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Les dieux sont tombés sur la tête/Gods must be cra
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Après une nuit agitée, les zèbres ne sont pas de tout repos, je décide de m'offrir un bon petit dèj à l'auberge. J'arrive un peu tôt et en profite pour faire le tour du proprio. C'est tranquille. Pas d'éléphants ce matin. Finalement la table est dressée et la maîtresse de maison arrive. Nous discutons pendant presque deux heures sans voir le temps passer. Elle heureuse de pouvoir parler français, moi sous le charme de ses histoires. Il est temps de partir.
Un dernier arrêt pour refaire le plein d'essence et de provision (2 boites de conserves. L'épicerie du coin n'est certainement pas dans le guide Michelin pour la qualité et la diversité de ses produits) et je quitte la route.
Le Kalahari, le vrai, en poussière et en chaleur, s'étend devant moi. Difficile de voir quoi que ce soit vu que c'est tout plat et un mur de broussaille me barre la vue. Il suffit de savoir que c'est là et que j'y suis aussi.
Arrivé à l'entrée, c'est le moment de vérité. J'ai entendu trop de gens me dirent différentes choses à propos du Kalahari: N'y vas pas, tu vas avoir tellement de plaisir, fais attention, prends de l'eau pour un mois... Le garde va décider pour moi. S'il dit que c'est trop dangereux ou insensé, je resterai dans la nord du parc où il y a suffisamment de va et viens. S'il me dit que c'est ok, je traverserai.
Un garde hilare m'accueille. Il me demande où sont les gens avec moi. Je suis seul. Où sont vos amis? Ils travaillent. Où est votre femme? Je n'en ai pas. Pourquoi? Je suis trop moche. Rires. J'ai un nouvel ami. Je lui explique mon plan et lui demande conseil. Avec le Defender que vous avez, vous n'aurez aucun problème. On est parti! Mais vous allez vous ennuyez sans personne à qui parler pendant 4 jours. C'est ok je me raconterai des histoires. Il me donne son numéro de téléphone perso au cas où. Je suis gonflé à bloc. En voiture!
Je passe l'après-midi à me promener dans le nord. Ramasse une glacière abandonnée sur la route et la mets sur le capot, espérant rencontrer le propriétaire en chemin.
Mon plan est d'établir mon camp bien avant la nuit. Et de manger alors qu'il fait encore jour. Je ne veux pas avoir le dos tourner lorsque les lions du Kalahari arriveront. J'ai suivi mon plan à lettre mais les lions ne sont jamais arrivés. Un couple de sud-africain est arrivé à mon campement. Ils m'ont raconté avoir vu quelques lions à 7 Km de là. Trop tard le camp est installé. Soudain ils me demandent si je n'ai pas vu une glacière. C'est votre jour de chance. Ils me remercient m'offrent de la viande fraîche, me font promettre de passer les voir lorsque je visiterai l'Afrique du Sud. Bref on est ami. Sinon pour la vie au moins pour la nuit.
Le reste de la traversée est comme l'avait annoncé le garde. Longue et ennuyeuse. Les animaux sont isolés et encore plus sauvages qu'ailleurs. Mais rien ne peut me démoraliser. Je décide cependant d'écourter mon séjour et d'accélérer le rythme. Non pas que je puisse rouler plus vite dans ces chemins de sable profond et mou, mais je roulerai plus longtemps. En trois jours je traverse le Kalahari en zigzag. Du nord-est à l'ouest puis au sud-est.
Fixing the car will take two hours according to the mechanic. Seven hours later I'm still there. It's too late now to be in the CKGR. I'll arrive after the gates are closed. I ask the mechanic if there a place to spend the night between Maun et the entrance of the reserve that he would recommend. I don't feel like staying in Maun. Without an hesitation comes his answer: Leroo-La-Tau. Simple and clear. The foot print of the lion. I already like that place. I will spend the night there then. A quick stop at the Wildlife office to get the papers to enter the park tomorrow. Another stop to buy some good fresh meat. And go.
65 Km later there's a road block. It's to prevent the spreading of the foot and mouth disease. The cops want to see if I carry any meat. I do. I don't understand how three rump streak can carry the mortal virus, but frustrated I give up my newly acquired meat. Here go my meals for the next four days. Thank goodness I have few cans left. I throw a not-so-happy look at them. They just don't taste the same on the Bar-B-Cue. I insist for the cops to have a good meal tonight on me with my meat. They're offended. It's going to be destroyed, sir! Well, what a waste! But no point arguing. Something more important is waiting for me.
