A Bit 'O' Background!

Trip Start Sep 09, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of United Kingdom  ,
Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I've been on about seeing the world for years. More importantly though, I've been 'itching' to do it for years. When I sit and think about it - if I hadn't have climbed Mt Kilimanjaro (Tanzania) in 2001, I really don't think I'd have had the same drive and determination to finally cut the strings and - just do it. I'd have just had that 'dream' in the back of my mind, as I expect a lot of people have. The problem is you can't build a reputation on what you are going to do - and as most of us know or soon will, the years really do fly by!

See, climbing Mt Kilimanjaro in 2001 was a very significant 'pivotal point' in my life. Something happened to me during those ten days that I'll never be able to describe in actual words. The only chance I've got of someone 'understanding' is to physically find another person who has gone through the same life-changing experience. Funny thing is, they too are probably half-way round the world themselves by now! (or at least planning to!).

Since the expedition, I've received many a bewildered look whenever I have mentioned my intention to one day return to Mt Kilimanjaro. If only they knew how totally serious I really am. I came away from 'Kili' blessed with an indescribable spiritual connection to it's presence that has since left me unsettled in my everyday life. On a very subliminal level I feel as though I left a part of me on the mountain - or rather the mountain 'took' a part of me before I left - I'm not sure which. But I don't mean that as in a sense of loss - quite the opposite in fact. I've gained something intangible, something you cant buy with a roll of notes. I've gained or rather been granted an honourable 'appointment' so to speak, for sometime in the future - and yes, I will be returning there.

I was reading an article the other day called This land is my land... written by a kiwi - Sandra Paterson. I was referred to it by another kiwi who I had come across by researching my travel plans (thanks Jackie!). She had submitted a post entitled 'Why I live where I live........and may you all find the same' with an outline of Sandra Paterson's article. The article itself isn't particularly long but explains her strong unfathomable connections with the physical land of her home country that make her truly, truly content and complete. For those interested in reading it click 'this little link!'. A simple article like that really puts in to perspective what we've got (or rather what we 'think' we've got), but also shows the potential of what we could have. But really, I'm more excited about discovering 'what' we can have - the things we aren't even aware of because we don't know any different.

Now, with a post topic such as 'Why I live where I live........and may you all find the same', well to be honest I too want to find the same. The problem is I've not found it yet and admittedly never really looked. The connection that I'm talking about with Kili was a result of ten days exposure to an extreme environment and it has lit a fire within me that craves more. I felt more 'completeness' in those ten days than I ever have during the accumulated years of my everyday life. I was given a glimpse of something radically different, of what this world really has to offer and I'm not willing to ignore it any longer.

In case you were wondering, this essentially is the basis for my journey. I'm going in search of 'the same'. In search of 'home' if you like - but I've got to find it first. If I'm honest, I've never really felt a 'connection' to my home country (the place where I was born) and after experiencing something so powerful as 'Kili' I already know that I'll never be able to settle in life until I 'settle' where I'm connected - and that will be home. And if that means that I end up right back where I started, then that's fine with me - cos' I will be home.
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cguzik on

Sometimes I just read your blog for the sake of reading something, or just to get to know you better. Today I came across this entry and I just want to tell you that what you drescribe here seems beautiful, priceless.

I met you months after you started living your dream, and I can only wish you the best and I know you will find that place call home.

Thanks for your great words of inspiration when I need them most!!


crossed on

refreshing and inspiring!
hi there!- i like the way your blog is worded and the photos tastefully taken/displayed... a real travelling work of art!... i myself can really connect with you ,having been on the road for a total time of 10 years,i'm home now working...but secretly saving up for another excuse to ' run away' from my limited british life!!/i know your thoughts like the back of my hand.. i've been there too,countless times over...if only i started with travelpod back then!

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