Dublin Hotels
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Maybe Tomorrow
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I was bored of my opening page, so now here's a nice little table of contents...
The End
"Going home is totally overrated."
England Pt. 2
"I swear, the sound of parents smacking their fat kids in supermarkets should be the drumline of the British national anthem."
Spain Pt. 2
"I fucking hate cancer. It is a coward of a disease that sneaks up on people. It is gutless and pathetic and I hate it."
France Pt. 2
"Night buses are always signifigant, but the one to Paris seemed especially so."
Spain Pt. 1
"Listening to Spanish girls talking is as intense and comfortable as a vibrating chair."
France Pt. 1
"It used to be that you needed alot of money to holiday in the south of France, now all you need is a lack of imagination."
Italy
"The people aren't as good looking as I was lead to believe by Fashion TV."
Greece
"I made an outrageous conclusion about Greece on my first day, and that made me content with leaving so soon."
Cyprus
"I bet you never thought I'd use the phrase 'severed genitals' in this travelogue"
Bahrain
"This is not an entry...this is just a tribute."
Australia Pt. 3
"I gave the whole South Pacific one last squeeze on the ass and that was that."
Vanuatu
"It's
essential after a break-up to make sure that you do something excellent
to take your mind of it and attempt to convince yourself that you're
better off."
Fiji
"People in the hotel mistook us for real people rather than backpackers."
Tonga
"I now carry my snorkel around with me so I can submerge my face in any body of water we find."
New Zealand Pt. 2
"Meeting
these school friends of mine who are settling down and getting married
usually makes me think, very briefly, that I should start thinking
about buying a four door house and finding a semi-detached wife."
Australia Pt. 2
"The pinnacle of shitness came in the form of some guy who decided to do a medley/blend of 'No Woman, No Cry' and 'Let It Be'."
New Zealand Pt. 1
"The
girls are traveling together and have fallen in to 'synchronised
menstrual cycles'. It's the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen."
Australia Pt. 1
"It's trips like these that make me want to throw my shoes out the window and head off to some island to live off coconuts."
Thailand
"There's no welcome to Bangkok like that of a lady boy smearing an unknown substance on your face."
Hong Kong
"Leaving
H.K. was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and
probably messed with my head more than any girl possibly could."
China
"In
the most impressive serene settings you can suddenly turn to find some
guide shouting through a megaphone that now would be a good opportunity
for all the people in yellow baseball caps to take a piss."
Mongolia
"The fucker who punched him should be sent to Siberia, if he didn't live there already."
Russia
"We have come to the conclusion that Russia is the ass capital of the world."
England Pt. 1
"The 3rd Scriver Cup was a great success. It was an English victory this time."
Ireland
"Is 'rolling' really better than 'folding'?"
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