I manage to find the lodge without trouble. I park the car and get in. I'm welcome in a very familiar French accent. Obviously the owners, Manon and Eddy, and I have something in common. Manon is very happy to speak French. They show me around. The lodge sits on a 15 meters high cliff right above a waterhole. And guess who's having a drink at the bar right now. Three big bulls. I mean elephant bulls. I've seen so many of them already that I get familiar with them. Eddy invites me to have a closer look by taking the stairs downwards. Now I'm level with the big fellows. They don't seem to like me to much. I disturb their drinks. Probably my aftershave. After throwing dirty looks at me for 5 minutes they go back to the bar frowning. I'm so happy they're frowning like that... No the well know bark or trumpet like sound.
It's getting dark now. I realize that just when the Manon tells me the story of a couple who spent the might at the camp site some days ago. They had planned three nights. The first one, a whole pack of lion came to visit. That was too much for them and they decided to change their plan... It's time for me to carry on. I want to stick to my plan: I'm alone so I don't want to set camp in the dark with my back towards the open. It's already too late but still.
After driving the two kilometers of sandy road, I enter the camp site and find my-self under a thick canopy of vegetation. It must be nice during the day. Right now it's pitch black. I pick a spot, liking the shape of a tree. I park, get out and walk around the car to start unfolding the tent right away. I lift up my foot to start climbing when I hear a familiar frown. Without stopping I decide to change my plan for a 180 degrees turn and walk back around the car aiming for the driver's door. In the military books it's called a tactical retreat. Not a defeat. Once inside, I think. Hard. That elephant was probably less than 15 meters away. If he, or she, decides to have a go at me, I'll have a hard time to explain to the car's owner that I took the wrong parking spot. I decided to wait and see. No running, like always. I give the elli ten minutes to walk its way through the area. Time to get back out. Carefully but noisily I go around the perimeter. No more frowning. I pretend I'm cool and go to work. Starting with a BIG fire camp. The tent is set up more quickly than usual and I don't feel like cooking tonight. For some reason. A cold can will do the job. Time to go to bed. And wait for some late visitors...
After an agitated night, zebras are not the quietest neighbors, I decide to treat my-self with a good breakfast at the lodge. I'm early and opt for a walk around the perimeter. A recently taken habit. Everything is quiet. No ellies this morning. Finally breakfast is ready and the host arrives. We spend almost two hours talking about Botswana or France without noticing it. She's happy to speak French, I'm under the charm of her stories. But time to go.
A last stop at Rakops for fuel and food (2 lonely cans of extremely local food in an UN-convenient store) and I'm off the road.
The Kalahari, the real one, in dirt and in heat, is revealing it-self in front of me. Hard to see anything, it's so flat. The first row of bushes prevents from seeing any further. It's enough to know it's there and I'm there too.
The moment of truth is here at last. I heard so many people telling me different things about the Kalahari. To go. Not to go. You'll have such a blast! Take water for three months... I decided the guard would decide for me. He actually won't. But whatever he tells me, will prevail in my decision to go across the Kalahari or not. If he thinks it's too dangerous alone, I'll stay in the North part of the reserve where there's more traffic. If he says it's ok, then you won't hear from me for at least four days.
A laughing guard welcomes me. "Why are you alone?" "Because nobody wanted to come with me." "Where are your friends?" "They're working." "Where's your wife?" "I don't have one. Why? I'm too ugly. Laughter. I have a new friend. I explain my plan and ask him if it's crazy or not. "With the Defender you have, you won't have any problem." I'm so gone! "But you're going to be bored to death with nobody to talk to for four days." "That's ok. I'll tell my-self stories." He gives me his own cell phone number. Just in case. En voiture!
I spend the afternoon wandering around in the North part of the park. Pick up a cooler box that's lying of the road and put it on the hood, hoping I'll pass the owner at some point.
Like always my plan is to set up camp way before dark. And have supper when it's still bright. I don't want to turn my back to the darkness of the night and not see an attack coming. The lions of the Kalahari are as famous as the hyenas for that. I stick to it, but the lions never showed up. A South African couple shows up at my camp and tells me they saw few lions only 7 Km away. I have time to pack and go before it's too late. It's already too late. The camp is set. Before leaving they ask me if I didn't find a cooler box. That's your lucky day! They thank me over and over and offer me some lamp chops (The best I ever had as they assured me) before make me promise to come and visit them if I ever go on a stroll around South Africa. We're friends. If not for life, at least for the night.
The remaining of the drive is as forecasted by the Guard. Long and boring. The game is isolated and very elusive. Despite the fact that nothing can stain my happiness, I decide to accelerate the drive though. I can't really drive faster in that deep soft sand but I decide to drive longer and skip on stop. I drive across the Kalahari zigzagging in three days. From the North-East to the West then the South-East.
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| 32. | Les dieux sont tombés sur la tête/Gods must be cra - Kalahari, Botswana Oct 26, 2004 |
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