3rd Cricket Test between England & the Black Caps
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Napier,
North Island,
New Zealand
Saturday, March 22, 2008
After a week long excursion, I found myself back in Napier with my friends ready the deciding cricket game between New Zealand and England. However before the third test began we had a few free days, and we made the short 2 hour drive to Taupo. Spending most of the time unsuccessfully trying to persuade them to try an adrenaline filled activity like sky diving or white water rafting. We ended up on a jet boat trip down the rapids on the Waikato River, with its doughnut manoeuvres ensuring everyone got a tad wet but personally I felt disappointed from this activity, 80 dollars that could have been spent elsewhere. Even more surprising is that you can't get hold of any alcohol on Good Friday or Easter Sunday unless it is purchased with a meal, much to the disgust of my friends.
Back in Napier, I crashed on the floor of my mates studio apartment at the camp site which was ideally located a short walk away from the cricket stadium. So back to the cricket.....like the test in Wellington we ended up sitting on the grassy bank along side the Barmy Army. These England cricket fans that follow the team all round the world and will sing their heart out for the last two hours of every day usually fuelled by a belly full of beer. This time round I felt confident to sing along with this crazy group as I have finally learnt the words that I couldn't decipher during the second test in Wellington. And unlike football chant these songs have a lot less swearing in and it appears every player has a song.
For example ..... Sang at the England bowler, Ryan Sidebottom to the tune of Robin Hood..
Sidebottom, Sidebottom running through the air
Sidebottom, Sidebottom with his curly hair
He bats at eight or nine
His hat-trick was sublime
Sidebottom, Sidebottom, Sidebottom
Or occasional line 3 and 4 is replaced by
He bats at number Eight
He likes to masturbate
Or the New Zealand bowler, 'Chris Martin'
You've got Chris Martin
He's not in Coldplay
He ain't shag Gwynneth
He cannot sing (cannot sing)
He got no album or record contract
And he's just as booorr......(lasts a while)...rriing!!!!!
Not that surprising as cricket is more associated with the upper class and this was reflected with the ring leaders of the England Barmy Army who will only sing their songs when they are ready.... Usually after tea and will frown upon anyone else starting their own chant especially those supporters who have only just started watching the England cricket team. But the loudest and proudest song is 'Rule Britannia' where the majority of all England fans will stand up and join in and for a brief moment I actually feel patriotic about the UK.
Other than the cricket, singing, drinking and eating battered sausages on a stick this test will be remembered for a cheeky group of Kiwis pulling peoples' trousers down to those who were standing up and unfortunately I was also a victim of this act. But to complete my humiliation my boxers also followed the trousers down to my knees and left my crown jewels and my hairy arse fully exposed to any unlucky onlookers for that brief second. Lets hoped it wasn't caught on SKY TV. Just to cap it off I decided to miss the final day as England has virtually won the game and the match, as I had some important job hunting to do and for this crime I missed one of the fastest 50's scored in international cricket by a young bowler in his first ever game for the black caps.
Most of the evenings after the cricket involved a pub as my friends spent most of their fortnight vacation intoxicated, as their followed the cleaky ring leaders of the England Barmy Army, trying to be accepted into their clan. It was that sad and desperate I was embarrassed to be associated with my friends as their sat in a corner drinking until the ring leaders decided it was time to disrupt the locals enjoying any chance of a quiet drink or meal with their boisterous slinging. But on our final night in Napier we were rewarded by numerous players from the cricket team making a guest appearance and their karaoke version of the Barmy Army chants. I even got to meet the sexy brunette girl from the pop group 'Liberty X' (don't know her name but she's dating Kevin Pieterson)
So after the two weeks of cricket, I am glad it is all over. This game goes on for too long! I am also glad to be departing from my old school friends, scared at how little we have in common now...... have we natural drifted apart or is this travelling changing me and my views of life. I wouldn't have flown half way around the world for a two week vacation to the beautiful country of New Zealand and spend 75% of my time in a cricket ground or a pub. In my view you can do that back home! I just wished my heart didn't tell me it was 2 weeks wasted and that I should have followed my friends from the apple picking onto the south island plus my wallet certainly wouldn't be feeling the pinch after 2 weeks with my UK friends.
But hindsight is a wonderful thing!! And it is what you do now that really matters in life!
