Wicked Whitsundays

  Whitsunday Islands, Queensland, Australia
Saturday, April 12, 2008

After shaking of the small morning hangover's we picked up Alun and Teresa and drove down to the harbour to board our boat for the next 3 days, "Avatar".

Avatar aka "The Pimpest ride in the Harbour"

  
After picking up our sexy stinger suits from Mrs. Snorkel which are obligatory due to the marine stingers (box jellyfish) in the water this far North, we headed down the jetty to load the bags and booze onto the boat.
 
According to Lonely Planet this was a boat for "young up market singles", which all seemed apparent with the ratio of about 20 girls to 6 blokes in the group. I don't think Maud and I fall into this category anymore but the double trampolines for lazing the day away were just as attractive. In fact the entire boat was pretty cool, it was a formula one racing trimaran, custom built to be sailed around the world, but according to Dave (the deckhand) the owner ran out of cash and it went into charter in the Whitsunday's. Our berth was in one of the side pontoons, it was basically just a cell with a roof hatch and mattress inside, but it was more private than the bunks in the main cabin and you could gaze out at the stars at night, if you could see straight that is.

Cruising through the Whitsundays

 
 
We left the harbour under engine power and for the first hour were introduced to the crew and given the lowdown on the do's and don'ts of the boat. We had John the Skipper, who just needed a parrot on his shoulder to make him truly authentic, Dave the deckhand and basically Sergeant Major of the boat and finally the most important member of the crew Sarah, who was our chef for the trip. Next the do's and don'ts, basically don't put any part of your anatomy anywhere near the winches and other mechanisms used for the sails or you're likely to have something chopped off "by over 80 tons of pressure" according to Dave. Though when he showed us his missing pinky finger everyone did pay a bit more attention. Also don't drop anything into the ocean, accident or otherwise or the fine is a spoonful of vegemite, pretty disgusting stuff. Finally the bathroom etiquette was discussed, as in don't block the toilets or we'll all suffer, plus the fact showers were limited to 45 seconds and no shampoo or shower gels could be used.  The look on all the girls faces was priceless. Basically the ground rules were laid out and safety instructions were given to ensure everyone knew the rules but could then begin enjoying themselves.
 

Cruising through the Whitsundays

After our little lecture the winds had begun to pick up so it was time to raise the sail and see what this boat could really do. To raise the main sail takes ten people pulling on the rope, which is really easy at first but get increasingly more difficult as the sail fills with wind, the last few pulls being pretty hard going.

Cruising through the Whitsundays

It was worth the effort though as once the main sail was up the boat was really flying along, everyone kicked back on the trampolines for our cruise to Hill Inlet, this was the life...
 
After mooring at Hill Inlet, a lunch of rotisserie chicken, pasta and salads was served and it was really good considering the size of the galley and that Sarah was catering for 23 hungry people - even better was washing it down with a few beers.

On our way to Hill Inlet

After finishing lunch, Dave did a transfer from the boat to Whitsunday Island and after we had all been dropped off we trekked up to the viewing point to see one of the most photographed places in Australia, Whitehaven Beach.
 
As Helen would say "It looks exactly as it says on the tin", meaning that the view was exactly as all the postcards and brochures had shown it, absolutely stunning, probably one of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

Whitehaven Beach from Hill Inlet

I won't try to describe it in any more detail as the pictures do it all the justice it deserves and definitely speak more than a thousand words....breathtaking.

Whitehaven Beach from Hill Inlet

 
After taking loads of photos we headed down to the beach to check it out at ground level. The sand here is about 99% silica so really soft and very white and good for cleaning jewellery too as we had found out in Fraser Island.

On Whitehaven Beach

  The water was also inviting so we donned our stinger suits (they remind me of Roland's Lemsip Number - the Bermuda lot will know what I'm on about), which are basically unflattering all in one lycra numbers that protect you from the deadly jellyfish here, but make you look like something out of Star Trek or Captain Scarlet, and set off into the water.

How hot do we look ???

 
We chilled out for a while in the water, feeling a bit stupid, though not as stupid as if we had been stung and had to be airlifted out of there and then made our way back up the beach to dry off.  We got chatting to a couple of girls, Frances & Katie, from Kent and this is where I had one of those "Honest Al" moments where what I say and what I mean aren't quite the same thing.  We were chatting about her aim to be a news reader and got on to the subject of HD tv and that a lot of daytime soap actors in the US had been complaining because with the better picture you can see they are wearing 6 inches of makeup.  Unfortunately I then said "that won't do you any favours will it ?"  meaning that everyone would look worse close up but that is not what it sounded like.  She looked at me for a moment and thankfully laughed and said "if you think I'm ugly you can just say so !".  Good job she had a sense of humour.

