The harsh reality of high expectations

Trip Start May 26, 2007

Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Colombia Tayrona, Colombia
Thursday, November 15, 2007

Tayrona National Park is gorgeous. Lying in hammocks under straw huts, watching the deep blue of the carribean splashing against the pure white of the perfectly smooth rocks which lie next to the palm lined beaches at the base of rain-foerested hills. If this place had good surf i'd never leave. And althought the scenery is a paradisical dream, Tayrona also managed to hit me (quite literally as you'll soon find out) with a bit of a reality check. It was here i learnt that all situations in my life have three possible outcomes:- the one that i seem to eagerly expect, the one a regular person could anticipate, and then the one that actually happens. Allow me to demonstrate

Situation:- After walking through rainforest for almost an hour with all our stuff plus shopping bags we see a horse.

My hopeful expectation:- I approach the horse, offer it some food and try and make it follow me while we put our luggage on its back
Reasonable Expectation:- I approach the horse, offer it some food and it either ignores me or just eats all my food without pay off

1 Enjoying the atmosphere

.
What actually happens:- I approach the horse and i only need to come within a few meters of it before it smells the food and it's crazy eyes stare at me like i'm a massive carrot. All of a sudden it turns and charges at me, chasing me the whole way down the beach and trying to bite my arm

Situation:- We see a massive papaya that must have weighed at least a good 3-4kgs (we named it papa papaya)

My hopeful expectation:- I buy it and take it with me to Tayrona where it not only provides me with sustenance for the next few days but i also help solve the worlds hunger problems
Reasonable expectaion:- I buy it and take it with me to Tayrona and realise there is nothing there to store it in and thus have to throw almost the whole thing away
What actually happens:- I buy it and take it to Tayrona with me and realise there is nothing to store it in and thus think to myself i have no option but to finish it in one sitting. Within minutes i'm passed out on the beach with papaya poisoning

Situation:- I'm swimming around to the ocean side of a big set of rocks attempting to find a way to climb to the top of them

2 Worth a dozen logs to the face

.

My hopeful expectation:- I wait for a largish surge, one just big enough to be able to sit me on top of the rock where i can then look down on the rest of the world like WORMS!
Reasonable expectation:- I wait for a largish surge but because there hasn't been anythin even slighly big enough to get me to the top of this thing i either swim back into shore or drown waiting
What actually happens:- A ridiculously big surge comes screaming out of nowhere and sends we right the way over the top of the rock and sees me land a bunch of other rocks on the other side, leaving me with a number of incisions all over my body

Situation:- Me and linz are lying on the beach when linz asks "what could make life better than this"
"A coconut" i reply.
"Agreed" he says and thus begins our search for a coconut. We start by 'borrowing' a machete from the backyard of a nearby shop then start looking for a ripe old coconut hangin from a tree. At first we try climbing a tree. Bad idea. We then try throwing rocks up into the tree which seemed to be doing well until linz almost hit the girl sunbaking nearby

3 Papa papaya

. We start strolling the beach, racking our brains for ideas, when we come across a low hanging tree and next to it, a 2.5metre, 15cm thick log...

My hopeful expectation:- I put linz on my shoulders, stand under the tree, he has a swing at the coconuts and one drops off, lands directly on the machete, slices evenly in two and miraculously lands on a plate ready for eatin
Realistic Expectation:- I put linz on my shoulders, stand under the tree, he has a swing at the coconuts and one drops off and lands square on my head
What actually happens:- I put linz on my shoulders, stand under the tree, he has a swing at the coconuts and drops the 2.5m, 15cm thick log on my head. And not only that, after collecting me on the way through it then continued to ricochet between the the ground and my torso until i was left bruised and battered and still trying to support linz who is sittin on my shoulders. We got the coconut though, so it was worth it.