saw him last! The 3 of us have bought a car and the plan at the moment is to drive to Perth. So I'm back traveling, which is cool. Plans of course are subject to change, and I'm going to find it hard to leave Melbourne.
We'll be moving on next week, after we cathch 'The Goonies', which is being shown in a local cinema.
I met Karl Kennedy and Harold Bishop from Neighbours.
Do not, I repeat do not, attept to come back here to get me. I am perfectly happy living here in the fresh air and wide open spaces and I fear that unnecessary time travel only risks further disruption to the space-time continuum.
And please take care of Jack for me. As you recall, I left him in my lab in 1985. I know you will give him a good home. Remember to walk him twice a day and that he only likes canned dog food.
There are my wishes, please respect them and follow them.
And so Marty, I now say fairwell and wish you Godspeed. You've been a good, kind and loyal friend to me and you've made a real difference in my life.
I will always treasure our relationship and think of you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart.
Your friend in time,
"Doc" Emmett L. Brown