Whitehaven Beach

Whitehaven Beach

 
Having made my apologies we chatted until it was time to meet back up with Dave for a lift back to the boat for our evening meal. When we got back to the boat Sarah had laid on some snacks for us to munch on and it was now time to get those painful introductions out of the way with the usual, what's your name, where do you come from routine, but with a twist which included what's the most interesting thing about you question (which is really hard when you have to think about it) and a what do you hate the most question (which is really easy, but I guess you have to be careful what you say, after my Honest Al moment earlier that afternoon).
 
So introducing the crew-

The crew

 
Alun & Teresa - the Brit couple we had already met on Fraser
Daan & Pascale - A Dutch couple who I had inadvertently met earlier in our campsite
Frances and Katie - Two girls from Kent
Connol - A Scouse Phd student
Connor - The Canadian guy who had instigated the intro's, reminded us of Leonardo Dicaprio in the Beach (i.e up for anything) and hated tampons.
Mark - Connor's buddy, who had lied to his boss so he could leave his job early and come to Australia instead.
The Two Johanna's - Both from Sweden, one didn't like hairs in the shower (yuk- agreed !!)
The four young Brit girls, well one was Welsh - Katherine (Welsh), Jess, Alex and Sophie
Rondell - A Canadian bird who had sold everything to do her trip and had stopped in Oz on her way to work in NZ.
A Swiss couple - I am really sorry I can't remember their names.
 
It was a good way of meeting everyone and trying to remember their names over the excellent Spag Bol that Sarah had prepared for dinner. After dinner the drinks began to flow under an amazing ceiling of stars that were much brighter out here as there is no light pollution. Beers were flowing and once the "goon" was brought out the usual drinking games were instigated.

Sunset Day 1

 
I won't try and explain the drinking games, but will give you the lowdown on the Goon. Basically, Goon is the cheapest boxed wine available in the liquor store, in fact the cheaper the better, usually around $10 for 4 litres. It is not purchased for taste, but as the cheapest thing to get you drunk, plus it does not matter if you buy $20 goon, it still tastes as rough as the $10 stuff, as Helen found out much to her dismay. Also known as "Chateau Cardboard", you remove the outer casing of cardboard from the silver bladder and at this moment all you are left with is a silver bag of cheap rancid wine. This bag can be slapped before drinking to make an impressive sound, also known as "Slapping the Goon", and has an even better use when emptied as you can blow it up and use it as a pillow wherever you collapse, hence it can also be referred to as the "Silver Pillow". Aaaaah the intricacies of Goon. Needless to say there were quite a few drunk people on board and we eventually retired to bed at about 11pm, which was pretty late in boat charter terms.
 
The next morning we were woken at 7am as Dave told the bleary eyed crew we were going to our first snorkeling site for the day. After breakfast we donned our stinger suits again and jumped into the water to take our first look of the Great Barrier Reef. Helen was a little bit freaked just getting into the water as it was quite deep and we had to swim across to the reef before it got shallower.  Thoughts of stingers getting up her sleeves and sharks were making her a bit panicky, but after five minutes she calmed down a bit and we snorkeled over the coral checking out all the amazing fish. That was until a Black Tip Reef shark swam straight in front of us and then she really panicked, she went straight back to the tender that Dave was driving around the reef only to be told that it was just a baby and more scared of her than she was of it and not to be such a wuss, poor Maud !!  So after about 5 minutes she got back in the water.
 
After about an hour of really good snorkeling we all got back onto the boat and were taken to the next snorkeling site, home to Albert, the huge Maori Wrasse.

Connor feeding the fish

After lunch and watching Connor hand feed what looked like oversize Angel Fish we got back into the water to see if we could spot Albert. Within five minutes Albert appeared with hundreds of other fish enticed by the bread that Dave was throwing of the tender. After you got used to it, it was amazing to be surrounded by so many fish and especially this one metre long giant wrasse that you could actually stroke when it got close to you. The coral around here was also really impressive, with some stag coral which ends glowed blue in the sunlight so they looked like lights on a Christmas tree. There was also some schools of quite big fish that were also floating by the trimaran at one point, this was some of the best snorkeling I had done.
 
After we had all got back on board and some of us had done some diving from the back of the boat, we headed to the final snorkeling site for the day, which we were told would be the best place to see turtles. After being dropped of at the beach (apparently the one where Dead Calm was filmed) and being told by Dave not to venture to the other side due to all manner of dangerous shells and fish ("they'll kill you within about 5 minutes of being stung, spiked, barbed etc", he really liked to emphasize the dangers of everything, so you didn't do it), we all got back into the water to try and spot turtles. True to his word though Dave did know the best site for turtles and within five minutes one had been spotted. It was amazing to be able to swim alongside these huge turtles and stroke their shells as they looked at you with that stoned expression on their faces as they glided through the water, very cool !! We sat back on the beach waiting for our pick up, while Connol the Scouse Phd continued looking for more turtles, we named him half man-half fish in the end as he was never out of the water the whole trip.

Beer and G & T O'clock

 

As we sailed to our mooring for the evening we were joined by a sea eagle (or stunt eagle as Dave called it) which we had attracted to the boat by whistling loudly. Dave was throwing out pieces of sausage for the eagle to try and catch mid flight, which it succeded in doing a couple of times.

The Stunt Eagle - what a great shot by Maud !

The final fly by it had to take the food from the water, of which Helen got an amazing picture, what it doesn't show though is the seagull the eagle nearly took out at the same time for trying to steal it's food.
 
Being a Sunday night, dinner was roast beef and was totally amazing, I nearly came close to saying it was as good as my mums, which would have be the ultimate compliment, seriously though, Sarah was a great chef and the food was brilliant the whole trip through.

Sunset Day 2

Then obviously came the after dinner drinks and ensuing drinking games which everyone got involved in. It was a really good night and everyone was enjoying themselves, it had turned out that we probably had the best bunch of people on a charter that you could hope for. Obviously drinking games begin to turn into drinking stupidity and Goon snorkels began to make an appearance as well as beer shotguns. Mark had gone to the cooler to get some cans of beer and on his was back across the trampoline lost his footing and ended up hanging half in the cabin of the sleeping Swiss couple.  Not sure they'll sleep soundly again after waking up with Mark inches from their face shouting "I didn't drop the beer". I obviously didn't want to let the oldies down and rised to the challenge of the beer shotgun, only to let a full can slip through the trampoline into the water below, more worried about the turtles than the vegemite fine (I actually think I had forgotten about the fines), I spent five minutes absconding myself, until doing a proper shotgun and then letting the empty can fall through the trampoline.....idiot. Needless to say we all swayed back to our cabins and collapsed into drunken slumbers ready for the next day ahead.
 
The morning after was fairly painful, but after breakfast there was worse to come.

Veggimite Punishment

Sarah the non-drinking chef had been noting down the activities of the prior evening and was walking around menacingly with her pot of vegemite and a lot of spoons. Somehow Connor, Mark and myself were all sitting together lined up perfectly to receive our punishment, perhaps un-conciously we all knew that we had dropped something over the side of the boat, be it by mistake or not. Connor received his two spoon fine first and didn't seem to enjoy it that much, I was to get my two fines next and stupidly tried to chew the stuff rather than swallow it whole, nearly being sick trying to hold it down.

Anyone got a bucket

Mark however took his one fine down as if it were a spoon of jam, rather than the thick tar like marmite, known as vegemite over here, real man !!!!

Veggimite Punishment

 
After the fines and the vegemite sitting nicely in my stomach, we were dropped across to the final snorkeling site and beach of the trip. The beach was made up of dead coral pieces and was really painful to walk on and lie down on, but again the snorkeling was amazing with huge schools of fish on one side and brilliant coral gardens over another side.

Snorkelling

 
Snorkelling over, Dave ran us back to the boat for the last time and our last lunch on Avatar. This time the four Brit girls had to wait until last to get their lunch, which was fair dinkum as they had been first in line the previous times and I have never known girls to enjoy there food so much, I think it was because they had been living off 2 minute noodles until then.
 
With lunch over we pulled up the main sail for the final time and tried to race one of the Maxi's (Condor) back to harbour, but didn't quite have power to win. We were all relaxing on the way home, sorry that the trip couldn't last longer, but grateful to be going back to dry land for a deserved long hot shower and terra firma beneath our feet, plus we were all meeting back up again in Beaches that night for a farewell drink.
 
Maud was a little down on the fact that the shower she was returning to was in the campsite and her bed for the night was back in the campervan, so not really a major step up from the boat. What she didn't know was that I had sneakily booked us into a four star hotel that evening to celebrate that we had been going out together for 10 years, plus I knew that after the boat a night of luxury would be needed. After we had docked and thanked the crew for all their efforts, we dropped off Alun & Teresa at the backpackers and Helen was about to check back into the campsite when I let her in on the secret. 

Surprise Hotel in Airlie Beach

She couldn't have been any happier, infinity pool, long hot shower and best of all a hairdryer to do her hair before we went out that evening, gold stars for me all round !!
 
We went to meet everyone from the boat at a bar on the main strip, called Beaches, which was very much like Magnums just down the road. After having a bite to eat before the rest of the group arrived, we watched them come in one by one all having undergone massive transformations after a hot shower and some fresh clothes, I didn't even recognize one of the Brit girls Alex as she looked totally different with her hair down. The free drinks were brought round and another night of revellery was about to begin.
 
What was apparent after a rendition of "Wonderwall" and some group singing from our boat, was that the other boat groups in the bar clearly hadn't had as good a trip as us. We had all got on really well together as a team, managed to tolerate each other in the confined space of a boat, and in then end had possibly the best group of people we could have asked for to enjoy the trip with. So here's to the crew of "Avatar", you know who you are, for probably one of our best 3 days of traveling so far, it was awesome, cheers !!  

Thanks for the Veggimite